Just a thought, what would have happened if you told her that you'd prefer it to be just the two of you? Are you in it for the girl or are you in it for the socializing? If you are in it for the girl, then let her know that subtly, set the frame and if she bails, the less time wasted. Why did she freak out at the last minute and want to bring a friend? What was her intial reason for bailing, and how does bringing a random guy (with little to no prior notice) make it easier to come to breakfast with you? Was it because she was nervous/shy, or was it because she wanted to feel you out, to see if you were trying to make a date out of it? Was it another form of shit test? Did you pass?
Did this girl shit test the hell out of you, make out with tons of random guys and mercilessly send you mixed signals over the course of your friendship?

Daniel, you just spoke of taking responsibility in your orignal "lets meet up" txt message. Then, when the opportunity to make your intentions clear arises the day of, you become uncalibrated and end up going on a play date with some new friends. Not that the outcome was all that bad, and if that is what you inteded to do, then good for you. but...this is a PU forum and you are it's #1 pimp in training, I think maybe you might have intended to set up a date to try to get laid.

Act out of intent when dealing with this sort of stuff. You're not going to come off "creepy" for telling a girl you want to be alone with her on the date you suggested the two of you go on. Te worst response you could get wouldto the effect of "I'm not interested in dating yo" to which you could reply "That's alright, we can still be friends". Everything is out on the table and you now know where to focus your energy. It is important to remember that weeding out potential time wasters is going to lead to more success with women. Being dominating and purposful in your courtship makes you more attractive to women. Clear intentions lead you on your desired path.

Her:"I can't make it"
You: "I am almost there, you have no choice"
Her: "Nope, not coming"
You: "Fine, more breakfast for me, do you know any cute girls I can take out for breakfast?"
Her: "Shut up, fine I will come, but I am bringing another guy that I am shit testing"
You: "Oh, That's a dumb idea, How many people are following HIS thread on line? cuz I am sort of a big deal"
Her: "None, he sucks, you're right, lets go on a fucking date, I just wanted to make sure you wanted me"
You: "I knew it"

@bbardot.

My message was far from perfect I know. I realized that just after sending it. As you understood, no worries since I'm focusing in being social It was more on opportunity to reconnect with her and revive this social circle. Now, on another note, I'm having hard time calibrating with her... we don't understand each other very well I confess... but I was good at the dinner... I was talkative, passionate and enjoying myself... Does she think I'm interested? Maybe... but I'm not clear about it at all... on the contrary (for the worse or the better). Yet, she's the one asking for my number and wanting to do something together.

@Insert.
Hey Insert, thanks for commenting. The thing since she's almost canceled everything I didn't wanted to jeopardize everything and "play it cool" (but yeah, that was a failure :p). At the beginning, I wanted to be a bit more cocky and answer something like "wait? do you think it's date? lol" but I'm not sure it would have been better.

My main goal for now is socializing. But as you said, she freaked out at the last moment. I was afraid to have some pressure but in the end, I was relaxed as hell since I didn't have this whole PUA stuff in my head. I just wanted to see her again and have a good time. Maybe, she was the one under pressure. But it was early in the morning (10am) so coming with someone was strange since her basic excuse was that she was too tired to come. On another note, she's has already been more than three hours alone with me for three hours in São Paulo. So yeah I don't really understand but whatever. If it was a shit test, I would say I passed. In the end I got her friends number so we could go to the Technoparade this Saturday (she can't come).

When I've met this girls for the first time, I didn't even notice her. It was a small carnival in São Paulo... I've approached two Brazilian chick in the street and was enjoying the carnival with them. I was the center of attention that day. After that, I noticed she started to shit test me a lot. We learned we had some stuff in common. At parties, she used to make out a lot with other guys... which confused me a little. I've never really been into her... but she definitely like having guys' attention.

Again my goal was to be social and have people to go out with. Yet, if I would have been alone with her, I would have escalated a indeed. I've seeded another event with her though. So I'll see here again pretty quickly. I'm not worried about all this.
You're making a point here. I will do a small sarge session focusing on being direct to practice. It's been in my plan for some time now. I'll do it before the end of this month. This has been a sticking point for me. I've been good at that with a German girl when I was in São Paulo. I managed to kiss her and she even asked me if I was in love with her (?! lol). But you know, all this PUA stuff (don't give her the power, don't show too much interest, push pull, ...) makes me a retarded sometimes. My success with the girls in Brazil came because I've been direct.

