LTR - she can't decide if she can commit



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 4:55 am 
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Hey guys. I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years now. We have been doing long distance (2,000 miles apart) for about 10 months now. And I have a job interview tomorrow with a company in her town - I would be relocating there. And she doesn't know if she even wants to commit to making out relationship work. Yes there have been some rough times with the distance and I understand if she's not feeling the spark. If I could at least understand that she wanted to be committed to making it work I wouldn't feel like we are wasting each others time.

I don't really know what to think I just feel kinda hurt and pissed. Any advice guys?


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 9:28 am 
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yeah, dump her fuckin ass

and don't take that job just to be near her

if after two years, she isn't FUCKING EXPLODING FROM EXCITEMENT at the thought of you being with her,

it ain't gonna work buddy

you been foolin yourself.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 11:52 am 
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Believe me those thoughts have crossed my mind. She says she doesn't feel love unless I'm there with her, touching her. Maybe she is just feelin wounded. Fuck I aim not going to think for her.

I've already done my research on living there and the west coast seems like an awesome place for this Midwest guy to relocate. The only bad thing is I don't have many conections in the area.

Time to shit or get off the pot ...


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 3:53 am 
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I'm all for trying to help people with getting their relationships to work, but in this case I agree with Mack.

If she wanted to be in a relationship with you, then she would be begging you to take that job so the two of you could be together.

Sometimes you just have to face the truth, no matter how much you don't want to believe it.

And don't ever drive yourself crazy over women's words. Words are just words, and half the time they don't know what the hell they are talking about anyway. They are emotional creatures and often illogical. when there is incongruity between their words and their actions, we as men tend to sit there and over-analyze it and say to ourselves "but she said this!" Actions speak louder than words. Words are often spoken out of emotion and emotions change. Never forget that.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 8:24 am 
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Guys I truely am feeling just a lot of damage and hurt and I know she is feeling it too. I was offered the job - it's a better paying job in a great city. The down side is it's 2000 miles from most of my family. Likely, it wont work out between me and her. She has offered me to stay with her family until I get things settled. Part of me feels like this is my chance to get out of the Midwest with a better paying job and the other part of me is feeling this impending doom in our relationship. Not really sure what to do guys.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:19 pm 
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If you have the opportunity for a great new job, a great new location, and a LIFE changing experience, why not take it?

Don't even worry about the old GF. Start new! You'll be forced to go out and MAKE connections. Having no one means you'll be driven to meet people.

Have you read "Get Laid Or Die Trying" by Jeff Allen (JLAIX)?

He has the opportunity to go to Spain, does it, and it works out quite nicely.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 10:25 pm 
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Quote:
If you have the opportunity for a great new job, a great new location, and a LIFE changing experience, why not take it?

Don't even worry about the old GF. Start new! You'll be forced to go out and MAKE connections. Having no one means you'll be driven to meet people.

Have you read "Get Laid Or Die Trying" by Jeff Allen (JLAIX)?

He has the opportunity to go to Spain, does it, and it works out quite nicely.
I wouldn't advice anybody to go to Spain right now actually :D


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:00 pm 
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Dump her if she cant give you what you want.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 1:30 am 
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There is a lot of good advice here...I’d be wise to heed it.

Long distance relationships require more work than any regular relationship...no need to touch on the obvious, Trust. Granted you have been in this for quite some time, as said, if she isn't excited at the thought, there is either no desire or someone else...either way...no need to fret over this...find someone in your town, you will feel better about the relationship and it will be more fulfilling in the long run.

Good luck to you…you’ll be over this soon if you choose to be…be with friends or make it a point to start a new.

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You can't make the same mistake twice, the second time you make it, it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 11:00 am 
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It's quite clear you aren't terribly important to her.

So count your losses and move on.

It's absurd that your GF isn't excited to live with you after having to "miss" you all that time (but i doubt she really missed you).


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 5:21 am 
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I am moving there in a weeks time so really too late to back out now. I've put in my time at work and made arrangements to move out there. Feels a little crazy but I am really looking forward to living in Portland.

We had been fighting a lot so we agreed to be friends until I got out there then we would see how things are working. I will be living with her for about a month while I'm looking for a place. Let me know if you guys have any advice on this one.

I will see how things go when I get there. I'm really looking forward to the adventure; I have really out grown my college town. Plus I will get see if it was the distance or we are no good for each other.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 11:18 am 
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You shouldn't beg her to be with you, because that's not a relationship. She lost attraction, because of the distance and that's why she isn't very happy, that you want to move there. So, forget about her, because there are millions of fish in the sea. If she is still attracted to you, then you might win her back. If you want to find out how, visit http://seduceandattract.blogspot.com/. If she doesn't get closer to you, then learn from http://seduceandattract.blogspot.com/, how to attract girls and how to improve your inner-game.


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