She's not looking for the same thing you're looking for. It's time to get straight with her next time you see her.

You should tell her directly something like "We like each other. But you and I are looking for different things right now. I want to keep seeing you because I like you and you like me, but if we take things further I want to make sure that you know I cannot provide the type of commitment you're looking for. I don't want to hurt you but right now I just want to have fun. Is that OK with you?" In your own words, of course. If she's OK with what you say, kiss her! If not, then it's a better idea to go your own separate ways.

Also, remember that the sexual tension you have with her is not official if you don't close, whether that be sex or even a kiss.

@kasabi.

I do think I'm seeing things more clearly now... I've learned more than I thought from my "success" in Brazil. Not only did I learn from my personal experience, I also learned from my friends there.

I was a French student in the best university of Brazil, I spoke Portuguese perfectly (Personal Lifestyle)... I had amazing friends coming from all over the world with whom I was going out and having fun (Social Circle). I was well dressed compared to the usual Brazilian but could do way better when it came to my body (Physical Appearance). My insecurities were too strong (Inner Game) and my game was barely okay (Outer Game). Yet, I've succeeded in making girls come to me with this set of tools.

The "Model".
I understood by watching successful friends that "gaming" was all about trying to align these 5 elements:
- Personal Lifestyle + Social Circle = Attractive Lifestyle (what makes you congruent about gaming, gives you the depth to your game, gives you value)
- Inner Game + Physical Appearance = Passive Attraction (second layer of attraction that allows you to stand out of the crowd, direct support of your game)
- Outer Game = Active Attraction (the actual game)

Applied to a given target, I would say that all these layer allows you to penetrate each of her circles (you talked about those circles earlier in my journal) and reach her "center".

More generally, the Attractive Lifestyle (Personal Life + Social Circle) are the foundations of the Passive Attraction (Inner Game + Physical Appearance) pillars that support the Active Attraction (Outer Game). The better I'll be to align these layers, the hotter the women I'll be able to attract.

Where I'm at?
I'm sticking to this vision now. Unfortunately, since I'm back in France... I don't have a lot.
Attractive Lifestyle: well... I'm at my parents', no job, no real hobby or skills and my social circles are dead. Yet, I'm a MBA student with culture and speak several language: I have good basis.
Passive Attraction: could be way better! My inner game could definitely use some help from an Attractive Lifestyle and my physical appearance could also be improved.
Active Attraction: well... I've nothing here. I've no real support or real foundations for my game to improve.

What actions?
I have to align all these layers... but should I address all the issue at the same time (approaching while working on the Attractive Lifestyle and Passive Attraction part), or should I tackle the Attractive Lifestyle before and then tackle the other parts?

Concerning the Attractive Lifestyle, I have some ideas of course: developing my photo skills, finding a job and planning events with my social circles... but I have the feeling that I should try something new. I should think out of the box, especially to meet new people and improve my social circles. Any idea?

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

@kasabi, Glade & Chief.

I do think I've done a nice job with her. But it was not hard to align the layers at all since I am already close to her "center"... If I felt so congruent about escalating, it's because I just had to focus on my outer game and enjoy myself. I was not worried about not being enough high value for her... or not having enough background to game her. I had no pressure, I was just interested in activating a social circle... but since she was hot, I changed my plans and tried to push it further.

Yet, she's the kind of girl I could date as a LTR. I would just enjoy doing her. She's hot but it's strange... some days I'm really into her... the next day, I just think she's too weird for me (weird meaning not that smart sometimes). Anyways, she's really not looking for the same thing and I don't think I can get her to change her mind... She seemed a bit desperate to have someone. Too bad though, I should have steal her a damn kiss, I love her lips. I'll probably see her again though and see what I do.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

I just went through the same situation. What I did was go out and game the guys as much as the girls. Focus on being cool and friendly, make buddies with guys, and then you can meet ALOT of people and already have an "in."

For instance, I met these 2 guys from different groups on Wednesday. Last night I rode to a house party with one of them. When I left the party I went to a nightclub where the other one was having a VIP section party.

You're a photographer, so join some online photography clubs in Paris. There are thousands of models in that city, so you could go to photographer/model meet and greets. If you play any sports, there are probably leagues for it. Just try and stay out and in social situations.

Glade

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My mPUA pickup journal: mpua-glades-log-of-pick-up-and-life-vt99032.html

@Glade.

The main idea is to meet new people indeed... guys or girls... yet I can't picture myself just walking to a bunch of guys and take their numbers... I think I'll try to meet new people more traditionally in the first place: though friends of colleagues and seed events with the cool guys I meet.
That's the kind of friends I need... the kind that have fun!
I thought about meeting people that shares the same interest... but I don't really knew how to start... Photography is an option for sure. I'll think about it.

