Guys,
everything is going good in my LTR. Yet, from the beginning i had one slight issue.


My GF was on erasmus just like me (student exchange program).

She told me once she had sex with 4/5 other guys before me (in 1 year).

This is NOT what bothers me. I mean, she didn't had a boyfriend so was free to do what she want. Nothing wrong with having sex from time to time id say. Just like men.

What bothers me a "little" bit is the following. I got to know this girl for the first time via a friend of me. We talked a few times on some parties/meetings where she was. We also talked a few times on facebook. She clearly knew me, she knew who i was and i know who she was. But we weren't much of friends and we didn't talked a lot either. Very very very superficial.

One time i invited her over to join me and my friend to go to a party. We started drinking some beers before the party and she got quite drunk (not wasted, just good drunk).
I started to dance with her, kino, tease, etc. We kissed the same night. I took her home the same night.

We had a sexual relationship for few months, then we made it official.

THIS bothers me slightly. The fact that she apparently was so easy to take home with me when she was drunk. (ok, she didn't had boyfriend, so she was free to do whatever she likes)

Later she explained me that this period she was kind of "weak", just had some bad experience with a guy. I didn't made a point of it but it made me wonder.

Sometimes i worry what happens if again she gets drunk and i'm not there? Do i have any reason to worry?


You should know that all other aspects are great. Good sex also. Even more: often she cries about how she misses me. "You are so good for me" ; "this is too good to be true". "sometimes i think i am not at your level" , "i love you so so so so much"

she shows that she is COMPLETELY in to me. She is very responsible girl. Studies a lot. Always worries about stuff. No party girl. VERY VERY mature girl. She all the time wants to talk with me. Wants to see me. Goes crazy when we have sex. No red flags at all. Nothing.

But that one thing. The way i took her home that night without too much effort. Should i worry about it?

Am I being insecure?

Thanks for advice. Very much appreciated.

You have no reason to be insecure. SHE'S insecure. Women that are that easy usually have low self esteem and going by some of the things she's saying (sometimes I feel that I'm not at your level) she's got a poor self image. If everything else is good you can suggest she improve her slef esteem maybe?

She is indeed insecure.

A lot.

I often tell her that she needs to show more confidence. I think there's a chance of improving this.


But , as you say, "woman that are that easy have low self esteem". This actually part of the thing that bothers me.


But for now everything she does and says shows in no way i would not trust this girl.

interesting thread.

very interesting question.

i understand the concern.

"values" don't change overnight.

and "people" don't change, period.

makes you wonder what that means for the future.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I don't think you have to be worried. There's no reason to be.

Why make yourself paranoid because you were successful? It's a stupid and unfounded fear, and it will only cause problems in an otherwise happy relationship. Prefer to assume that she was incredibly attracted to you and your experience was a special case, than to assume that she sleeps with guys right after she meets them. Which one you choose determines whether you're a PUA with confidence or an AFC without it.

One time i more or less was asking her how it was possible she was so easy.

She said that she knew me, and that she liked me. She also said that she knew i was "good" (not typical 'player' type..)

Actually, i know that she doesn't go with guys she doesn't know. I saw her many times before refusing guys (just ignoring, lol) and she's not the type of girl who's flirting in the club.

If she all the time shows how happy she is with me, would she really go with another dude when drunk? I doubt

She also tells all her friends and family members that i'm her boyfriend. She even wanted me to join her in a marriage. She introduced her very quickly in her family. etc.

How much she drinks? Not a lot. I would say 1 time in the week; but she isn't always drunk. Sometimes it happens, like you and me.

What do you mean Mack, with 'makes you wonder for the future'?

I think if she's loved by you, and gets the things she needs, affection, affirmation, she is not going to search it anywhere else.

And seems like she's a good girl, not the one that is going to hurt you.

If she isn't in a LTR, might be she needs this confirmation (for herself) and she goes and search it with random dudes.

If she gets this from you, you are fine.

I don't understand why you would be worried at all. You're good, man.

Don't worry about it. What's going to happen is what's going to happen. And there's no reason creating an issue in a good-so-far relationship because of what MAY happen.

_________________
Jazzy Jeff: "My love for you is like a river,
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver,
One look from you is more precious than gold,
Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"