I have been reading about this PUA stuff for a few weeks now, and I implanted some of the techniques and ideas in the material to people I know IRL and I can positively say that it does help, however, I have not yet started to "Sarge" and attract random women, thus I have some questions.

1) I would assume that in a club/party, one of the main things a girl would want to do is dance. I would feel as dancing is a whole new skill-set on it's own, and besides grinding (which just requires the male to move his hips around) that it may be more challenging. It seems from all the material that I read, it never talks about dancing, which is one of the main reasons one goes to a party, how do these PUA avoid this, especially if a girl asks out "Do You Want To Dance?"

2) Sometimes you might get a girl attracted to you, but find out that she is there with a boyfriend or something who isn't "nice" How would one disarm a boyfriend that is actually threatening you? Going w/ a group of your own friends who are equally "tough" may help, but you don't go to a party to fight, you go to have fun, so what do you guys suggest?

I will probably come up w/ more questions before I begin my first "sarge" (which will be this weekend hopefully) but for now, those have been 2 main concerns.

Im new to but heres my advice.

1) Get a couple of dancing lessons, if only to have a brief overview. If the girl asks you to dance, then at the very least shes interested in you. Tell her you'l dance if she teaches you how.

2) amog destroyer, use the search button. or take up karate or boxing. keeping in mind that its better to dissarm the situation without violance because if you hurt the bf she will take his side.

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"Do or do not. There is no try." ~Yoda

1) If you can't dance, then learn. Its a fairly necissary skill in life, not just pickup. Watch movies with dancing in them. Dirty Dancing is a terrible movie imo, but its got some half decent dancing in it, look for others. Look at some videos on youtube. Watch other people at the clubs and then take a couple nights to just hit the club with a couple friends to make it more comfortable and just go dance. Get out there and be alpha. Feel confident and don't care what others think, just do what you've seen others do and then just make your own style depending on how it feels. If it doesn't feel right, I can tell you it doesn't look right.

2) You don't do anything that she doesn't want you to do and you don't start doing anything that will get your ass kicked if a bf is nearby. Aside from that, if you're coming on strong enough that a bf is going to have to kick your ass to get you to back off, then your game is probably not calibrated well.

Recently one of my roomates had a friend come through town and he stayed with us for the night. We played some drinking games and became friends. He came back through town about a week later, but this time with a girl that was introduced as his gf, although they never demonstrated any serious relationship characteristics. I started off just being me and acting alpha and just practicing conversing good and everything you should do in good game, but not trying to get her. Then I started to notice IOIs and then she was throwing heavy IOIs, even right in front of her bf. I wasn't saying anything that looked like I was trying to get her, which is why she was so attracted, but the guy couldn't tell me to stop just being me, just because she's more attracted to me.

Hopefully you understand what I'm getting at. IMO the best way to get a girl with a bf, is to just act totally chill and make her come after you, I personally like this approach on a lot of girls, but not all.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Well I am not trying to steal girls from guys who already have girls (tongue twister?), but I just wanted to know what I should do if the situation arises.

Although I have never seriously "danced" I am sure it isn't something that I should worry too much about, and yes, I can always spin it on the girl to make her teach me (if done playfully, it could lead to some accidental touching I presume, except, she might feel in control if she gets to say what I need to do)

Well, you sounded worried about it, so if you have no clue, I'd recommend studying up some. There's no shame in wanting to be better at something and so looking into it. People will only make fun of you for it if you're not confident about learning it as well. If you want to learn, they'll be happy for you and help you if they can.

As for stealing guys gfs. That wasn't my point. My point was that you're afraid some guy is going to show up and go, "YOU BASTARD!!! LEAVE HER ALONE!!!" and punch you in the face (at least that's how you sounded. Again I think maybe you just need to work on your confidence, its affecting how you word your questions). If he's not right there with her, then either he's alpha enough that he doesn't have to worry about her heart straying and she'll let you know soon enough and he'll respect her to do that, so won't beat you up, he'll let her tell you she's taken. If he's an afc, then she'll end up more attracted to you if you run good game and then she'll probably discreetly hook up with you. If she's not more attracted to you, then she'll let you know and he won't beat you up. If something vastly different happens and the guy tries to beat you up, then either you were too obvious in your game and you need to recalibrate, or he's an asshole and you can't be afraid to step out the door because people like that exist. In The Game, Mystery talks down an army guy or something like that, with a gun, simply by talking. There's almost always a way around violence, so don't fear the possibility, or you're never gonna leave the house.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I appreciate the time you spent on replying. I am pretty confident in myself (prior to even learning about the PUA Community recently) so I am not afraid of what the future holds, my purpose of this thread was just to find out how I should act if such events that I am not familiar with happening, actually occur. It's good to be prepared for everything, especially if those with experience are giving you some insight.