_________________
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(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

I am wondering if you can define for me what you think a shit test is? do you think it means having your balls busted? In my opinion, that is flirting. Shit testing is when a women puts you in an awkward situation, either conciously or unconciously, to see how you react. If you react like a man, i.e. state your intentions, control the outcome, make the point made that YOU are the man and YOU are in control, then you pass. If you react by taking the friendliest, easiest way out, you come off like a friendly guy who may or may not want to procreate with her...you fail. She may not even know WHY she felt the need to blow you off, or the need to see if you would let her bring her friend. But, the fact remains, if you would have told her she has to come because you want her, subtly of course, well, no harm done.

Direct "game" or indirect "game" or push and pull, cocky funny are all ways of explaining what makes this chemistry between men and women work. These aren't techniques, these are just different facets of the natural interactions between men and women. you can try to understand them, work on using them at the right times, but for the most part, it is still just you out there. If you come off contrived when using too much cocky funny, or using direct game out of context, well that is not "you" persay, that is fabrication. When I say act out of intent, I mean you need to know what your intentions are and try your best to push the outcome of your interactions in that direction.

Point being, I am not saying "Go direct game some bitches" I am saying go out there with the clear intent of getting laid, not the wishy washy intent of "taking what you get". If you don't get what you intend to get, then walk away, and try elsewhere.

You obviously have the ability to convince good looking women to want you. It has already happened, the reason it hasn't happened more often is simply because you let the interaction get away on you, it leads you. "If you don't want me then move out of my way, so I can find the girl who does"

@Insert.

Women want to mate a dominant man. The shit tests are just a way to test the man they're interacting with in order to see if he is man enough to mate them. I would say it's part of the basics of attraction. It's flirting in many senses. Passing the test basically show them that you are the dominant man they're looking for. Yes, sometimes it's about crushing you balls unfortunately.

Now you're right, and I thank you for the insight. Passing a shit test, that is to say reaction like a man, is stating your intention and keeping control towards that goal. I've had hard time with shit test but I'm starting to get it better.
True, guess I didn't really know what I wanted. But again, I don't really care. My main goal is to focus on my lifestyle and especially reviving my social circle since it does bring a lot of confidence to have fun with friends.
Correct, most of the time I don't have the intent of getting laid. I don't know if it's just a habit I need to get, or just that I am not like that. Yet, I can't help thinking, I could have had a lot more girls if I had this in mind all the time. I need to be a bit more aggressive, go for it more, don't let the interaction leads me as you said. Having an clear intent and going for it.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

This is a small update about the improvements I've noticed in my life lately.

Job opportunity.
I'm lacking a bit of experience to get the job of my dreams. The one that would make me travel around Europe and in the USA. At the end of the interview, the CEO of the startup asked me to think about the product launch. I thought about it and realized a document for him. I went for it! He thanked me for it and told me that it might take a long time for them to contact me since I was the first to be interviewed. Some days later, he sent me a email about a friend of him working in a communication agency. He needed some help to go viral with videos his agency created for Sony. I'm going to see them on Monday. I'll do a document again and if they find my plan interesting, they'll contract me for a punctual mission. This is great since it will allow me to show what I can do and get experience. I've never done that actually, but the fact that the CEO of the startup spoke about me to one of his friend is a good thing. I think he saw that I knew some stuff about the new marketing, especially the social media part.

This is also something I owe this community. Being able to write a objective down and find a plan to go for it is basically what I've been doing for month now. I'll do my best to achieve the objectives so I can show the CEO of the startup that I can be really helpful for him.

Social interactions.
Still focusing on improving my life and getting an attractive lifestyle, I've been going out a lot lately. I usually try to go out every day, even if it's just to go to the mall next to my house and get some social interactions. I'm way more confident in speaking with strangers. Girls are checking me out a lot now that I think about it. I try to "own" the place I'm going. I've also been seeing my friends and something really cool is happening currently. I noticed more and more girl friends are asking me about my relationship status. They want to know where I'm at. I think they're noticing I'm changing. They're trying to connect more with me.

In a nutshell (for lazy people): I'm already getting the results of my plan. The efforts I've been putting in getting the job are paying and my focus on reviving my social circles is making me way more confident that I used to be. I'm feeling that the foundation of a great game are being built right now.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

DAY 78: having a drink with my high school cruch (again).
Making her cry...

Context.
Last time I saw her, she was so shit testing me that she broke my state. She's just a friend, and even if I wouldn't refuse having sex with her, she is clearly not looking for the same thing. I would even say she's too clingy. Yet, she's a friend and I wanted to go out Friday night. I asked her if she wanted to go have a drink with me. Great opportunity to practice and get experience in framing an interaction with a girl.

Goals.
- Have fun (especially since she speaks a LOT, and sometimes I just get bored).
- Focus on connecting with her, have interesting talk about ourselves.
- Focus on eye contact.
- Diffuse any shit tests.
- Show dominance.

Strategy.
- Have fun: laugh, joke, tease, ... and tell her when she's getting boring or when she talks too much.
- Focus on connecting with her: play a question game, ask personal questions...
- Focus on eye contact: look at her in her eyes.
- Diffuse any shit tests: ignore them.
- Show dominance: take the lead, be the one who control the frame of the interaction.

____________________________________________________________________

Summary (for lazy people): I was really good. I was actually so good at connecting with her that I made her cry at some point. Nothing serious though (hopefully). I managed to connect with her and know a lot about her.

In the car.
I picked her up. She was really interested in the document I gave to the CEO of the startup I was applying at. So I took my computer and showed her the presentation. She recognized Emma Watson from my wallpaper. I was expecting a question or a shit test so I told her "I tried to find a picture of her naked but I didn't find...", she laughed. I was not giving a fuck. She was in a good mood since she found a job... she told me about it without boring me to death.

Going to the bar.
She talks a lot... and she often ends up saying me things twice. I caught her doing it and teased her on that: "damn, you don't even remember what you say to me, that's nice..." (like I was offended). She laughed in a "I'm confused" way. "I always remember stuff you tell me, test me if you want". She asked me some questions about her sister... stuff I was unable to answer actually. We laughed about it and I complained about the fact it was not a question about her but her sister. Teasing and challenging are gold.

The small question game.
Scripted. That was scripted but was damn perfect. I challenged her. "If I can answer your question, you'll be obliged to answer any question I want". Sounds a bit teenager stuff but well. It worked well. It allowed me to connect with her. We learned about each other in a fun way. We were laughing and I was the one bringing fun to the interaction. I learned about her insecurities, how many guys she kissed (more than girls I've kissed damn), what she was looking for in a guy... I also learned that if she could, she would have them now (wtf?).

The thing is, she was liking it so much that we kept going... and we went too far. She ended up talking about how sad her life was... and everything. She dropped a few tears... and I was really surprised. I tried to calm her down. It was not that serious but well... guess she wanted to let herself go that night.

I drove her home and just before going out of the car she told me how good it was to see me. I replied: "that's what most of the girls say"... She laughed and tell me she didn't like arrogant guys. "what about guys with a great sense of humor?" I left.

____________________________________________________________________

On the strategy.
- Have fun: teasing and challenging her worked really well, I had fun and made her laugh a lot.
- Focus on connecting with her: the questions game went well, I got to know her better and vice versa.
- Focus on eye contact: can't really remember that one... she was walking next to me most of the time.
- Diffuse any shit tests: I didn't get a lot of them (not a good sign in term of attraction) but I was the one challenging her.
- Show dominance: I led the interaction, I was the one bringing the fun in the frame.

On the Game.
- Being prepared makes it easy: I thought about the gambits I could use to break the last "resistance" to connect with her.
- I can avoid boredom and lame frame with some scripted stuff.
- You don't want to be more than friends with some girls, that's the case here.



At some point, she let herself go and cried a little.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

I actually like the last FR a lot more then all the others. Now you need to ask yourself the next questions:

- What is it that made you connect to this girl?
- The intention - has it proven succesful for yourself and as your goal for that night?
- Did the connection feel good to you and why?
- You felt connected, else you wouldn't be able to get lose those emotions inside of her..
Try to find out why?!

