For those who want the back story, this LR involves the girl I number and kiss closed in my field report, here's the link :
a-mad-man-journal-vt99605.html
Anyway...
I had been steadily building up attraction and comfort with this girl over the phone and through texting. And yes, I DO NOT believe in waiting for an hour or three before replying to her texts. I just do that as soon as I get them, to the effect that she commented and I quote, "I've been talking to you more than I've been talking to anyone else! That's crazy!" (and she meant crazy in a good way).
Now, I'd set up a Day 2 on Saturday, which I'd planned to include a good game of outdoor paintball (gets them hot and sweaty and excited every time), followed by a lunch and a stroll round the city, if we were into that mood. Seemed fine to me.
But, well oh well, "Man proposes, God disposes." or something. It started raining like crap from Friday afternoon. And I hate the Bombay rains. They just don't seem to stop. Anyway, I waited till Saturday morning, and about 12 in the afternoon, I sent her a text..
Me : Well, about our little date..
Her: Yeah. Looks like its cancelled.
Me: I dunno. Give me a good incentive and I'll brave the rains for you.
Her: Haha. Don't want you catching a cold on my account. Then, I'd be reduced to playing a nurse on your account.
Me: God. You shouldn't have given me THAT image. I'm actually getting dressed now.
Her: Seriously? But, where will we go? Rains spoil clothes!
Me: Rains spoil clothes? What are you? Paris Hilton? We can always stay in, lie on the couch, watch Jerry Maguire and eat ice-cream together. That is your big fantasy, isn't it?
Her: Hahahaha... Shut up! Are you serious about coming over?
Me: Yes.
Her : Okay, here's my address.. (the address).
So, one thing was immediately clear to me, I had indeed built enough comfort with her so that she had no issues with inviting me over on the first date. Also, that was a sign that she was open to things progressing on their natural course, or so I'd thought at that time. What I hadn't thought of was that her place was a good 45 minutes away and the weather was utter crap.
So, I finally reached at her doorstep, wet as a dog and I didn't know how to dry myself by shaking either.
So, she opened the door..
Her : God! Don! You're wet!
Me : Something tells me I should be saying that.
(Yeah, I don't know why I said that. Thankfully, I was feeling so cold, that my voice was stuttering and for some reason, that induced laughter. So yeah..)
Her: Come on in! Stand there! Don't move around,okay? blah blah something about how she didn't want to clean the place again ,her roommate was away blah blah
She came back with a big towel and handed it over to me.
Her: Dry yourself, then we'll get you out of those clothes.
Me: God, you certainly don't waste any time, do you?
Her:(punched me lightly on the arm; initiation of kino) Haha.. You're incorrigible!
Me: (mock salute) Yes, ma'am.
So, I stripped down to my boxers, and she handed me a big T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.
Me: No way am I wearing a woman's clothes.
Her: Hush! These are my elder brother's. They're clean. Don't be a baby.
Well, I had nothing to lose, and I figured my clothes would be dry by the time I'm done with, so I shut my mouth and got into them. I had a tingling feeling in my nose, but I ignored that.
So, we went to her kitchen and made something (no, not love. not yet anyway) and settled on the couch. She put on a movie which I can't be bothered to remember and leaned into me, it certainly helped matters that she smelled nice, and that she would occasionally look at me when she thought something funny happened during the film, just to see my reaction. I guess me reaction was right cause she took my hand, threaded our fingers together and pressed it against her stomach.
(I felt like another hurdle was passed.)
Completely bored with the movie, and thinking that she had the same idea as I did,I dropped my mouth to her neck and began placing light kisses there. Her only response was to tighten her hold on my hand. Taking that as an encouragement, my fingers found the edge of her top and slipped inside, and began running over the smooth skin of her abdomen. I felt the muscles of her stomach tighten. God, I was loving this. But then..
Her: Don! What are you doing! We're supposed to be watching a movie here! Can't you control yourself!
I mean, seriously?! What was this?! Since our clothes were on, I don't think it could be LMR either. I just sat up and moved to the other side of the couch. I gave her short answers and my body language was a little distant too. Sometime during the movie, I fell asleep.
When I woke up, she was looking into my face and quietly said, "I like you, Don." I just smiled and kissed her lightly on the nose. She took me by my hand and into the room.
The clothes were history and you know how that follows later.
The whole LMR never happened because my whole body language which showed that I put some distance between me and her would've confused her and maybe, made her feel bad for shouting at me, because she was enjoying that too. And she was at some level relieved to see that I wasn't holding on to those cold feelings, when I woke up.
This happened because of my constant efforts at making her feel comfortable with my presence in her life, over the phone calls and the texts(think 60-70 texts were exchanged between us every day, for a week). While some people here will jump and shout, "Needy" that is because they cannot see the difference between talking and romancing with someone. When I'm talking to a girl, I just talk to her. I don't know what I want from her or what I could have with her.
I woke up in her bed late in the evening and she gave me soup in bed, she had noticed me sniffing in sleep! She even paid some of my cab fare back home since it was still raining and she didn't want me to get drenched. It was a good, good feeling to have.
I've been talking to her and well, she's not jumping at me with thoughts of a house with a white picket fence, two and a half children and a dog, she knows that I was honest with my intentions. And that what we had was two people just having a good time. None of us are in any sort of delusion.
Make it clear to them what you want from them, if not in your words, then through your actions. They will never accuse you of misleading them later. Be honest with women at the start and they will be good to you afterwards.
I gave her a hug and kissed her on the forehead before leaving, since I had the feeling I was gonna get sick with cold and didn't want to infect her too. Be good to the people who are good to you.
Always, always remember: Leave them better than you found them. That is the first ethical rule and it should be cemented in your head.
Be honest, talk to women as much as you want to, develop comfort, be in the moment and follow your own path. Don't rely too much on lines and routines.
Sometimes, pick-up is indeed that simple.
Sláinte.
CHAT