im sleepy, but something i feel like i should make this thread while its on my mind. If i ramble like a dumbass my fault.

but yea...after applying my ass off, and interviews, i finally got hired today.

the job i got is at dave & busters (restaurant/bar/arcade) i think they have these outside the us? not sure. its pretty much chuckie cheese for adults. Also this d&b is located inside a mall to.

im 21 pretty much everybody is telling me it seems like a cool job to have and whatnot, and apparently where im gonna work at is alot of customer service. I feel like it'll help my game(im one of those afc/aa new guys on here) because it'll force me to be around women more (which i hardly am). Not saying i'ma game at work or anything but shit who knows. Part of me is worried im gonna be a afc and just ruin my chances with women there (even just as friends)

Before this i played video games alot and never went out(still don't really), and just sat on my ass. Now i've trying to improve my life. i work out alot, eat healthy, look for jobs, doing better in class, looking for hobbies, and am slowly becoming distance with most of my social circle cept a few people. But getting better with women is been tough for me

I just want to not feel awkward, intimidation, or in my head when with women. Not wondering if she's attracted or looking for an ioi or some dumb shit. That shit happens it drives me to the point where i just avoid women all together and it's awkward to be around them, but im pretty convinced that the only way to get past this is of course just take it like a champ, improve, and keep it moving.

i guess after typing all this stuff i just want to know the best way get rid of shy/desperate/needy vibe, and just be comfortable around women in general?? (especially attractive women). I use to even feel weird talking about women, but i got better with that. I can''t initiate a convo with women for shit though.

i know that talking to women/being around them more i know is one way to practice this.

are there any other ways to improve your comfortablity/get rid of shyness with women?

Classic theory dictates that you should warm up with hired help and I don't see why you can't expand on that. It also states that the main cause of AA is fear of rejection. Use both of these together and just go and find cute assistants in shops. Start with the basics; "where's X"? Then move on to looking at her eyes when you speak. It'll be like trying to put two negative ends of magnets together at first, but it's really normal amongst socially developed people.

Next up, go get a coffee somewhere. Chat to the person serving you; "What's the best drink you do here?". Go sit on a park bench with it somewhere where there are lots of people. Sit back. Adopt Alpha pose (spread your body rather than shrivelling, eg. arm resting horizontally draped over back of bench). Watch people. No, scrap that. Watch people while being chilled - slow movements.

Next step, as you look at people (NB. not just HBs), imagine how you'd open them. "Hey, cool shoes. My little sister got a new set like that last weekend. Only problem is, being white, the first thing she did was tread in a muddy puddle. It's sorta my job as a big brother to help her out, but I have no idea how you clean Eskimo boots and there aren't any Eskimos around to ask!" Please note that you don't have to open them, just work out how you'd do it.

Also, get your hair cut in somewhere half decent and there's a 90% chance that you'll get a hot girl to cut your hair for you there. Ignore the haircutting bit, she has to talk to you for about 15 minutes! Practice some DHV stories on her. Try some of the verbal routines from on here (eg. I can guess the fruit you're thinking of).

These are all zero risk strategies. She can't blow you out as you're doing anything that gives her that option!

edit - BTW, congrats on the new job!

First, great stuff from ZebraG above.

Second, look at the way you "open" this post: excuse, DLV (ramble, dubmass, fault), then finally a DHV (jot hired).

The mindset you're putting out to the world is "I'm pathetic, please be nice to me."

This might work with your grandma--but it's a huge turn-off to women more generally.

Third, the self-improvement stuff you are describing shows you do want to get out of this space--but you are still carrying the social programming.

Do all of the things ZebraG described above, and add this...

--Do them slowly, don't rush the words out...

--Do them understanding that you are not trying to pick-up; think of it like going to the gym if you were an athlete, the match, game, competition is coming in the future, but you are in the gym to train, not to compete...

--Eye contact, smile, relaxed body posture (not slouched, just not tensed like you might have to run for your life), work on them one at a time

--Above all purge the damned DLVs from your social routine, no matter whom you are talking to, including body language DLVs (like looking at your shoes)

_________________
Cuts like a knife