How to recognize that your relationship is OVER



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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 7:17 pm 
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So... I was thinking about this today, how I have absolutely no desire to whack off since I started PUAing / banging many chicks / run MLTRs.

And then I remembered how when I was in a LTR, I would have the need to whack off EVEN WHILE I WAS HAVING A LOT OF SEX with my girl. I mean even if the sex was great, I would still want to whack off one hour later.

Then I realized that that should have been a sign for me that the relationship is over.

So what I'm saying is, if you are on a LTR, and you feel like you need to whack off... forget it, it's done.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 9:47 pm 
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Lol,I had to laugh at this post.

Not in a negative way but via irony.

Just yesterday I was pondering this,"why do I still wacc off,even an hour after banging my LTR"?

I've been in a roccy LTR of 2 years and change now.

Well documented on the forum(my ups & downs).

But I have noticed that over a year now,I stilll have the urge to wack off although Im banging my gf.

I agree with 90% of your insight.

I would'nt say this' a sign that it's DONE.

More like a sign of loosing sexual attraction;which in most cases leads to DONE.

So you're still correct.

But if the guy can manage to refeshen his sex drive for his gf,then it should'nt mean DONE.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 10:19 pm 
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Antigua & Barbuda, WTF??? :-) How is it to sarge over there? :-)

Well, we can argue about that. I think that when the sexual drive goes away it's a sign that everything else is in decline.

Now... you can start "working" on the relationship but as I see things at the moment, that just means trying to fix something which is broken and that shouldn't be working for so long in the first place. Long term relationships are unnatural and go against our biology - http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Dawn-Prehisto ... 0061707805

It's like trying to extend the expiration date on a pill or reheat a microwave meal for the 10th time :-)

It's real sad but that's how I see things at the moment.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 11:24 pm 
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Lol I agree with you more that you broke it down.

Like you said,it's on the decline once the sexual attraction goes.

As far as gaming in Antigua & Barbuda,it's great.

Night-life gaming at bars and stuff is the best.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 11:42 pm 
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Isn't that one of the main reasons men cheat? They need sexual variety?


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 1:50 am 
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Quote:
Isn't that one of the main reasons men cheat? They need sexual variety?
Correct.

But would'nt that apply to cheating girls also?

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 2:12 am 
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Funny Read and very right .

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 2:35 am 
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When your woman loses respect for you, it's done.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 2:42 am 
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Quote:
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Isn't that one of the main reasons men cheat? They need sexual variety?
Correct.

But would'nt that apply to cheating girls also?
Yes.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 9:14 am 
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Quote:
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Isn't that one of the main reasons men cheat? They need sexual variety?
Correct.

But would'nt that apply to cheating girls also?
Maybe it's deeper than that. We don't just need sexual variety. We crave FREEDOM, that's our most basic core value.

That's why we fight with our parents from a young age about bullshit that doesn't make sense, that's why we enjoy being alone sometimes, that's why we start resenting our girls after a few months, no matter what (almost always...) I think it's the same with girls but maybe to a lesser degree.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 8:24 pm 
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I completely get your frustration over the "fizzle out". Yet I wonder, exactly what you expect from a relationship. Is it a deep connection, openness, sex? If it's only to tickle your cock, then the bond shouldn't be so strong that it bothers you this much, since you possess the skills to draw another girl in to fill the spot. ;)
So, what exactly is it that you want?

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 9:35 pm 
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Quote:
So what I'm saying is, if you are on a LTR, and you feel like you need to whack off... forget it, it's done.
That is if its sexually based.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 9:43 pm 
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Usually when the sex starts to drop off. No matter what TV tries to tell us, sex shouldn't be a once a month event that you have to beg for.

Otherwise the girl will usually try to end it by being nasty to you. At least that's what I've found. Most girls seem to prefer that you end it by dumping them than the other way round - I figure they get more sympathy that way.

I've always found that after the breakup, I realise the signs were there a long time before I actually ended it.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:19 am 
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Quote:
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So what I'm saying is, if you are on a LTR, and you feel like you need to whack off... forget it, it's done.
That is if its sexually based.
Right... so you're saying that it's OK to have a platonic relationship with your wife / girlfriend? Once you take out the sexual relation a relationship becomes a friendship... I don't understand your point.

A relationship (the one we are talking about here) is first and foremost sexual. What usually happens in LTR is that after two years the sexual attraction is gone but the friendship remain.. which is cool, but then you start to build up frustrations, you start to express them in idiotic ways (fighting over who left the remote where etc) and then everything goes to shit. That's why couples who are in an open relationship are usually much happier than "normal" couples - check the statistics on that. The reason for this is that if the sexual part is taken care of, people CAN be together for a long long time and live happily ever after. But monogamous LTR are just DOOMED to fail. The system is rigged against any chance of long term success.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 11:05 pm 
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Right... so you're saying that it's OK to have a platonic relationship with your wife / girlfriend? Once you take out the sexual relation a relationship becomes a friendship... I don't understand your point.
I see nothing wrong with a "platonic" relationship with your wife/girlfriend. But I disagree that once you take out the sexual relation it becomes just a friendship as I still think its more than a friendship if you actually have feelings for the person past the sexual ones. But I am talking about a relationship that isn't sexually based tho. Ie a romantic based one. I know its a bit old fashion, but relationships can be based upon such things without it being sexually based, but with sex being part of it.
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A relationship (the one we are talking about here) is first and foremost sexual.
So the sexually based kind, the kind that I was referring to. :wink:

Quote:
What usually happens in LTR is that after two years the sexual attraction is gone but the friendship remain.. which is cool, but then you start to build up frustrations, you start to express them in idiotic ways (fighting over who left the remote where etc) and then everything goes to shit.
And if the relationship isn't just based upon physical attraction this will be less likely be the case. As there be other ways to ease the sexual tension/frustration there. As at some point the honeymoon phase as I call it ends and the real relationship beings. And if you can't deal with the real relationship part you most probably not for each other. But sexually based relationships tend to not last long anyway because as you said the attraction goes away at some point and thats that.
Quote:
That's why couples who are in an open relationship are usually much happier than "normal" couples - check the statistics on that. The reason for this is that if the sexual part is taken care of, people CAN be together for a long long time and live happily ever after.
The thing is not many people can be in such a relationship. I would say most people can't be in such a relationship. The primary reason being jealously as well as most probably always wondering if your partner will leave you for someone else that they are screwing. I mean how many people will leave their partner if they are getting better sex than that from their partner?
Quote:
But monogamous LTR are just DOOMED to fail. The system is rigged against any chance of long term success.
How? I am more curious to why you think that, not to say I don't think there are some reason as to why this may be a bit true.


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