Thanks for the advice.

Daniel..

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

When studying and practicing this stuff, the general advice around here is to GO OUT, keep a schedule, and follow through with it. Example: Say hello to X number of people, gain X numbers, etc . . .

However, once you're comfortable with meeting people, breaking down barriers, and befriending them, then the idea is to just follow your life schedule. You have a life to live . . . live it well. Your future friends/social circles will in fact find you. All you need to do with them is what you now know how to do. So at this point you don't look for a photography group in order to find new friends, you do it because you love photography. You don't try out tennis because you think there might be cute girls at the club, you do it because tennis strikes your fancy. Great people are all around us, all the time. they've always been there, criss-crossing your life path. You didn't go to Brazil specifically to find girls did you?

If you want to find people who share your interests, then first chase your interests.

I like

@kasabi.

So basically "mechanically" getting good at meeting people in order to implement it in a daily "attractive" life. Got it.

I also like the "chase the interest first" approach but truth is a lot of my interests could be chased at home in front of a book... but that's not what I want. Let's find social ways to chase these interests. But again, I have to not only think out of the box but find groups/association (and time when I'll have a job).

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

DAY 75: reconnecting with my social circle.
"yeah, she is totally turned on by me right now"

Context.
Still following my main plan! I'm trying to reconnect with some friends and improve my lifestyle in general. But truth, I got lucky Wednesday. I received a text from a girl friend that wanted to have a drink.

Goals.
- Have fun: try to have fun as much as I can (while being by myself).
- Focus on speaking slowly: let's fix one of my worst bad habits: speaking too fast.
- Focus on eye contact: showing dominance 101.
- Seed another event: seed another event with this circle of friends.

Strategy.
- Have fun: say what I feel like to say, smile...
- Focus on speaking slowly: be direct and speak slowly... don't hesitate to slow down.
- Focus on the eye contact: look in the eye while talking to someone.
- Seed another event: revive this circle of friend.
____________________________________________________________________

Summary (for lazy people): I was a bit bored by the restaurant but it got better at the café. Being C&F with Repetto Lady helped me getting in a better state. In the end, my friends were joking about me and her coming back home together.

Receiving a text.
I received an invitation to have a drink Wednesday but I didn't have the number in my contacts. I was pretty sure it was Repetto Lady (RL) but play around with her. She was a true friend when I got dumped last September. To be honest with you, she has been a one-itis for me right after my breakup. Unfortunately I learned she was back with her ex-boyfriend... This is the small text convo, while I tried to be C&F.

Me: I approve... but who are you? Give me hints, it will be funnier
RL: I'm a hyper hot girl with an amazing sense of humor and I'm always in a good mood. Besides, I'm gotta be the nicest girl you know. Come on, don't even pretend to hesitate, you know. Oh and last hint, I can "slam" like nobody (inside joke)
Me: RL? Hmm... I'm still waiting to have the proof of some of these affirmations...

I took the lead afterwards, call her and proposed a bar to go to. Yeah, I can do that.

At the restaurant.
We met and agreed to go to a Chinese restaurant... Not my thing I confess. But well. We were 3 guys and 1 girl... Yeah, I know. Anyways, I was not having so much fun. I mean, it was good to see them again, but the conversation was not interested to me... too much logistics, not enough fun for me... I decided to put some fun in the conversation and be C&F with RL. We laughed a lot but the conversation kept going back to boring stuff. Another guy friend joined us after that.

I tried to kept being C&F with her. At some point, I mentioned the text she sent me, picturing herself as a super hot girl and all... She laughed about it and the others started to work for me at this point: they were like "is there something going on between you too?". They were joking obviously since we all knew she had a boyfriend.

At the café.
The café was even funnier, we spoke about the seduction subject a lot. I realized some of my friends had some notion about the whole value thing. But one of them was really really really AFC. I stayed out of the conversation since I don't want to bring attention on myself when it comes to gaming. I asked RL do give him some advice... "oh no I'm too bad at it"... We played around... At some point, he was saying a much of a nice guy he was... he seemed desperate... I turned to RL and ask her "isn't he attractive to you right now?". She laughed and said "yeah I want him so much right now". My friends kept talking about the concept of dominance and how it was important to take the lead. Some minutes later, I was the one asking for the bill. My friends said, "wow AFC Daniel, taking the lead like a boss"... I replied "yeah, RL is totally turned on by me right now"... She laughed.

Leaving.
I offered RL to give her a ride home. The others were like "see, AFC Daniel is not going back alone". We laughed and I put my arm around her neck as we were walking... "I'm gonna give you a crazy night, I'll tell you about Brazil, about the stars..."... she laughed. She put her arm around my waist, which is a massive IOI now that I think about it. I took out my arm a couple of minutes after.

