What you say is what I thought 100% yesterday. Saw her at work today and she approached me, smiling alot touching my arm, speaking about our "moment" and smiled and whispered in her eye "I wanted to kiss you so bad" and told her "Nobody else was there during that it was just us, we were driving" and she laughed because it was a minivan with few peeps. She was giggling alot, always seems more interested when my head is newly shaven

She kinoed more and I looked around at her and she had some more tears in her eyes nothing much, I walked with her a little bit and went back to work and she rubbed my arm and said cya later and I walked off without doing any kino. She looked back at me like "hmmm" and then later on txt me to see where I was.

I'm not very experienced but here's my advice. There probably is no recovering from this, but here's what I would do. Clearly you've been showing too much interest and that makes you look needy and desperate to women (i've been there too). The first thing you need to do is stop obsessing over her. Stop saying things to her that let her know how you feel about her.

That's seems to be the point of push/pull tactics. Keep her on her toes, keep her wondering about you. Teasing and messing with her to build attraction. Be a playful dick. It's okay to be a dick as long as she know's you're just kidding.

If you work with her why not let her see you talking to other girls. Let her see them talking to you. Have fun with them too, teasing and messing with them. Let her see that you have other girls calling you at work. Have your sister call you at work if you have to (she won't know it's your sister). Trip her jealousy switch. People seem to want what they can't have, not what comes easy. And you were being easy in the past, way too easy.

Reframe the situation. You are the prize not her. Don't put her on a pedestal, or she will start to look look down on you from it. If she puts her self on one, nock her off of it. It seems to me that when I'm more invested in someone than they are me, I don't get anywhere. Make sure that she's more invested than you are.

Don't be her girlfriend who she calls to for advice about what she should do about this guy. Refuse to play that role. I would say to her, "I think you should come over and make out with me, that will take your mind of him". I would say that not real serious like, but with a smile on my face. If she say okay -great. If not then it's her loss -and it's probably time to get off the phone as well because you want to look like you have other things going on, like you have a life. And because you're not going to be her girlfriend.

Sounds to me like you're not good at building attraction. That's an area I need to work on also. I do alright with push and pull and cocky funny (being a playful dick), but I just don't have much to talk about. Nothing interesting, because there's not a lot going on in my life. I think we need interesting things to talk about, stories, routines, little games -something. Something to show that we're fun and interesting. Something to set us apart from other guys.

One more thing I would do. This girls dropping hints that she might leave, and the reason is probably because you are making it too awkward and uncomfortable for her. You are trying too hard, and you are litterly going to run her away. Back off a bit. Stop obsessing and investing. She will see a difference in you. She will see you talking to other girls. She will see that you have a life outside of her.

Then the next time the two of you are alone look her in the eyes and sincerely apologies for your behavior. You weren't getting her anyways so why not try this. Tell her that you realize that you were being desperate and needy, and that you know girls don't like that shit. Tell her that being over weight all your life has really messed with your confidence (which is understandable). Tell her that you realize that you've been kind of obsessing over her and then promise her that you are going to stop all of that. Then say, "it's just that I find you really attractive and sometimes I just don't want to take my eyes off of you". Like a line out of romance novel. Surely that will touch her heart. Then say, "I know I messed up our chances of getting to know each other better, and that really sucks." (Don't say you messed up your chance of getting to know her better as that sounds like she's the prize, say -our chances) Then tell her how you wish you could have learned this lesson before you meet her because girls as attractive as her don't come along very often. This might be a good time to touch her. If you're both sitting down you could put your hand on top of hers for a second, look her in the eyes and say, "so anyways I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable". Then get up and leave the room.

If you have any chance of recovering with this girl it will be because she sees a change in you. So change. You aren't saying the above to make her feel sorry for you, but to make her realize that you understand why she's become so uncomfortable around you to the point where she might leave. (Don't say anything about her leaving though as that might make all this look like a last desperate attempt to get her to stay). She will then realize that you get it, and that you understand the situation and that will make her more comfortable around you, might even keep her from leaving. But, none of this will do you any good if you don't change your ways.

I think this all sounds like sound advice, but then again, I'm a newbie so who knows. This is just what I would do. -good luck.

I thought you said you've been over weight all you life, but I think I might have mixed you up with another post that I read. Sorry about that.

Thanks for that.

lol I got a beer belly but the rest of me is quite acceptable.

At the moment she is stuck between me and her ex boyfriend who she was with for 7 years. So I don't really know if I should pretend he doesn't exist or not. She is way too good for him aswell.

pretend he doesn't exist...
why would you want her to think about him?
If the talk comes about him use 'straw man technique' (straw-man-technique-vt43374.html) or something...
is she would be so good she wouldn't be with him or you, she might be attractive but from what you are saying looks like she is messed up in her head.

From your previous post about her coming to work and showing more interested than usual - I believe that's what happens when you push/pull. You show her a lot of attention she stops valuing it - you stop it, and she wants it back badly...
I bet she wants you attention badly and you need to make it clear its not for free. OR SO I THINK

p.s. Beer belly? WHATTT!!!? Beer has nothing to do with it...

