I'll give a quick background story and ask my question. This girl that is going to the club tonight is somewhat of a one-itis except she's kind of not. I've known her for two and a half years and been in the friend zone most of the time. Well on my birthday this past summer we all went out got drunk and I grabbed her when we were alone and started kissing her because IOI's were everywhere. Well now I'm out of the friendzone, but since then we haven't talked much. She rarely responds to text messages and phone calls (she's like this with a lot of people, not just me) and last time I think I blew it when a few of us went to galveston (back in august) and kept trying to kiss her and somewhere in that trip felt like I blew it. So I rarely talk to her or see her since then. Well now, we've been talking over text a little bit and see her randomly at the bar with friends. I tried to get her to go to the wed night club out here last week but she couldn't make it cause her sister didn't want to go, and this morning I get a text and this is how our small conversation went:

Babe: Going to the club tonight?

Me: That sounds like a good idea

Babe: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll go

Me: Well good, its an unofficial date =) See you then! ***this is something I normally wouldn't say, had to put aside my insecurities and fear***

Babe: Lol okie dokie

My question is how should I be tonight at the club tonight? We have a past so we know each other, I want to change my mood to more confident slightly cocky attitude with her who leaves and comes back constantly, buy her a few shots, and try to have a good time (assuming no cock blocks are there) Are neg's in the game plan still after knowing someone and kissing someone still? I'm still reading the newbie section for lots of good advice, just wanted to nothing if there was anything specific I should try for this situation. Thanks!

one thing i used on a girl that may work in this situation is referring to her as your "fake date".
i used this on a girl i was friends with but had yet to close

this seemed to get her jealousy to spike
and when she would see me hitting on, having fun with and dancing with other girls
she came over and would say things like "hey ur supposed to my date!"

and id reply: "no i thought u were my Fake date. If you want to be my REAL date you have to earn it!"

her: "ok how do i do that"

and heres where u can get creative with ur reply
but i used: "well u can start with a beer - and finish with a kiss. But you only get to kiss me for 10 seconds with NO TONGUE"

THIS DROVE HER CRAZY! and she COULD NOT kiss me without tongue
so i told her i had to punish her later - and i did hahahaha
o man that was a fun night

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In addition to PU, I also offer my experience with psychological disorders (OCD, Depression, etc.) to the communitiy. Feel free to ask for help/advice via PM.
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Love many>Trust few>Do wrong to none
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ACE

Ok, first of all, you "tried to kiss her", which was not good.

Then, on the text, you say, "it's an unofficial date". Again, not good.

Now, tonight, you plan to "buy her a few shots."

Man, AFC behavior ALL AROUND. I really doubt that tonight will change any of that for you or her perception of you. I don't even know if she will be there. Regardless of whether she is or not, YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON OTHER GIRLS. You REALLY want her to want you? FOCUS ON OTHER GIRLS. DON'T EVEN GAME HER TONIGHT.

really? Well i know I messed up with kissing her without any IOI's except earlier the morning we woke up, found myself laying next to her in bed holding her hand. Well thats when most of her inhibitions are gone, in the morning, like for most people.

the "unofficial date", well I was joking/flirting with her. What is an example of what I should have said?

So, don't plan on buying any drinks for her? Thanks for the advice btw

I think your a couple of steps ahead of me on that one. But smooth, I like it.

I have to strongly second that.

And your txt interaction:

Babe: Going to the club tonight?

Me: That sounds like a good idea

Babe: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll go

Sounds to me like she was in control. She asked you if you
were going and then you responded like she was the one doing
the inviting. Then she says, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll go", which
IMHO holds a high possibility she will flake. She gave herself a
way out.

I think you need to lead, be in control, and already be busy
before she even asks.

Babe: Going to the club tonight?

You: Yep, meeting some friends there 10-ish.

I'm sure there's a better response, but that's the general idea.

Before taking anything I suggest too seriously, note that I am new to this as well, and am only half way through Strauss' book...and no where near close to absorbing all the info in this forum.

Tripp suggested what I would think would be dead-one stuff. Judging by the little history story you gave, it sounds like you need to spend more than just one night pulling away from her. She seems to be quite comfortable holding that leash...I think you need to make it obvious you aren't there for her. You need to be a "hell-ova-good-time" w/ a group of other people...but in HER sight. You're not going to completely ignore her, but you aren't going to let her control your evening.

As of where I am in the learning process, that's what I'd do. Those with more experience...please shoot me down if I'm dead wrong : )

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~Smirks

Your right...the thing with this girl is she pretty good looking, great personality, and can pretty much have any guy she wants. She almost always has one of her two ex-boyfriends with her which act as a huge CB. So I don't think hanging out with other girls will spark up any jealousy in the slightest bit. Like I said, its rare to get a conversation going with her even over text. But she is quite flirty when she has had a few drinks and if I move out of the circle to go talk to someone else another guy moves in and will take my place. I"ll just wait to feel it out tonight. I usually act like a hard-ass around her and don't give her the attention which most people do.

jp23, in that instance, you shouldn't have said anything about a date. possibly just something simple like, "I'll see you there". That's it.

