Hi there,

I've been dating a girl for about 2 months and we recently just started getting serious! Regular sex, being exclusive and talking every day with her telling me how much she likes me!

The problem...

We met on a dating site but we were not the most active users! I'd totally forgotten I was still a member until tonight when I suddenly remembered so I went on to delete my profile! When I checked to see if she was still a member I discovered that she has blocked me from viewing her profile!!! Apparently starting about 3 days ago! So I quickly delete my profile and create a bogus profile which bypasses the block! The block is meant to show that she is no longer a member but she is still very much an active user and was trying to hide it!

What should I do?

I possibly did an AFC move because I just sent her a text saying that "I went on to delete my profile and noticed that you had blocked me?? That's quite random and hurtful"

She has just replied saying that she has not blocked me and is claiming innocence!

What to do guys??

Firstly, the bogus account was a bad first move... spying on your GF always ends badly if you are right or wrong about your assumption.

Whenever something like this happens, you have only one real option - go direct about it. Trying to sneakily find out form her will just make you look paranoid.

"You know that dating site we met on, do you still use it?" - you can then talk about it depending on her answer, either way it goes if you haven't already asked it is worth asking her the big question "do you consider us to be in an exclusive relationship?" - that is assuming that is what you want.

Madals

Thanks for the advice! I know the bogus account was a bad move!

I asked her straight out and she says that she must of blocked me by accident! I reckon that's bullshit though! I think she wanted it to appear like she had left the site. She says she is really sorry ect but my trust is a bit ruined now! With it only being about two months I'm tempted to dump her and cut my losses. It's just a shame as it was going really well!

No need to over-react. Have you asked her if you are exclusive or not? Often at the start of relationships especially a lot of trouble comes from neither side properly discussing WHERE THE RELATIONSHIP is at/going.

To her, you may still just be "dating" and getting to know eachother so it is perfectly acceptable to keep meeting other guys and going on other dates where as you are clearly viewing it as being an exclusive boyfriend girlfriend situation - if you haven't discussed it and just assumed that she knows you get issues like this

If this is the first thing that has happened to make you question your trust in her, then give her the benefit of the doubt for now as it could have genuinely been a mistake.

Yea we had the exclusive talk about a week ago and the block came a few days ago! She keeps on saying it must be a mistake but she said she hadn't been on in ages and I said that it said she was on two days ago! Hardly ages!

I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt but I don't want to be walked over and be treated like a chump!

I'm with Madals, if it makes any difference. Her explanation makes sense to me, so don't fret. If it becomes a habit of hers to be sneaky, deal with it then. You'll have many, many episodes like this where there are two possible explanations (or more) for something--that is just a natural part of being in a relationship... if things are going well for you two, let it ride.

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- Lux et Veritas -

Dump her!...Its good that you learned that she can`t be trusted early. Now use that fake account to find your next girl.

There's no way she "accidentally" blocked you--this is pure BS. Think about the steps you'd have to go through to block one particular user. That's not something that happens from accidentally clicking the wrong button. It's also far too coincidental that this occurred right after the exclusive talk, although I am wondering how you know when she blocked you, since you said you haven't been on the site in ages until this time. Are you positive she blocked you after the exclusive talk?

Now onto what this may mean....that's harder to say. She may just like hanging out on the site and didn't want you to get the wrong idea, or she may not consider the two of you as exclusive as you think. Either way, here are the facts: she's lied to you twice now, first about accidentally blocking you and second about when she was last on the site.

I'm not saying you should break up with her because of these things--people sometimes choose to lie not because they're really doing anything wrong but because they're anticipating a poor reaction. Only you can determine what your boundaries are and whether any of this crosses them.

Good luck.

I'm pulling the no contact thing with my ex to try and get back with her I havent called txted or tried facebooking her. The problem is we are both in a marching band and see each other almost every day. I don't look her way or talk to her. We also both have similar friends in our social circle. How can I apply no contact with my ex if I see we see each other everyday? I want to make her bealive that I don't need her and I truly feel Tht I don't but I would like to win her back. I've been looking at other options as well. Any comments would be helpful.

Oh yea, there's no doubt in my mind that it was no accident! She was quite defensive when I brought it up which for me is often an indicator that a girl has been caught out. She was apologising left right and centre but she was wording it like "I honestly didn't mean to block you but I'm sorry if I did! It's was a complete accident and I'm really sorry!! Please don't be mad"

She started saying that she would have no motivation to block me and that I was special to her as she had never had sex so soon within a relationship! She then proceeded to delete her account!


My conclusion is to un-invest myself emotionally but keep the relationship going just to see what happens. She made the effort to delete the profile without me asking and it's the only way I would of moved forward with her anyway! The sex is good and I'm wanting to learn how to best handle things with future woman so I'm staying with her for practice!

Maybe thats a bad thing to do but I do like her so I'm not closed to the idea of thinking about her more seriously in the future. I'll be on the lookout for more trustworthy woman in the meantime!

You guys think this is a smart move?

dump her ass without saying a word

don't trust women so easily

also, never initiate the "exclusive" talk.

ever.

let her.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

It's good that she deleted the profile without your asking, although the cynical side of me says she'll just create a brand new one that you don't know about.

I don't know...maybe it was all harmless and you have nothing to worry about. If you find out she's created a new profile, though, I'd get rid of her immediately.

Bogus account was a bad mov

Dude, I'm with MACK 2.0 on this one. Dump her. Straight up, no fucking about, just stop all contact, ignore her and make it your mission to fuck another girl within a week. Forget her. She'l seriously fuck your head up. If it bothered you enough at this early stage to go to the extent of creating a fake account, then imagine how much she will fuck with your head 10 months or even 2 years down the line. Trust me I've been there several times and each time nearly brought me to ruin. Cut her off and fuck some other dame next weekend, you'll soon realise how unimportant that girl is in your life. It's not just about acting higher value to get the girl initially, you genuinly have to believe you are higher value. And that kind of behaviour will lower your own value/self esteem. When you have the balls to cut her off at the drop of a hat and go straight out and get another girl, trust me, your value will double and it will be real NOT FAKE and after that the sky's your fucking limit, women will smell it and that broad who's messing you around will be a distant memory.

And yeah...to clarify, she's lying her fuckin ass off, sorry bro, but she is. Move on and best of luck.

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Be the FIRST to sell shovels during a Gold Rush---!___!