After seeing her cry it made me feel that I mean something and all these other guys she talks to are nothing but then I know if I ask her out on a date she will just make excuses like she always does.

don't ask for a date then. If you have common hobbies make a research of what's happening cool in your city and just tell her that you ARE going there and she should join you because its going to be amazing or smth.
Let's say is she loves rock music and there is an event coming on just tell her that you going to this amazing (exaggerate it) and tell her that she should join you.

If you will ask her directly for a date she might feel like in the corner. And she will think about it as a date. BUT if you ask her for something more fun, then she will have much more difficult time saying no.

Its pretty hard to tell you anything since it sounds that that chick need to pull her shit together...
She should be crying on your shoulder, that's what her gf are for. Don't become her emotional tampon (dunno for whom credit for this term ^^ ).

LET HIM HAVE HER. Please please please zook, this is way too much. Drop this girl, you're focusing your life around her! As a victim of oneitis, I hate to see you go down this way. No matter what "progress" you think you make with her, the next day it's as likely to be completely gone as it is to be there. The best chance you have with this girl is to back off COMPLETELY, let her get back together with her boyfriend, not think about her and work on your inner game and own interests, and she may come running back when her boyfriend fails. There is no better option.

I was thinking of doing that.

Thing is she txts me before work and stuff, so I usually call her, so that's like 3-5 calls a week. You think I should go NC?

After seeing those tears, and knowing me and her have hardly done anything, I can only imagine how good we can be for eachother.

Half of me wants to let her do what she has to do and the other part feels I don't want to stop contacting.

Obviously moving on is too monumental a task for you at this point.

Try this: put her on the bottom of your list of priorities.

Imagine or make it so that you have 10+ things/girls to do. Put this girl in the very back of the line.

I am almost 100% you'll forget about her by your 2nd or 3rd thing/girl.

Girl I been seeing at work for 6 months, well we never really went out properly only a few times because she was still in love with her ex so she didn't want to jump into anything. I tried to give her some time to get over this and made only a few moves on her. We talk often and are good people. She just doesn't like people thinking something is going on at work.

I got annoyed with her recently because she started being funny with me at work, got all uptight because I made a move on her even though she was giving me the signals, invited me to her birthday party a week ago and cancelled last minute my invite(either I didn't sound excited enough or she wasn't serious) and then started putting a picture of some guy on facebook as her profile pic. Today at work was weird, she changed her timetables to avoid me but made some excuse to why she did this.

She approaches me and smiles but I kinda upset and asked her why she got up but she said that she had to go. She said lets sit in this room(away from others) so we did and it was like talking to a new person she was different somehow. Eventually we left and I started kino bumping into her and she started resisting then randomly got this handwash which was on a nearby wall and put it in her hands, she then rubbed it on my forearm as an excuse to touch me.

I laughed and made some joke then she started name calling "freak" "weirdo" I tried to think of something and called her "nutter of the century" which she kinda smirked at since she has bipolar but I didn't mean it personally. I made a few more jokes and asked her if she had any more handwash and she said "It's gone, you had your chance and you blew it".....shit test or not?

She walked off and then I was expecting her to be there at the end of work but she was saying how they might finish earlier where she was or not. I said alright and then she walked through the door gave me a cheeky and flirty smile/grin and waved.[/quote]


Dude you need to show her that you don't care even if you do. I have been in a similar situation before and if she is embarrassed by you or doesn't want to be seen with you then fuck her - her loss. You need to convey that you are confident and outgoing and show her that you aren't bothered whether you see her or not. At the minute she has got you on the 'hook' so you need to be in a position where you can put her on the 'hook'. To me it seems like she wants you when she has nothing better to do. DON'T LET YOURSELF GET SUCKED INTO THIS!! Don't make contact with her - leave her to do that, and when she does send a text or something leave it for an hour or 2 before you respond. Always make her think that you are busy out socialising and what not, even if you are just sat at home watching TV.

You will probably find that you can get her eating out of your hand soon enough - girls always seem to want what they can't have!!

Let me know how it goes!

_________________
Mischief!

I bet this girl sits on the toilet bowl to take a crap just like everyone else

I think you're chasing straws and missing the big point buddy! Bipolar disorder is a serious mental illness and indicates/is a cause of very low self-esteem. You are wasting your time with this girl. She doesn't know what she wants, she isn't in control of herself or her emotions; rather, her emotions rule her.
You are in for a world of pain, get out fast.

Sincerely,
C

A friend of mine dated a girl with bipolar. Seriously, avoid. She was a real hot & cold, mixed signals and then she dumped him in the middle of them being on holiday together. How do you spend your holiday when the girl that dumped you is still with you? real odd behaviour. He was better off without her, 100% she was not worth the effort. Sounds cruel to say it because she could be a really nice girl and all that, and she was hot, but she has to sort out her issues.