And, I don't see you acting like a hard ass around her, not considering what you've told us and the text you relayed. If you're a hard ass around her, that would come out in those areas.

Yes, you should STILL take your focus off of her and put it on other girls. Let me tell you something . . . if you hit if off with another HB and things are going great, if this girl has ANY interest whatsoever, she WILL notice, believe me. If she doesn't notice, then you're just wasting your time anyway.

I'll give it a try. Usually if its one on one, I'll talk fine with her but when there's a bunch of other people around is when I keep her distant. Like when we go out to eat at where she works, didn't notice her, didn't give eye contact, waited till she came to say something to us. So since the trip in august, I've been that way around her mostly. But I'll fill ya'll in on how it goes. My ex-girlfriend will be there too which will make it all the more interesting. And ya'll are right, she is a flake.

LATripp is right man...


you shouldnt have mentioned the word date... but you can recover on the other two...



you tried to kiss her, so what... it happens in time you wont make mistakes like that anymore...in time they will be beggin for them to kiss you...and other girls will be jealous because they are not kissing you... have faith this will happen... you just need to do your homework...


NOT gaming her all night? I disagree stick and move kid... if she does indeed show up... dont approach her right away... go about your buisness hang with your crew agaqin like LAtripp said your focus all night will be other girls... entertain them... let her see you enetertain them... let her them laughing and smiling in your presence... make her feel like she is missing out... then go over and say hi, glad you made it if i get bored with my current date, i made to bring you up from the minors if you are lucky... then get out of there, but as you are leaving tell her you will be back and you will be expecting a shot...(your favorite shot) ... later when you go back say wheres my shot? if she doesnt buy you one, be like ohhh i see you are just playing goldigger on me and trying to score free drinks, but you cant even get me a shot...

most likely she would crumble in this situation and buy you a shot... if she doesnt she is a selfish broad and IF SHE DOESNT buy you a shot... walk away..shes gone..and i dont mean for the night.. i mean FOREVER...

NOW if she DOES buy you a shot take the shot and say i have to get back to my real date... i owe you a shot (its ok to buy her one because she bought you one) whenever you want to collect come find me...

NOW you have swung the situation in your favor and if she comes over say, now are you just here for the free drink or was it my moonwalk that you culdnt resist....you can figure the rest out from there

and if she doesnt come over... hey you got a free shot!!!

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SHURGS




add me on myspace www.myspace.com/jshurgs

Thanks Shurgs, too bad I didn't get it till this morning. Well here is a summary of the night.

Showed up with some friends, went to the back bar to get a drink with my boy, saw HB and her sister, hugged them both and told them I was going to get a drink. Ran into each other a few more times walking around. She's grabbing my arm as we walk past each other and exchange looks and small comments. Her ex-b/f shows up (who is also a friend of mine, but she is free game) which doesn't help. My friend and I were going to the bar, saw them ordering shots, we ordered two more for us and took shots with them.
Then I ordered the HB's sister and her friend two buttery nipple shots (we exchange shots all the time), HB turns around and looks offended I didn't buy her a shot because she was talking to some other guys. Kept the whole "stick n go" in action then towards the end we're all in the same area. She's getting drunk and being all flirty with several guys. Then towards the end of the night she's not feeling good and her sister is taking her home. I walk them both to their car, kind of have my arm around her half the time and holding her hand half the time. As she gets to the car she goes in to give me a kiss on the cheek but she turned it to a peck on the lips, talked for a few more seconds, then kissed her on the lips (peck) again. Nothing great but first time I kissed her since "i tried" in august. She told me to call her to hang out this weekend and text her when I get home and I just said, "by the time I get home, you'll passed out. " Like I said she's really flaky and says that kind of stuff all the time just to be nice to most people. But then again, anything that happened after she was drunk doesn't really count IMO.

BTW, the whole tried thing meant we kissed it just didn't seem mutual

Funny thing while we were at the bar these two hot chicks came to the bar right next to us and just standing there. The HB's sister said I should go talk to them along with my roommate so being a chicken shit to total hot strangers, I hesitated and thought of an opener that I read on the forum yesterday. Talk about crash and burn but hey, I'm looking to build my confidence in talking to random girls. Remind me to start with the fat chicks though, cause the hot ones with the amazing chest aren't such good starters


I was big on the stick n go like I usually am. I was telling HB and her sister about a sushi bar on the weekends, telling them I might be going and leaving it open for them to come without a direct invite.

Kind of funny but irrelevant:
Woke up early this morning and got 2 text messages from her after I woke up:

HB: ewww I feel like crap! I took too many shots last night and I started my period! Eww!

HB: omg!!! that was supposed to be sent to Lisa! Lol so embarrassing



lol, it sparked a little conversation