Guys,

let me shortly describe my situation.

Born in Belgium, i did erasmus-exchange and studied 1 year in Italy. There i got to know my girlfriend, who is from Spain.

Erasmus ended couple of months ago. I decided to stay in Italy and try to find a job there. She went back to Spain since she needs to finish another year of study.

Taking into the account the economic situation in Italy, compared to Belgium (and the wage differences + huge pressure from parents) i might move back to Belgium and search a job back there.

However, my GF obviously isn't very keen on that; since she has no connection with Belgium at all, and due to the huge cultural difference is probably not attracted to the idea of moving to Belgium. She obviously doesn't speak the language either while she does speak Italian, just as me. Therefore she all the time liked the idea of me working in Italy. (She already told me to move to Italy after studies)

The point is that my decision of building up my life in Belgium might break down this relationship. I can't move to Spain since i'll have a job here, while she doesn't like to go to Belgium (that's what she said one time when i tried to check her opinion on that)

I'm just stuck and don't know what to do. I feel as i can't 'ruin' my (financial) future for my GF, whom i know only for about 5 months. On the other hand, i'm afraid of losing this fantastic girl on the long term. This wasn't just a flirt. She's a very serious girl. I'm very selective with my long term partners and she does fit the bill.

I'm afraid that she might not like to move to Belgium and break up, search a spanish guy and chose for a life in her culture/country.

Any opinions?

Thanks a lot.

There is no easy answer to this (you probably knew that, right?). I live in the U.S. so I do not have insight into the Belgium vs. Italy wage situation (other than what you see moving from a rural area to an urban area in the U.S., and vice versa) so my thoughts might be a bit naive but... have you considered the cost of living? IE, does 10 Euro in Belgium buy as much as 10 Euro in Italy? Is rent (by far the biggest cost of living) similar, or much cheaper in Italy? I only say that because, while on face value you may not make as much money in Italy as you would in Belgium, it might balance out more than you'd think.

That being said, having graduated from college and moved about from place to place looking for an ideal way to start my career, I can tell you that unless your career goals are only suited to Belgium, you'll be able to start a career virtually anywhere and your experience will be taken into account if you decide to move. If you want to work in IT, for example, five years of experience in Italy is the same as five years of experience in Belgium (at least in terms of immigration to the U.S., which is my current field of expertise). Long story short, the location where you start your career is probably less important than you think.

Of course, you also know that there are quality women everywhere, and with a little searching and effort, you'll find some that you like.

So... if all of those things are equal, you have to ask yourself whether it is more important to proceed with a relationship that is established, or not. You'll have to find a job and start a career either way.

Do you have any comment about the cost of living in Italy vs. Belgium?

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- Lux et Veritas -

The wages in Italy are lower than in Belgium, while the cost of living is higher.

Renting a flat costs me in Belgium about 300€, in Italy (Rome), 500€...

So, at least in the beginning, financially i'm much worse of in Italy. Of course i can build a career in Italy as well and gain up to about 2000€, which i would get sooner in Belgium.

I'm not too focused on money; but obviously my parents put pressure on me to work in Belgium; and if i think logically, they have reason.

No belgian guy would move to italy.. only italians move to belgium.

So much for that theory.

It seems to me that either decision you make will be both right and wrong.

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- Lux et Veritas -

Living in Italy is much better than in Belgium. I mean, the social life. Sun, nice city, friendly people, southern climate, etc. You are just "poorer".

This is basically choosing between money/career vs social life.

Even if this relationship would end, Italy brings much more possibilities to meet new people. (and i partticularly like southern girls).

Very hard choice.

What career are you interested in? What exactly would Belgium bring to the table (other than a higher starting salary and lower rent) in terms of growing your career that Italy would not?

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- Lux et Veritas -

First of all i know the labor market here much better than i do in Italy. Wages are higher at the beginning and grow faster, etc..

From the perspective of making a career, i should always chose for Belgium. But maybe there's more in life than only that..

Only you can decide if this girl is worth the sacrifice. If you really want the relationship to work you will do what's necessary. I personally found living someone I otherwise wouldn't of chosen for a girl ultimately made me unhappy. That's the perils of developing something with a foreign girl or when you are abroad.