Regardless, I appreciate your responses, I just want you to know that It wasn't meant to come off as I am not confident enough in my own abilities (even though you may have not been implying that) rather, I wanted to get the opinion of someone who already has more experience then me in this field.

Yeah, being prepared is the way to be, just remember that its an adventure and you're not always going to be prepared. That's why I recommend a style of game that passes under the radar and you don't run those risks of upsetting people, but can still have great success. There's many styles though.

I'm glad to hear you're confident, its one of the things many people starting out have to overcome. I myself still get that "can I really do this?" feeling before an approach, but I just tell it to shut up until I'm totally confident in my abilities by having experienced enough proof.

What you may want to do is look at the way you phrase things and then think about how you could reword them to be more alpha and not sound quite so unconfident. You may be as confident as humanly possible, but if you sound like you are afraid that you offended people, or that you worry what they are thinking about you (sorry, but those are both things I felt while reading your initial post), then you're giving mixed messages and they're going to take what they're getting from your body language, or the subtext of what you're saying, over the actual words. So you need to learn how to phrase those words in such a way, that people don't start second guessing their nature.

Its like L.A. Tripp's sig:

AFC guy "Could you come here"

PUA "Come here"

Or something very similar.

Don't take this as being harsh, Style himself took voice classes as well as others in order to improve how he came across to people. Merely my constructive criticism.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Well, if you wanna know the truth, the main reason I didn't act more direct is because I am new to this forums and wanted to show a degree of some respect

But then I forgot, this is the internet, not school

I understand what you mean. I think this is a skill I only picked up recently with studying pickup actually. Basically people usually prostrate themselves instead of people that are considered to know more, or to have higher status in any way. But that's demonstrating lower value (DHV) and that's not something a PUA can afford to do, so instead you learn to show respect, while still maintaining your status, instead of lowering your status, to make them seem greater than they truly are. After all, we're all just people.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Here's my sig for you to benefit from

AS FOR THE DANCING I FOUND THIS OUT

90% OF PEOPLE AT THE CLUB CANT DANCE EITHER

IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOU LOOK LIKE AN ASS BECAUSE CHANCES ARE EVERYONE ELSE DOES TOO

BUT I RECOMMEND TAKIN LESSONS BUT UNTIL THEN DONT WORRY ABOUT JUST HAVE FUN

IF YOUVE INTRIGUED A GIRL ENOUGH SHE WONT FUCKIN CARE ABOUT YOUR DANCING

Dancing lessons are great and gives you some added style to just how you walk and stand, but it doesn't help much in a club. You an incorporate some cool moves, but most of the time, club dancing isn't anything like any class you're gonna find. Its freestyle, just play some music in your room real loud and learn how it is that you feel good moving. You'll look stupid at first, but after a while, you learn what feels right and what doesn't. Like I said, if it feels wrong, then it looks wrong, so practice.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Or how about this, f the whole dancing thing. Most guys on the dance floor are there to get a couple quick cheap feels... Do you see them really getting anywhere else... From what you have read on being a PUA, have you heard much about anything to do with the dance floor... How could you game there anyway? I say f it, I have to many people to meet, I can't waste time out there, shit, shit may start to dance with you and then end it with someone else. The game is about confidence, if you dont have it on the dance floor, then why go there. If you want to dance, learn from your pivot, and just do it for fun.

Sorry long winded there

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add me - http://www.myspace.com/mazal

Ummm, you . . . can . . . run game on the dance floor, and then move it off the dance floor. I have girls that dance with me, follow me off the dance floor, and if I'm back out there later, they look for me again. They want to be around me. Hell, I've had them dance with me off the dance floor, just to be up against me and kino me.