now, i have read over ther years alot about PUA and managed to implimant some of it over the years but never got serious about it.. maybe because i got more then enough girls on my very day life (to my taste) and also i dont enjoy picking up random girls very much. never the less, i have the SPAM admoration for you guys and your work and this is why i come to you with this question today.

i got myself in quite a chalange here..

so theres this girl, which i saw a few times on different occasions but never got the chance to talk to. a few weeks ago, after finally getting here name i sent her friend request on facebook, which to my amazment she approved!

at this point i got a little overzelus and sent her a messege (after a couple of days of not seeing her online i figured she dosnt connect to the chat and this is why i chose to pm her):

"recently i came across you a few times but never had the chance to talk to you. using a little resorsfullnes (mainly of my little sys) i found out your name and this i why im approching you here.

i would like to meet you, and only so we could meet face to face for starters - from there we will se what happends"

and then signed my name.

now i know this is far from perfect altough it could have been alot worse. problem now is that i didnt get any response from her, and after that i did see her online on the chat, tried again with a simple hello but to no avail.

first of all, what lessons should i learn from this for the future?
second, how can i salvage this situation? this girl is pretty amazing looking and beyond that, just from looking at her profile she seems quite the catch.. any ideas here?

p.s.

regarding profile picture and.. i current one is me with another girl making a funny to the camera on close up.. its pretty good but it should get alot better.. i do alot of martial arts and most of my pictures are from there but from what i hear its not a good pick. what the opinion on that?

best regards, and thank you for your time.
Tank.

What I get out of this is: "i dont enjoy picking up random girls very much" = "i suck at picking up random girls". You've never seen a hot chick and thought to yourself, "hey, I'd like to sleep with her"? But I digress...

Stop! I read this one phrase and a red flag popped up. You need to be gaming multiple girls, not focusing on one.
Why a-m-a-z-e-m-e-n-t (that is how you spell it, btw)? People accept friend requests all the time from people they don't know. I know I have. It's not a big deal or an IOI.
Yeah, that's pretty bad. You sound desperate, and creepy in the fact that not only have you not met her, you've not even talked to her before and now you're wanting to meet up with her face-to-face.
At this point, I'd say you've creeped her out pretty good. Move on. Don't get stuck on one girl.
Things to learn.... Don't focus on one girl. If she doesn't respond to you, move on.

Personally, I don't use Facebook to sarge online. I know alot of people use it and have good results, so if you want to use Facebook, read what other people are having sucess with. As for me, I stick with dating sites. Pretty much everyone on there is there for dating, so approaching someone is not outside the norm.

If I were you, I would do this... First, LEARN TO TYPE AND SPELL. Reading your post was terrible. Use correct spelling. I mean, really "implimant "? "chalange "? "resorsfullnes"? "happends"?? Jesus Christ dude, no wonder she didn't write you back. She most likely thought a 5 year old kid with down syndrome sent her that message.

Second, if you can, get David DeAngelo's program on Meeting Women Online. It helped me quite a bit. I've taken what I've learned and created multiple Plenty of Fish profiles across the country to test things out and learn for myself. Here's an example of how I recently opened a girl:

On the page that tells you who's viewed your profile, I found a girl that looked cute.

Me: Hey stop creepin'!




HB: Lol dang ya caught me! Didnt read your profile till you said I was creepin lol
Btw, you're creepin actually :p and sweet ideal first date. Ha

(She's referring to what I filled in on the "First Date" section. I had listed two options of completely random, off the wall activities we could get into)

Me: Haha, it's only creepin' if you stalk someone's profile and never write them

So which date are we going on first then?

HB: Thats not creepin lol. :p
Idk yet, its a toss up. Which would you rather?

(Keep in mind my messages are spaced out over time. Don't ever send more than a couple messages back to back)

Me: Obviously you're up to no good if you're awake at this hour!

I'm thinking maybe hijack a boat and take it for a nice cruise along the coast. And then sink it when we're done. What do you think?

HB: I couldn't go back to sleep..
Lets not sink it, but the rest sounds pretty fun.

Me: Couldn't sleep? Uh huh, sure. Sounds just like another excuse for you to sit there and creep my profile

Maybe we won't sink it, I'm not sure yet. What other ideas do you have for our date?

HB: Yes, you caught me it was. :p
I've always wanted to try paintballing.

Me: Play paintball on a boat? Wow that sounds fun! (Take something that she says and purposely misunderstand it)

HB: Woah lol. Not on a boat!

Me: Lol, it was your idea not mine!

HB: I didnt mean on a boat crazy. :p

(Another good thing to do is take something from her profile and bust her on it. In hers she had the sentence "I'm a jerk sometimes But I'm also honest." I decided to have fun with it.)

Me: Uh huh, sure.

