Short brief of what happened..

She tells me something today about her ex, which lets me know that they've been talking.. Then I find out that he's been texting her things like, "Good morning beautiful" etc, Every morning, and she is just now telling me this.. She says it's been going on for about a week but idk what to believe now.. She says she doesn't reply, but she does. What kind of guy takes the time out to text a girl EVERY morning, that NEVER responds.. She must think I'm stupid. She didn't know I had a problem with it, I replied with kind of a joke, since I sleep in a lot, I said "Well, at least u have somebody to text u good morning every day" I feel like she tries to get me jealous because it bothers her that I don't react. But I feel like if I do react she'll like that 'attention' since it shows that I care a lot about not losing her and do it more often.

At first I was thinking, hmm... well maybe I should start texting my ex, and tell her about it when my ex decides to send me good morning texts so she can see how it feels.. but she trusts me a lot so I don't think that would help the relationship any. Plus she would come up with some BS about how I'm acting like a little kid..

So without her knowing that I had a problem with anything that took place, 6 hours later she brings it up again. I tell her I don't want to talk about that.. She insists. So I txt her basically putting her in my shoes, and repeating her whole story and situation, except with me and my exs name.. then I ask her what would you want me to do and how would you feel? In this text I called her out on her replying to her ex (she tried to hide it) and also called her out on some other things that she didn't think I knew about.. 15 minutes later she texts me back saying, "You got a few things wrong. I have to do something, I'll text you later" That really pissed me off, so I turned my phone off out of anger, but I don't plan on turning it back on. I don't talk to other girls anymore because I have a hard time resisting temptation and I'm trying to make this thing work.

She loves me, I know this for sure. She's faithful for the most part.. Every other guy that's not her ex or somebody from her past, she blows them off and tells them how much she loves me.. One thing about her is that she loves attention, and I'm not the type to be her bitch and give her compliments every 30 minutes..

I have this question..

What would you do? I get upset really easily, so when I have a problem, I usually just try to stop talkin to her. But it's only for 30 minutes until I forget about the whole thing. Then she just does it again (not the same time frame, but way later in the day, or the next day). Every day for the past 3 days she's been saying "Guess who texted me today" with a smile on her face...she's talking about her ex.

My phones off right now, and I'm thinking about leaving it off all night. Me and my girl usually talk every night, for maybe an hour or so.. we've been doing this for as long as I can remember.. Me not talking to her would upset her, probably a lot. What would you guys do? Also, if I do freeze her out for the night, what should I say in the morning? She'll ask about it and like I said, she trusts me a lot and I don't wanna mess that up so I'm not gonna just say, "I was busy" because if I ask her what she was doing, I would expect her to tell me.

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Unless you guys have talked about being open about feelings for other people, constantly texting and bringing up her ex is basically something that would only be done in the friend zone. Does she want to be your friend or you lover?
Tell her that this is friendish, not the type of action you want from your woman. And that if she continues to interact with the ex, what she'll be telling you is that she only wants to be friends.
This isn't a trick. She will have a choice of either persuing you or the ex. If she continues with the ex, and you don't act decisively, you will be accepting the situation. You'll be saying that you would rather cope with the situation than lose her. Pick which one is more important to you, satisfaction in your relationship or HAVING a relationship. Hope this helps,

-H!j!nx

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"Thinking outside the box, that's how you get what you've never gotten."

I think, you should just stop playing stupid mind games with your girlfriend and state clearly that it annoys you she's texting with her ex. And you should also explain that it is not because you don't trust her but because she just blows off everyone else and it makes you uncomfortable. I don't know how long have you two been together but you don't usually solve problems by pretending you don't care about it and then suddenly explode. You solve them by talking about them. And eventhough I'm totally okay with my girlfriend texting her ex because I know they are still friends I don't know the situation here and also not everyone is so calm about these things as I am which is not hard to understand. Also she doesn't really bring this up unless it's something that I might be interested in(such as a house-party or something like that) And if your girlfriend is mature enough she should tell you that she would stop it and eventually do so, or reassure you that they are really just friends. In which case you should just believe her and leave it like that. Remember that relationships require trust in each other to work. Without that it is not even worth the effort, it will be complete and epic fail anyways.

EDIT: also if she says she wouldn't like to stop being friends with her ex. Then tell her it's okay BUT she shouldn't talk about that all the time

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

I've already done this. I talked about this problem with her a few times before, then later just started to convince myself that I shouldn't care because her and her ex aren't going to get back together. When I said that she doesn't know that it bothered me, I mean she didn't know that it bothered me today, until later on. I also don't like to play mind games. I'm not a fan of them. The whole 'freeze out' thing isn't really a 'mind game' It's letting her know that if one of us has a problem, she can't just say 'fuck your problem, I'm busy' because she's not busy. She told me what she had to do beforehand, so I know what she's supposedly busy with and it's not something that requires much effort and attention. Her and her ex aren't getting back together, I'm pretty sure about this, because he acted like a dick while they were together, made her cry all the time, and she later on found out that he was cheating on her, after they broke up. She left him for me. She says that she doesn't even want to be friends with him. I've tried to explain to her that the only reason he still talks to you is because you talk back. She now tries to cover it up and act like she's not talking back but he's still talking to her. This bothers me, I've let her know this..
Yeah, I'm positive she doesn't want her ex back over me. I've told her to stop talking to him before, and she hasn't. I'm not in the friend zone. I can also assure u of that. She doesn't say it because she's interested in him, she says it to make me jealous.. She loves getting attention. I've told her about this before and it hasn't stopped.

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Tell her straight up that you've already let her know that this bothers you, and that it's unacceptable behavior. If you're cool with it but don't want to hear about it, let her know. If you're not cool with it, let her know. It doesn't matter if she'll get back together with her ex or not. The fact is that this is something you're bothered by, and by not being sensitive to that, SHE'S putting a block in your guys' relationship. She's being insensitive. Even if it was another topic, such as if you were blowing off your guys' dates to be with friends, and she told you it was bothering her, would you cut back on hanging with them ad hang with her instead, of course you would.

It's the principle.

And she's also got negative points for not talking to you about the issue when she had the chance. By saying "she was busy", she was clearly putting her own priorities ahead of your relationship's, and not in a good "I need my space" way, but a "I'm most important" way. Not good.

If she's not going to fix the problem, or says she will but doesn't, break up with her. Just like that. Don't be vindictive or try to teach her a lesson by texting your ex. Then you're being almost as bad as she is.

I think not calling her tonight is a sound plan. In the morning, tell her straight up that after her behavior, you didn't feel like talking to her last night.

I took mostly all of your advice. Turned my phone back on, and she sent me this long ass rage text picking out everything that was wrong with what I just said, avoiding the main problem at hand. I told her I don't have time for this (avoiding the problem). Then I called her. I explained to her how I felt, and she said she called him right before everything blew up and told him that she doesn't wanna talk to him anymore and she thinks he should stop texting her. At this point I asked her when was she gonna tell me that, like, this whole thing blew up and I'm just now finding out about it when everything settles down, that would've avoided it in the first place. lol Basically, she admitted that she was wrong and said she didn't realize it until I called her and told her how I felt. She said that she avoided the main topic and picked out the little things because she didn't wanna feel like the only one that was wrong.

Everythings good though. Thanks guys

Also, she said she did that because she was upset and wasn't in the right environment to be upset in. I still told her she was wrong for pushing a problem to the side like that after it's been put on the table. She said she's gonna try to work on that. She turned her phone off also, so if you guys would have never told me to talk to her, we wouldn't have been talking.

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I'm pulling the no contact thing with my ex to try and get back with her I havent called txted or tried facebooking her. The problem is we are both in a marching band and see each other almost every day. I don't look her way or talk to her. We also both have similar friends in our social circle. How can I apply no contact with my ex if I see we see each other everyday? I want to make her bealive that I don't need her and I truly feel Tht I don't but I would like to win her back. I've been looking at other options as well. Any comments would be helpful.

I have been in the position of your GFs ex here, so I'll tell the story real quick so you can see it from my point of view. This may make you more upset with her, so I'll preface it by telling you that her situation may be COMPLETELY different.

I had a year long relationship, and after we broke up we kept having sex for another six months. At the end of that period, she started hooking up with another guy and I got jealous and wanted to get back together. She said no, life continued, I contacted her a couple more times over the next 6 months, both of which ended explosively after her rejecting me and me saying I didn't want to speak to her anymore (this was all before pick up, obviously). Eventually we decided to just talk as friends. I maintained this happily, and at one point she invited me to a party she was throwing. I said maybe, but a few weeks later when I tried to agree to go, she said she couldn't, because her new boyfriend didn't know we were talking. I sent a frustrated text (not angry or cursing, just frustrated). Later I got on facebook to find a long and angry message from her boyfriend telling me to back off. Turns out she had completely sold me out, and claimed that I had been the only one texting when she had been a very willing partner. We stopped speaking.

A while later (maybe 4 months) she got back in contact with me over something small, a "good job" for a speech I gave around then, possibly. I was in a desperate spot at that time, and still had strong feelings for her. Rather than blow it in some crazy proclamation of my feelings again, I bided my time a little. We would text every couple days and have long conversations. Lots of IOIs and she would often initiate conversations. She never told him we were speaking and I broke it off to fight the oneitis. Lots of emotion from both of us when I ended it. Her boyfriend is a year older and just left for college, she said they were definitely going to break up when he was gone, and when we were talking I had the feeling that she was waiting for him to go.

Also after writing that I got on a friend's facebook to check their profiles. They still have each other in their profile pictures but aren't listed as "in a relationship."

...FUCK ONEITIS.

Anyway, I don't know if that did anything for you, I hope it gave you some perspective on something? My advice to you would be to lay it out very clearly, and say that to continue the friendship would be unfair to you, and that you would prefer that she block his number. If she gives you trouble, it's not worth it. Be able to leave her if it comes to that.

i do not think it is okay

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I just come on here these days to give advice and read interesting threads. Gone are the days when I came to seek advice and validation.