problem with other guys please help



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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 2:38 pm 
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hey guys. so today i texted my girlfriend and asked her how her day was. she said she had a great day cuz she met 2 new guys and they are really cool and fun to hangout with. i dont know what exactly i should do about this or how this will end for me. i really like my girl and wanna keep her. any suggestions?


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 4:24 pm 
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A little more information in this case will probably help. For example, how long have you guys been together? What do you guys do when together? (Are you out just trying to have fun, like bowling and stuff, or are you trying to be serious, like dinners and movies, or are you just meeting up for 2 hours every couple of days to have sex?)


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 4:36 pm 
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we just meet to be with eachother pretty much. we have only been dating for a week. we pretty much meet to have fun with eachother


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 5:10 pm 
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Sounds to me like:

1. You essentially just met. You don't have a right to be "jealous" over any of this, and you hardly know her, but you're already calling her your "girlfriend". (Correct me if I've misunderstood. If you dated her for a while before this last week of boyfriend-girlfriend, how long was that?)

2. She's telling you about guys she's met, so she doesn't see you as a boyfriend figure. Even if you're "official" (which I'm unsure of, based on your response), you haven't been giving her the sense that you are in the role of her boyfriend. If you have only met her a week ago, then that's normal, and you shouldn't worry about it.

3. But it's also possible that the above is because you've been friend-zoneded, or are in the process of being friend-zoneded. You say you meet to just have fun and "be with each other", but what indicators do you have that she's attracted to you, have you escalated, and closed her? Have you been demonstrating interest? If not, step on that, pronto!

All in all, here's what the doctor prescribes, based on my understanding of the situation:

Don't worry about these other guys right now. Either she likes them or she doesn't, and there's nothing you can do about that. Besides, getting jealous or upset about it will seriously DLV and prove you as kind of needy, especially when you haven't been with this girl that long. Instead of focusing on her attraction to them, focus on her attraction to you, and make sure that that's in order. Go out, and make sure she's having more fun with you than with them. :wink: And don't forget to escalate and show your interest, so that she'll eventually be afraid that if she's showing interest in other guys in front of you, that she may drive you away (and she won't want that because she likes you more!).


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 11:04 pm 
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no she likes me and i like her and she knows i like her. were official. shes just stupid. and i asked her if she wanted to be with them instead of me, and that its ok if she wants to be with them. she said shed rather be with me and she wouldnt be dating me and be interested in other guys. shes so stupid tho. then i was like just break up with me if u like them. and she said i dont wanna. do u want me to. and i said idk. ill sleep on it and get back with you in the morning. i didnt break up with her. idk if i should do something about this or not tho.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 11:41 pm 
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no she likes me and i like her and she knows i like her. were official. shes just stupid. and i asked her if she wanted to be with them instead of me, and that its ok if she wants to be with them.
Of course it's ok if she wants to be with them; she doesn't need your permission for this, most especially after a week of dating.
Quote:
she said shed rather be with me and she wouldnt be dating me and be interested in other guys. shes so stupid tho.
Why? If she's so stupid, why are you dating her?!
Quote:
then i was like just break up with me if u like them. and she said i dont wanna. do u want me to. and i said idk. ill sleep on it and get back with you in the morning. i didnt break up with her. idk if i should do something about this or not tho.
If she didn't like these other guys before, she probably will now. And if she doesn't, I'd question her self-esteem. No woman in her right mind would stay with a guy who not only brought up talking to other guys a week into dating, but kept pushing the issue and then playing the threat of a break up because of it.

With all due respect, you have some serious work to do with your game.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 4:57 am 
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what do u think i should have said instead?


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 11:55 pm 
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camus 154 is right... Sorry mate but you did not play this well at all.

When she mentioned that she met two cool guys initially you should've just said something like "really? that's awesome" then moved right along to the next topic. You should be alpha and know that she wants you and not feel threatened by other guys. She just hung out with them, its not like they had a crazy 3some with her every orifice getting pummeled. Her telling you she met these guys sounds like a bit of a shit test to me, especially this early in the relationship, I'm sorry to say, you failed bro.


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