Good luck!

≠ LD

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@LyricalDream.

I think this night was a success indeed. I managed to achieve my goals, I broke some barriers. Being prepared and knowing her definitely helped me. I was able to mentally prepare what I wanted to say and even guess her reaction. Yet, I was extremely surprised to discover how she was like every other girls (and people in general)... insecure. I asked question The key element was that I also let her know about myself... I usually don't say a lot of private things about me, this night I did. Guess it makes me more human...

The connection made me feel good indeed. I want to be able to connect easily with girls. Approaching is not enough. Connecting and actually creating memories is the winning combination to avoid flakes and be successful with girls. Not easy with people you've just met though.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

Here is a small update about what I've done this week.

Job opportunity.
I've met the guys from the communication agency to know more about their project. I gave some ideas and we all agreed on meeting again on Wednesday. I spend most of the time working on a social media strategy for them. I went there Wednesday and managed to impress them. I gave them a lot of creative ideas and insight on how to make their project "spreadable". They're going back to the client next week. If the company agrees with the project, they'll probably contract me for a short period.

Yet, this is not the job that I want. I just hope the guys from the communication agency will say positive stuff about my work to the founder of the startup I was originally applying for.

Enjoying life.
I felt the need to go out Thursday. I needed to buy a gift for my sister, it was perfect. I took the train to go to my favorite mall. As a result of my focus on my personal and social lifestyle, I was (and am) feeling really good. I was whistling, swagging, enjoying myself while walking, dancing, taking the train... I just don't give a damn anymore... I'm more and more noticing how depressed some people look like in the transport. Not me... I'm smiling, not stressing about anything... enjoying the time I have on this Earth.

Interacting with HBs
I went to the grocery store of the mall to get a Cherry Coke... as usual. I had a nice interaction with the cashier who was actually really nice. It was a guy but whatever. I was socially warmed up. I also spoke to the guy right after me in the line.

I wanted to buy a Tommy Hilfiger shirt for my sister. I knew what I wanted, so I walked directly to a, hired gun blond HB.
ME - hey, I'd like to buy one of these in S or XS please...
HER - Sure, let me get someone for you (she was busy)
She called a guy to helped me. I asked him the same thing and he went get what I wanted. As the guy was away, I pushed the interaction further with the blond girl. I was confident. BL was good.
ME - Actually I don't really know if I should take S or XS, that's why I was asking you at the beginning...
She was a bit shy I guess.
ME - Anyway, she will be able to exchange it right?
BLONDE GIRL- yes, she have 30 days to exchange it.
ME - nice, guess I'll take the XS, she won't accuse me of thinking that she's fat...
BG - haha (she laughed, I broke the ice here)
BG - ask the cashier to give you a package.
The guy came back, I picked the XS one, thanked the blond and went to the brunette cashier who was at a few steps away.
ME - hi, could I get a package with that please.
BRUNETTE CASHIER - sure, the box a a bit too big though...
ME - ... nah, it's okay... she'll be a bit disappointed but well...
BC - haha, I'll give you the box, you'll do it.
BC - You can still fill the box with some rose petals.
ME - ... hum that's for my sister (looking at her like wtf?)
BC - haha (laughing again)
BC - you know what, I'll do the box for you...
ME - haha, yeah thanks, I was afraid of embarrassing myself...
She was turning her back at me while doing the box.
BC - sorry I'm taking some time to do it...
ME - nah, no worries...
She did the box, gave me a hand bag.
BC - here we go...
ME - Thanks Sonia (I saw her name in the receipt), have a nice day.
I was expecting her to ask me how I knew her name, but she just looked at me surprised...

It's not crazy game obviously, but I was confident, having fun and all... This is what I want, this is a perfect example of natural game I want to have. I bit more ballsy would have been perfect.

On my way out, I helped some Brazilians to buy transport tickets... in Portuguese. Some teenagers were looking at me like I was a god.

Replay.
When she spoke about the rose petals:
- Does you boyfriend actually do that, or is it just a fantasy?
When she excuse herself for taking too much time to do the box:
- Are you putting petals in the box?
- I'm starting to think I would do faster than you (challenging her)

What I've learned.
- Being in the moment is the most important conversation skill.
- Being a bit more ballsy would be useful.
- Having social interaction in a given space, makes you attractive to all the girls in that given space.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

A new small update on the actions I've taken recently to achieve my goal.