As we said goodbye to our friends, I tried to seed another event on Sunday afternoon.

Giving her a ride home.
We had some fun in the car too, we spoke about random things. I was actually the one teaching her how to use her camera. Nothing special happened though. I left her and I went back home.

____________________________________________________________________

On the strategy.
- Have fun: I was not having fun in the beginning, I was a bit disappointed by the restaurant and the subject of conversation but I was better in the end hopefully.
- Focus on speaking slowly: well I was better the other day with HSC... I lack a bit of confidence at the beginning... I was not good generally when it came to the way I spoke.
- Focus on the eye contact: I was okay.
- Seed another event: I managed to ask my friends if they want to do something on Sunday I'll try to plan something.

On the Game.
- I need to be better at creating a positive frame.
- Getting better at speaking slowly and clearly is a key to better game.
- I need more friends.
- I need to prepare more.

Coming next.
- Seeing my friends tomorrow?


I wish the dinner was funnier.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

Here's a small update about several points I wanted to talk about.

Job interview.
In my effort to build an attractive lifestyle, I had my first job interview today. Everything went well. I was actually pretty impressed by myself... I was surprisingly clear about what I was saying. My French was good and I've spoken slowly. On another note, I kept eye-contact and was quite confident. I'll see what's the result.

I confess I don't really want to start to work. I'm afraid of being trapped in a daily 9 to 6 work and not having the time to have a real personal life aside, in other words, to have fun and enjoy my life. Guess everybody needs to grow up.

By the way, it was hell to go to the interview... my GPS was broken but I made it. It did not shatter my state.

Brazilian Brunette.
We've been keeping in touch and she told me she'll be traveling through Europe in November. She's coming to Paris for a few days. That's obviously good news.

Chasing my passions.
I'm leaving music aside for a while and start to chase another passion of mine: philosophy. I've bought Spinoza's Ethics, a book I've always wanted to read. This is a new step to a goal: becoming better at speaking and writing. This helps me to build an attractive lifestyle and will allow me to improve my outer game. Speaking well shows confidence.

Next steps.
- Organizing more events with friends (my birthday is coming, I've never celebrated it with friends).
- Apply to more job offers.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Very nice man...

I don't feel like replying because you're way past me now .

But just to say, your journey is inspirational. Every time I hit a slight low I read this and I feel inspired.

Good luck man. I was wondering if you could share a detailed strategy of applying for jobs because this is where I am at the moment. Although our job searches will be different I think the overall strategy should be the same.

Regards,

Tweeby.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

DAY 76: spending the day at Disneyland with HSC for my birthday.
"Are you afraid of touching me?"

Context.
She wrote me the other day to know about my job interview. I got her on the phone and we agreed on going out for a drink. Yesterday night, she found an offer from Disney: a free entrance for your birthday. I got my free ticket and went there. Even though I'm not sure what I want with her (sometimes I like her, sometimes, I just can't picture myself having more than a friendly relationship), I wouldn't be honest if I said I don't want have a taste of her lips.

Goals.
- Have fun: try to have fun as much as I can (while being by myself).
- Focus on speaking slowly: let's fix one of my worst bad habits: speaking too fast.
- Focus on eye contact: showing dominance 101.
- Focus on KINO escalation: escalate as much as I can.
- Meet someone else: open other people around me, speak to other people, BE SOCIAL damn it! :p

Strategy.
- Have fun: smile! joke! say whatever what comes to my mind!
- Focus on speaking slowly: try to be as clear as possible, take my time, use silence.
- Focus on eye contact: look in the eye while talking to someone.
- Focus on KINO escalation: use any KINO gambit that comes to my mind to get closer to her "center".
- Meet someone else: just open people, ask question, be friendly.
____________________________________________________________________

Summary (for lazy people): I couldn't escalate as much as I wanted since she is REALLY not looking for what I want (not a LTR). Yet I had a nice day but couldn't help noticing how I can get bored easily. I was better in the end and got her speaking about her past relationships.

At Disneyland.
I won't do a detailed report here since it wouldn't be interested. I had a really nice day and it was cool to spend the day with her. I've never really ran out of things to say but our conversation were not funny most of the time... just random basic chats. I was okay, did a lot of eye contact and escalate a bit through several gambits: high-five and hold, taking pictures together, guiding her with my hand in her back, got closer... The way I was speaking was okay... but sometimes she would make me repeat what I said.

Let's focus on the key facts:
- she was "afraid" of touching me... she refused to touch me twice. I told her that I was getting fat and told her "look" and she said: "I won't touch you". Another time, I was carrying my camera, she offered to put the map back in my pocket but finally put it in her bag. "Are you afraid of touching me?" No answer.
- I was okay at escalating though... I was actually picture myself grabbing her sweet ass... it was basically a piece of paradise for my eyes. I had desire for her.
- even though I've never really ran out of things to say, I couldn't help noticing how boring our conversation were sometimes. She seemed okay though, getting passionate about random stuff... while I was getting bored. That's on my though, I should be the one bringing the positive and funny frame but sometimes I just had no clue how to do that. I was bored, so were my conversations.
- I was better in the end, I remembered that relationships were a good subject of conversation for me. I got her speaking about her ex.

Speaking about her relationships.
I was better at this. I got her talking about her ex. She started to tell me her stories about him. She was basically telling me how she couldn't stand him anymore. I played around with her and told her she might be too castrating with guys (I knew that too well from my past LTR)... She spend her time defending herself afterwards... great result. I told her I couldn't picture myself engaging sex with a girlfriend who was so castrating in daily life. I wanted to make her speak about her sexual life, but it failed. She offered me an ice-cream for my birthday and we kept on talking about that. I teased her saying that I wouldn't like to be the one dating her. I ask her if she ever found a guy able to handle her, she told me the one ex that made her suffer like fuck when they broke up. A newly retired AFC would conclude that he should treat every girl like shit but we all know it's more complicated than that.

She also told me an story about a guy she met in a club. He kissed her. "I don't like that" she said. He sent her several text and she made it clear she wants something serious. He got her in a dinner (he paid for it... haha) and she called all her friends to tell them she had a date (haha again). In the end, she received a text from him. He didn't want to see her again. She was down but discovered that he had a girlfriend. Anyway, as you can see, she's clearly not in a fun perspective and really want a serious girlfriend. As far as I'm concerned she's a friend. A hot one.

____________________________________________________________________

On the strategy.
- Have fun: I had fun obviously but I got bored at some point. I could definitely train myself to be more fun, but I guess there's a natural limit: spending the day with someone obviously involves getting bored at some point.
- Focus on speaking slowly: I try to be clear but she wouldn't understand sometimes... don't really know if it's on me or if she was not focused while saying it. I still have to work on that anyway.
- Focus on eye contact: I was good at that.
- Focus on KINO escalation: I used the usual strategies... I doubt I could be more aggressive with her... I think she's really insecure... Escalation has to be slow with her.
- Meet someone else: this doesn't work at all. I didn't open anyone except employees...

On the Game.
- An entire day with someone is too much time.
- I need to practice more on meeting people.
- Turning any basic conversation into pure fun would be a priceless skill.
- Relationships are a good subject of conversation.

Coming next.
- My birthday


I was getting a bit bored at some point.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Reading your last FR I cant help but think: Man, Im totally in the same page with Daniel.
Well, hell yeah a whole day with ONE person es too much, but in my experience the women that really wanted me almost made all they could to make me hang out with em for the entire day, or half of it. So when the company is right, I think a day means nothing. Of course, if you get bored and time doesnt goes by with you not noticing it, thats a clear sign of: get the fuck away, that day is finished.

I wanna talk about another point here that you think its cool and I dont share:

I often talk aobut relationships with girls, this is something I thought it worked on the past, and now its a common mistake I do everytime Im with a girl I like.

Daniel, be carefull about not ending up being the psychologist friend; thats what happens to me. Of course bringing romance to the equation its great, but when it comes to ex boyfriends I noticed you bring a lot more negative emotions in the girl.
I end up being the pussy friend that talks about their ex and its bullshit.

I also know that when Im drunk (my best pick ups happened those times) I dont give a fuck about their ex, I even laugh if they bring the subject up. Im there only to kiss the girl and wont let my attention to waste on something else.

What Im saying here is: try to think twice before you talk aobut relationships; could be good, could blow all your chances.

You are getting better man.
Bond.

@tweeby.

I don't have a real strategy to find a job... But one thing is sure, I have to think out of the box to apply, I will apply spontaneously soon for example. I guess the more résumé you send, the more chances you have to get a job... and a job is a key element for the attractive lifestyle bringing depth to the game!

@Bond-007.

Indeed, we have to know when to leave! But at the same time, I wanted to get experience... and that's what I've got from this whole day spend with her.

I'm not really afraid of speaking about her past relationships, and I don't think I'm being her shrink. It often allows me to get closer to the target and tease them a little. But it's not really a strategy of mine... just a subject of conversation that brings fun.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

WOW THIS HAS BEEN MADE AS A STICKY!!!

_________________

"We Go Truly Hard, Styles Like Julia"-Hoodie Allen