So me and my girlfriend have been together for about 6 years now and have been living together for about a year and the interest level is starting to drop off.

We still have fun together and shes still pretty into me but the little surprises she used to organise for me no longer exist and she not as affectionate as she used to be.

Now the sex is still pretty regular 3-4 times a week but blowjobs have cut off completely when they used to be very regular.

I call her maybe 1 out of every 5 times she calls me and shes always the one texting me.

Anyone got any advice here? to get the interest level back up and also getting more bjs would be good to

Put more effort into your relationship. Call her more often, for no other reason than to check up on her and see how she's doing.

And don't worry about getting your bjs, but rather focus on doing what makes her happy. I'm not suggesting you turn AFC and become her bitch or something, but be concerned about her and what she's up to/wants. If you make her happy, she'll be much more motivated to make you happy.

Having had this girlfriend for 6 years, you should be showing her that you really appreciate her. Some guys on this forum think that giving a girl flowers or taking her out for some special event she would enjoy and such is AFC. That's bull. They just don't know how/when to do it properly. But at the point when you've known this girl for 6 years, it's time to start kicking some of these things up a notch, especially if you've noticed interest dropping off.

I don't know what you've been doing so far along these lines, but try doing a bit more of it, and tell me if that doesn't help!

Thanks for the reply fresh prince.

Will try calling her a bit more often.

Should have added this to the first post as well but I have been doing a few things to show her I appreciate her. For example a few weeks back I knew she was having a hard week so got her her favorite bottle of wine got her to sit down and relax while I cooked dinner and gave her a night off.

Also organised a surprise weekend getaway for us this weekend and have a sliding date night.

Another thing I should note is she has been asking for a quite a bit more I usually jokingly say yes mam and salute her. She laughs it off.

Hey this is good. I'm actually enjoying this topic because I've seen so much emphasis on getting a relationship. Anyway, back to the topic:

I agree with fresh prince on appreciating her more. That's good that you're planning things and doing it together. I actually recommend doing that. Plan and do things together and make memories out of it. If you guys ended up doing the same things, look for things together or you be the man and do all of the planning. Make a scapbook together about everything that you guys do together so that you guys can look back and appreciate all of the times that you guys have gone through. Little things like that.

I also agree on not focusing on the bj's, that will come automatically when you make her feel loved, appreciated, and sexy. Listen to her more, I don't mean have her talk and doze or thinking about other things. Really listen, smile, make comments, ask questions, look at her eyes and listen. Girls want to feel appreciated and important, and one of the things that help them feel this way is by listening to what they gotta say. Show them some love. Hug them randomly, kiss them on the forehead, smell their perfume off their neck, randomly hump her, I don't know. Be random, but at the same time just have fun. If one day you just tell her to clean herself so you can totally ravish her or eat her out and show her that you have the desire to please the fuck out of her, then more than likely she will be receptive and responsive to your needs. You gotta be the man and lead, don't control, lead. Once she sees that you take the initiative and put in effort like the fresh prince suggests, she will see it and respond to you as well. Good luck bud'

- Nelson

_________________
F*ck it, let's do it

"In order to fill your cup, you must first empty your cup" - Bruce Lee

"Becoming great with women is a by product of becoming great yourself" - Cory Skyy

Then it sounds like you're doing alright.

You said she used to plan special events for you, and it may have been that before you weren't reciprocating as much as you are now. I know that when I'm in a relationship, I'm usually the one pulling things along (lame, I know ), and it can get tiring when not appreciated.

It sounds like you're on the right track, though, so keep it up, and I'm sure her battery will be fully recharged before you know it!

What do you mean by she's asking for a bit more? Is she literally sitting you down and asking that you pay a little more attention or put a little more effort in? If so, then you've got a keeper, because 99% of women just expect you to know how they're feeling, and it can be hard some times. This really demonstrates tat she wants it to work out, so as long as you show effort in complying with her needs, then you'll be fine.

Thefreshprince got this handled. I give you my respect.

_________________
F*ck it, let's do it

"In order to fill your cup, you must first empty your cup" - Bruce Lee

"Becoming great with women is a by product of becoming great yourself" - Cory Skyy

Thanks guys I have actually learned a lot from the points that have been made here.

Its my first serious relationship so its been a bit of a learning curve. I probably do need to listen a bit more other than that just be my usual fun happy self.

Agree on the I wasn't reciprocating before hand. Like last year she organised a threesome and then on my birthday organised a motel room for me and her just little things like that but I didn't really show her how much I appreciated it or really reciprocate.

When it comes to asking for more. Its more like 'babe can you do this'. Shes always told me how she is feeling and that's one thing I love about her.

You're doing fine. Congratulations, and best of luck.