Getting a life.
I've just subscribed to a new plan. I can finally call as much as I want. Everything is unlimited: text, MMS, calls, 3G... (for 35€/month without contract) That will help me to improve my social lifestyle... I don't need to worry anymore about how much texting is gonna cost me. On another note, I'm waiting for the communication agency (or the startup) to come back to me. If I don't get the answer I'm waiting for, I'll apply for other jobs. I need to have a fun social circle... I don't have one for now. I need friends to go to party with. I could also use a wingman to hang out with.

Sevilla Lover.
I called her yesterday to offer her to get a breakfast with me. I was confident, I didn't really care about having her in the phone... I was relaxed, spoke a bit with her and asked her: "how about going there this Sunday?". She told me she would call me back to tell me. She didn't call me back. We are Sunday morning. lol. She have to be pretty busy though. I'll see later if we can do that next week. She was a bit nervous on the phone when I think about it. At some point she said "I called you because I wanted to ..." but I was the one actually calling... I can embarrass a solid HB8, good for me.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

I've started reading this from the beginning, and even though I'm not even half way done yet I'ma say it's crazy how much you've improved, and how motivated you are keep it up bro! In fact I think I might start doing a similar journal myself! (you wouldn't mind would you?) good luck and keep it up

Quick Update.

Here's a quick update again on something I'm realizing little by little.

Something is going on.
My focus on building an attractive lifestyle and improve my physical appearance is paying off (ATTRACTIVE LIFESTYLE + PASSIVE ATTRACTION). Something has changed in me. I'm not insecure anymore... I'm proud of what I am and I enjoy myself. I don't assume girls are not attracted to me unless I do something. I now assume they are attracted to me, and that's a big change. I'm starting to notice how many hot women there are in Paris... I'm realizing some are checking me out. Some of them are even nervous about the simple fact that say "you're welcome" when they thank me.

What's next.
My foundations are good enough for some outer game (ACTIVE ATTRACTION). It's time to take actions. Yet, I don't want to go out and set "approach 5 women" as a goal. I know it's the best way for me to fail. The success WILL come if I make hitting on girls a habit in my daily life. I need to add this to my lifestyle.

The other day, I went to an English bookstore in Paris. That's the kind of place I like to go and would love to meet a girl in. As I got into the store, a girl was heading out. I hold the door for her. She was cute, young (between 18 and 20 I would say)... but cute. As she was passing in front of me, she thanked me and I immediately notice she was a bit nervous. I did nothing though. I just replied "you're welcome" and got into the store. What I'm trying to show with this example, is that hitting on girl is not natural for me. It should be though. It's not about fear of approaching anymore, it's just that I need to fully integrate this to my daily life. Making hitting on girls and habit will make me successful. It's as simple of that.

In a nutshell (for lazy people): My foundations are good enough to start thinking about outer game. It's time to take action. Making hitting on girls a habit in my daily life will make me successful.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

that is so fucking awesome daniel, you are truly evolving as a person, you challenge your comfort zone again and again, some day you should re-read your journey and look at how much you have changed it is truly amazing and inspiring

Quick Update.

Here are some fresh news!

Job Opportunity
I'm now working as a digital strategist and community manager on a project of the communication agency I've been in contact with. It's a small mission. It will last a little bit more than a month... the time to launch the project. It's actually perfect for me. I was not in such a hurry to find a job... this opportunity allows me to get experience and even work from home hopefully. I'll also earn some money out of it obviously.

Having a job has some consequences on my lifestyle obviously. It's good since I'm meeting new people and getting money... but at the same time it takes me a lot of time... This means I need to get even better at organizing my life. If having a job means not having enough time to work out, go out, write in my journal or being too tired to do anything, it's not worth it. On another note, taking the subway during one hour and spending the whole day on the job location don't allow me to be my best when it comes to be good looking!

Daniel..

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

@Slicedtomatoes & @pumpington.

Thanks guys! Thanks for following me and thanks for cheering me up!

Daniel..

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)