If you are meeting a girl from online for the first time, and she lives on the other side of the city, do you make her come to you, or meet halfway, or go out to her? It's probably an hour 1 way even though it's geographically close.

It seems like I came across a lot of advice on some forums or sites in the past that said the alpha thing is to make them come out to you. Other tips like this have backfired on me recently (like asking them out after 3 messages online). What's best practice on meeting up the first time? Got 2 that are on the other side of town wanting to meet up after work.

Meet her in a public place. I do that most of the time. Women will feel more secure about meeting a strange person for the first time if they can easily leave when they want.


The past three online dates I've been they've came to my place, tho. The first two cuz I live near a theme park, that was our destination. I did however, give them the option of meeting up.

The third was an outright let's get busy date. We went to dinner, then drinks at my place.

Don't over think being alpha, that is not alpha behavior.

word. I always meet em in public except for the special cases like you said.

yeah - sometimes I get to overthinking it. good advice.

Yep, we all over think this stuff. But that's why we make afc's jealous.

TBH I don't really think it matters where you meet. I think people tend to over-think the whole "I'm gonna make them come to my turf so I can show how Alpha I am!" thing.

In my experience (I'd guesstimate I've met ~25ish girls from PoF) the two things that matter are 1) proximity to either your place or her place and 2) that you establish comfort with her, with #2 being the absolute most important. It doesn't matter what neighborhood you're in- if she's not comfortable she's not going anywhere but home, alone.

I'd liken the whole "my turf" thing to home-field advantage in a baseball game- while it's always nice to sleep in your own bed and be familiar with your own ballpark, plenty of teams are more than capable of playing on the road, and some teams even do better. In fact, it's my experience that most girls are even more skittish when they're not in their own neighborhood for the first meeting- they're less likely to want to go home with you etc. I've been MUCH more successful getting girls to invite me back to their place after meeting up locally in their neighborhood.

Just be comfortable with yourself, be comfortable with her and don't try to push an agenda on her if she's not receptive to it.

I'd definitely shy away from "meeting in the middle" though. A) she's not going to drink much if she knows she has to drive B) the longer the drive from the bar/place you meet to the other persons house, the more time she's going to have to build limits and barriers in her head and C) being close means worst case scenario you can catch a cheap cab if you both want to drink more than 1-2!

Thanks Kev.

This most recent one looks to be the hottest girl I've ever met from online. She suggested we meet halfway...I agreed (before reading this). Funny thing is - in actuality where we set it up is prob. 3x closer to my place. She knows where I live. Anyway, game on. cheers .