In your profile you said that you're a huge jerk. Does that mean you're gonna shove me off the boat when I'm not paying attention?

HB: Lol. No, it says I can be a jerk sometimes. I wouldnt push you off a boat when
you're not looking. How else would I get back to shore?! Lmao kidding! Besides if I
wanted to do anything like that i'd make sure you were looking so you'd know I
meant to do it :p There's another thing that makes me stand out. Lol


Me: So what makes you stand out is that you're a total jerk, got it

In all fairness, I'd probably sneak up behind you and give you the biggest wedgie ever, so I think that would make it even.

HB: xp No way.
Hahaha wow. Lets notttttt do any of that.

(I'm not quite sure what "xp" means, but whatever)

Me: Ugh, fine.

You text?


HB: (Now here I think I accidently deleted the message, but she didn't give me her number. She said something like "Yeah, I text" or someother lame response)

Me: Lol you're funny. You know exactly where I was going with that question

HB: Hahah No I don't :p
(XXX)-XXX-XXXX

Me: That's better

(Then I give her my number) XXX-XXX-XXXX

HB: If you wanna talk to me, you can text me lol Hate to be a
jerk, yet again But I don't chase guys. If you're
interested you'll talk to me. :p

(Reading that message presented me with an excellent opportunity to bust on her in my first text to her phone)

Me (texting her): Hey now, don't get your feathers all ruffled just because I gave you my number

And the banter continued via text. Since she is across the country from me, I finally had to let the text conversation die on the vine. But creating a profile in a completely different location it helped me learn what works and what doesn't without the fear of "poisoning the water" and learning (and failing) with local chicks.

Hope that helps.

Why be surprised that she accepted your friend request?

Everyone accepts friend request,so dont get to excited nor view that as an IOI(sign of interest).

But I'd have pm'd her first then leave it up to her to add you as friend.

That would be a sure sign of her interest.

Your pm was aweful!!

Why?

Because you came off as being apologetic[although you hadn't done anything].

2nd.ly:Your pm was too informative bro'!

No need to be telling her why you're pm'ing her,etc.

You owe this stranger nothing!

But your pm came off as though you're begging her or seeking her approval.

Your pm made this girl seem way important than she is.

That's why you had'nt gotten a reply yet.

She's turnt off by the tone of your pm,which had no humor in it,no life,no spunk,no zeal...

It was rather boring and too fuccing casual!

Can you salvage this?

I doubt it.But your pm really sunked your ship.

Your next-best bet is to meet her fce to face.

And please,stop being so polite as you were in that aweful pm.

She kind of gave you a shot by accepting your friend request.

But you blew it with that horrible/boring/apologetic pm.

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I agree totally with Texas Collin about accepting friend requests arent a big deal nor an IOI unless the girl added your first;which is still 50/50.

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I assume that, because you were surprised that she accepted your friend request, you've never talked to this girl before face to face. If that's the case, then your message probably gave her the creeps, and by sending it you most likely scuttled any chance you had at getting with her.

A lot of girls, even moderately attractive ones, receive messages from guys on a fairly regular basis, and I can tell you from firsthand experience that most of them don't end getting the sender his desired results.

First off, girls have a lot to worry about when it comes to arranging meetings online. They're told by their parents and peers to be extremely skeptical when interacting with people on the Internet, and if they've got a decent head on their shoulders, they'll approach these kinds of online solicitations with extreme caution. In most cases, they'll delete the message and block the offender if he persists.

Secondly, take a good, hard look at what you wrote. Do you really think a message like that is going to spark a girl's interest and make her attracted to you? Of course not. She now knows that you have the hots for her, and that you don't have the confidence to talk to her in real life. What's more, you want to arrange a meeting with her, and she's unaware of your intentions. Not good.

Don't get discouraged, though. I've sent messages way worse than the one you sent, I'd be willing to bet that a lot of the guys on here have, too. It's all part of the learning experience. Unfortunately, this girl is probably going to avoid you like the plague now, so I'd move on to someone else. This time, though, talk to her face to face, and save the Facebook messages for when you at least have her phone number.

As far as the profile picture goes, I'd have to see it in order to judge its "social value."

Great advise Tommy;I could'nt have said it any better.

This girl is now creeped out 'cause she's probably saying,"he sees me but never says anything,now he wants to meet up"?

I've been in this situation before and it's a very awkward feeling.

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Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
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first of all thank you all for you input and advice. i learned alot from your answer and understand may mistakes with this :/ too bad theres probably no way to salvage the situation now.

as for my spelling and grammer.. english is not my first language and the messege was a translated one so no need to get all excited about it.. in the original language it was spelled fine (not that it makes that big of a difference).

again, thank you all for your input.

Well the only way to salvage this is via in person interraction;not online gaming.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM