I'm new here and hope this posting has found the correct location. I am looking for some help in responding to situations where I'm given a hard time because I don't drink alcohol. (I don't due to a liver condition)

I generally play it off as I'm the driver but that response gets old. I've had some success negging women that have been or will be overserved. I don't want to reveal the health issue as it is a DLV. Any other creative responses are appreciated.

Do you enjoy any pshysical activities like swimming or anything?

For example, I'm a runner. when people ask me how come I'm not drinking, I say cuz it'll get in the way of my training (alchohol slows down muscle repair and disturbs sleeping patterns), then I'd talk about how I'm trying to beat my best time or yaddas yaddas yadda. then drop it and move on to another subject. nonchalantly

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sounds good as i can flip it into a DHV. thank you.

you can also go to the extreme and tell her you're training on the Olympic bobsledding team and will be kicked off the team if you drink..

also something like "every time i drink, you ladies take advantage of me... i'm just seeing what happens when i don't drink..

or just be honest and tell them.. that small bit won't make the different on you messing up a sarge unless you take it to heart.. then it'll make you look bad

good luck man

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I'm an asshole and I approve this message

"I swear to tell you the whole truth, nothing but the blunt truth, so help your ego" i only sugarcoat things for women

My favorite commercial ever http://youtube.com/watch?v=TpxKYkcFRWk

What? that is indeed some bs. I don't drink either, and when some hbs get curious i just tell them that it's never been apart of my self quota, but i also inform them that girls who drink alot are always welcome.

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i lust for jessica alba, but now since she is preggers. I am lusting for Nicole!!! It's New Year's Day. It was Ben Franklin who said, "Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man."

I bring it up myself:

me: What are you drinking?
hb: Blah blah chick drink blah blah. Why, what are you drinking?
me: This? Oh it's straight absynthe. It's all I drink now. Here, try some!
hb: Ok...This is just water!
me: Jesus, woman, how much of an alcoholic are you?!
hb: (laugh/playful kino) I don't drink that much!
me: Alright, I can't lie to you. It's not absynthe. It's roofies (stare into her eyes and take a long sip). By the way, I have a pretty high tolerance for this stuff so you should probably wait a few minutes before you try to take advantage of me.
etc etc etc

Other responses to "why aren't you drinking?":
-Don't tell me you don't know about the water here! Have you met Thomas*, the owner? He flies in crates of Artesian water every other day! And here you are fooled into drinking alcohol.
-I gave up drinking in Tokyo. Long story. Many dead samurai.
-Look, if you just want to get me drunk so that you can take advantage of me, you should know that I'm not that easy.
-I'm not supposed to drink before a photo shoot.
-I need to be sober for my sunrise duel with the Archduke of Lancaster.
-The last time I drank I woke up naked handcuffed to a bench underneath the Eiffel Tower with the Medici family crest painted on stomach. So until you can convince me that tonight is going to be that interesting, I'm going to stick with my water.
-etc etc

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Howard Roark laughed.