| TL; dr at the bottom
Ok, so what has brought me here? I'm 26, don't consider myself bad with women in GENERAL (I can actually get sex pretty easily usually), it's a problem with RELATIONSHIPS. That is, if I like a girl enough to do more than just have sex with her - uh oh, we have a problem.
My latest situation has me being the biggest bitch ever, going from basically a girl trying to talk to me about marrying her and telling me I was perfect (EW) to being a LJBF cuckolded bitch boy. Seriously, it's that damn bad.
It all starts, I meet the girl. We hang out, go on a couple dates, I EASILY have the ability to kiss her. I do not. She's scared of touching so she isn't as touchy as she could be. That being said, we're still friendly, close, etc, and she gets closer and closer to me. Eventually, after a few weeks, we fuck. Again, we haven't even kissed. And we don't, ever.
We fuck a few more times, and she keeps going on about dating me, how awesome I am, how her family likes me, etc.
I keep rejecting her, etc, because A) I'm terrified of the girl B) I really quite like her.
Anyway, she meets some random 35 year old part time employee at Target (I am a 26 year old office worker, she is a 25 year old unemployed student). This is about 4-5 months after we've been hanging out - honestly we should have been dating.
She picks him up quickly, starts hanging out with him all the time, tells me she won't fuck me anymore because of a lack of emotional connection.
Here's where I go all AFC (that's the term used, I believe, for being a bitch).
I start to tell her I miss her, subtly, trying to get her attention back.
I give her a very expensive present.
Note, never, in any of this, is me telling her I like her, want her or want to fuck her brains out.
She starts fucking the other dude around the time I give her the expensive present. She says I'm trying to win points back from the other guy. ONLY AT THIS POINT DO I ADMIT TO IT.
She tells me LJBF. I tell her "Ok, well I am going to back off some if we do that" (probably a good thing to do), as a few days later she is trying to hang out with me all the time, etc.
I get drunk, tell her I love her (I don't).
She immediately starts to reject me. About a month later, she starts to get warm again (we're hanging out during this time intermittenly). She starts stroking my hair going on about how she wants a smart guy. I again DON'T MAKE A GOD DAMN MOVE.
After about a week of this, she disappears, says she is dating the other guy, but that she is still looking for a more "intelligent" guy. I get all emo on the inside about her saying she is dating the guy. Then I get all emo in a major way about a week later, outwardly.
She doesn't talk to me for a week.
I tell her I have been ignoring her because I want to back off/get over her.
She initiates a text/SPAM/call blast extremely hard and messages my friend about how I got it in my head to ignore her and how crazy that is.
I finally agree to hang out with her briefly. She gives me another LJBF statement.
Tries to get me to hang out with her all weekend, including seeing the other guy she's been hanging with, something that always makes me INCREDIBLY awkward.
When I bring a girl over, she is all mocking me, insulting me and generally making the girl scared off.
Next weekend, she jumps me in bed, tells me she knows how much I want to fuck her, gives me a hickey (in view of her boyfriend) and a while later bjs her bf close to me (I was in utter shock). She claims to be drunk, later, when this comes up, but she wasn't.
I pretty much start ignoring her for a few weeks, during which time she messages me EVERY GOD DAMN DAY. Apparently her bf also gives me a nickname during this time. She tries to get me to hang out multiple times with her and her bf. Apparently goes on about how she was with me "earlier in the year, right after her brother died, which explains that", basically saying that I was a bitch and how she could ever be caught dead with such a man, etc.
Finally I agree to hang out with her for a trip to Canada. She wants to take the BF. I say no, trying to be in control but coming off bitchy. She claims that I am afraid of his masculinity (he isn't very masculine, but if you've read all this, I haven't been acting much that way either). Starts taking about how well he f-ed her, while we're in the car. Tells me she likes to do it because it's awkward for me.
Tickles my back as I am dropping her off.
TL; dr:
So, basically, I want to avoid EVER BEING IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS EVER AGAIN (I have little hope of this situation being solved)
What techniques, mental ones, are good to help keep aware of when trying to escalate to a relationship? Like, how do I prevent liking a girl too much? Is there a way besides multiple girls? Because I do that now (or did before this one) and it seemed to work.
This girl in particular obviously believes I am a bitch, but also seems unwilling to let me go, or perhaps wants the challenge of keeping me strung along. Perhaps it is because I rejected her for months, initially. Perhaps it is because she is an attention whore.
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