So here's the deal: about two days from now, I'm going to college for the 2nd year. My girlfriend is only entering college this year.

Of course, I had to have the LDR conversation, I had it today.

She was the first to talk, saying it was "unlikely to work". I replied that it was certainly not impossible. We are going again out tonight and tomorrow the whole day (Saturday).

What I told her was, and I'm not sure it was a great idea, "tomorrow bring me a list of 10 things why we won't work, and bring the same thing, only with things that say it will work".

I was thinking of approaching this thing as a cute thing, not a serious affair. Like, I could put as number 3 "we don't know each other's favorite ice cream flavor, so we'll just have to wait till next summer "

Do you guys think this was a good idea? I mean, it's our last day together.

The big question is... how should I convince her of going on a LDR?


Some background info:

We live in the same town. The place where I go to college is about 40 miles from where she will go to college. We will still come back to our hometown at weekends, and being so close, we could visit each other anytime.

Now, I know some of you will reply that "I should let her go" or "She isn't demonstrating any interest of pursuing a LDR". But, here's the thing: as a P.U.A., I've come a long way with women. But many times they just wouldn't please me, as I got past the physical attraction.

This girl of mine? She is absolutely EVERYTHING I'm looking for in a girl: besides being beautiful, she's kind, she's smart... I mean, I don't want to talk about her like a goddess, but she's PERFECT FOR ME.

I want to convince her of going on this thing. We still have a lot to share, and I'm positive that with some effort, we can go through it.

Cheers

_________________
"What we're doing is so wrong, and what you're wearing is so right (it's so tight!). But I've never felt better, so I'm going out to get her and I don't care what set of wheels I steal to get there."

Tell her "nothing is impossible and you both could work things out, if both of you want the relationship to last then you both do everything in order for it to last" just don't believe what other people say that "if it's meant to be then it's really meant" and always remember to keep in touch with her the best way to do it is through, text, call, IM's and if she's not that far away then take your time to visit her.









-TheNaturalPlayboy

_________________
Sometimes when i'm with my chick on the low, I'm a flirt.

Use this line that i just wrote.


"nothing is impossible and we could
work things out even though we are apart from each other, if both of us are
willing to work it out together then this love of ours could LAST"





-TheNaturalPlayboy

_________________
Sometimes when i'm with my chick on the low, I'm a flirt.

I've never known of a single LDR to work out , EVER. You're just going to torment yourself if you try

It's worth the risk and try if you really want to save the relationship. just think positive

_________________
Sometimes when i'm with my chick on the low, I'm a flirt.

This isn't even a LDR

I know enough examples of LDR who did work out.


Everything depends on your level of commitment and the amount of effort you want to put in.

LDRs are only "unlikely to work" when one party thinks it will be "unlikely to work."

Barring that, they are merely difficult to establish, but not anywhere near impossible.

Tread carefully. Your girlfriend sounds like she isn't committed to the idea, and she probably won't follow through with it, even if you convince her to try it for now.

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- Lux et Veritas -

Spot on

40 miles is not that far, my gf is about to go to the other side of the world soon for a few months and I think we're going to give the LDR thing a go (wish me luck ).... really if you have a car I don't see how 40 miles would be a deal breaker. Especially if you guys will be in the same town on weekends I don't see why it wouldn't work if you both wanted it to. To me it sounds like she isn't into the idea of keeping it going, first year college she probs wants to be free, completely experience college life which is fair enough. I don't think I'd force the issue if I was in your position, just tell her you think you should stay together and it won't be that hard to make it work, but don't beg her to stay together.

LDR can work and I've seen them work but it really depends on how long you will spend apart and also how committed each of you are to making it work. I think a few months is definitely do-able but anything over 6 months would be really tough.

I don't see how a LDR is going to work especially if the two of you don't have a really long history together. I'm not being negative, I just think it would save you a lot of heart ache.
If shes not pushing for it herself now, how will she be convinced enough to stick with it later when she's all alone on a Friday night and all her girlfriends are on dates? However, 40 miles isnt that bad- that being said it would take a LOT of work.

UPDATE:

I've gone out with her for the afternoon. She seemed very happy, was all kinds of touchy and stuff. When the afternoon was ending ( 7pm or so), she told me we didn't end the talk we started yesterday ( about LDR). I used TheNaturalPlayboy tip and told her that, in a serious way.

But she was all like "Yeah, I know, but I mean I don't wanna say no, but I don't want to say yes like that etc etc"

I assume everything I tell her now will not make any difference. I'll be going out again with her tonight. Is there anyway to make her move the right way?

(Again, thanks for all the replies... but the objective is for her to accept the LDR, cause I really like her, and she definitly feels the same way about me, she just thinks this is complicated).

Cheers

_________________
"What we're doing is so wrong, and what you're wearing is so right (it's so tight!). But I've never felt better, so I'm going out to get her and I don't care what set of wheels I steal to get there."

If you have your heart set on it and then you should do all you can to make your connection with each other as strong as possible. Whatever the two of you have in common , draw on those and use them to create a deeper bond. Doing something exciting and adventurous together can deepen that as well.

This girl isn't doubting about a LTR, she is doubting about a relationship with you at all.

Ok, it's over.

She made up her mind and said no.

I drank like I never did and got into problems i guess that's what it does to a guy...

But yeah it will probably take a week or so to get back on my feet and start again

thanks for all the advice anyway

_________________
"What we're doing is so wrong, and what you're wearing is so right (it's so tight!). But I've never felt better, so I'm going out to get her and I don't care what set of wheels I steal to get there."

Don't feel bad about it she got her own reasons on why she said NO and drinking alcohol isn't the solution and in the next morning you'll feel sick and besides there's plenty of fish in the sea, go out there and have fun and meet other beautiful women that you deserve.. get over it



-TheNaturalPlayboy

_________________
Sometimes when i'm with my chick on the low, I'm a flirt.