Nnguy is also right about the small stuff. Don't just do the big stuff, small stuff as he suggests, like random hugs, can help a lot, too (sometimes, more than big ticket items!). Maybe just out of the blue, suggest that you pick up her dry cleaning, or do some small chore that you could handle, and give her the time off.

The important thing is that, unlike most guys on here, you are definitely willing to put in effort, and she looks like she is willing to, as well. You guys are going be fine!

Yep, you are doing pretty well. Good luck and keep us updated.


- Nelson

_________________
F*ck it, let's do it

"In order to fill your cup, you must first empty your cup" - Bruce Lee

"Becoming great with women is a by product of becoming great yourself" - Cory Skyy

You dude keep it up....Do that which she liked it

Hi Guys,

So I was following all this advice and things were going great for a while. I even got BJ's for a bit.

Then one night I tried to initiate sex (She always initiated) and she said she was tired so I tried I said thats cool gave her a kiss and went off to sleep. I tried this another 3 times each time with the same excuse and each time I said its cool gave her a kiss and went off to sleep (Not reacting to it).

Now she won't even initiate sex with me let alone have sex when I really want to. She has also become really bossy. I took her aside in the weekend and said in a very calm and mature way "I love the way you appreciate everything I do and the way you do little things for me like have a surprise dessert when I get home but lately I feel like you have been quite bossy and disrespectful" She wasn't quite so Bossy after this.

Did I handle that correctly what do you guys think about the no sex situation?

Can you fill us in on what else went on since the last posts? I've been scanning them and need an update to keep the story current. What did you try? How did she react? Has she continued doing things for you, or has it just flip-flopped in its one-sidedness?

Yep sure can over the last while I've had sliding date nights set up. we've been to the movies, golf driving range and laser tag (All things we enjoy).

I've also made an effort to really listen and give little spontaneous hugs and kisses.

Intimacy is still there we still cuddle and kiss a lot. But the other night she said if I initiate sex that it feels like I pressure her and that I shouldn't initiate sex.

The little things she does for me have tapered off quite a bit other than that things seem great we still talk well and the intimacy is still there just the sex thats lacking and if I initiate it makes her feel pressured so I've left it at that at the moment.

Advice here?

you don't need to pretend like she's not there, and that you don't care about her so much.

You have already made her feel attracted to you..

Now work on your emotional connection..


And furthermore, I'd try to change regularly the way you are.

I had a gf for some time... and we discussed what was wrong, we were starting to get enough from each other [still an AFC evolving back then..] Some stuff changed and the interest went up a LOT. Maybe even more that in the beggining. Suddenly it all started to feel good

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In AFC Jail (x

Dude,

How DID you initiate the sex?



While I'm waiting for a reply to the first question, let me point out. If you initiate sex, she gives you an excuse like I'm tired, (which sometimes mean I'm not in the mood) don't fucking kiss her then say good night. You know what's going through her head when you said that, it'll be something like, "yeah.... thought so...." Every time she tells you "I'm tired" to have you say good night then roll over and sleep, she has become conditioned by you. When she is conditioned enough to predict your actions before you even do them, you have become predictable my friend, and when that happens.... boredom usually emerges.

If she tells you "I'm tired" and you do what you do, that doesn't show that you're considerate or loving. It shows her that you want her, but you're not man enough to take the lead, because you said she usually initiates it right? If she usually initiates it, and when you took the lead, she's not used to that. She's afraid that she's not going to be satisfied because things aren't going her way. That's where you have to come in and be a man, and be like, you know what? You're my woman, I'm a man, and I don't give a fuck if you want to do it your way. I am going to do it my way, my style, and you will love the sex as much as I do. Don't tell her by words, show her this by your actions. Go in there and tame her. When she sees that you can resist her like that right after she gave you an excuse, she will feel unattractive and not desirable. She will think, "wow.... he just acted like that when he just tried to initiate sex... did he not really want it?" She'll question herself by your actions. Don't ever.....do what you did again. That puts out the wild fire.

If it's not too late, I want you to initiate sex again, but before you do, please tell us how you go about doing it. As for her excuse, I don't give a fuck what her excuses are.

My gf used to tell me, "I'm tired baby...." and you know what, I understand she's tired. I know she's being honest about it, because she has a long day in class, and the professors a douche. I know she's tired. but you know what? I'M NOT TIRED! I want to have fun, and I can't let her go to bed not touched and not satisfied. If I let her go to bed without experiencing a little touch of heaven then I will feel like I'm not doing my job as her man and my manhood is going to be questioned.

You know what I do? I say, "awww, okay babe. Go to bed, I'll give you a "massage" " I'll give her a massage, but not the kind that puts her to sleep, the kind that will make her hot. I'll do it veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery sloooowly. I'll tease her, I won't touch her in the sexual spots, breast, pussy, etc. I do it on the safe spots, but very sensually. Sometimes I don't even do massages, I just lay next to her, and start stroking her back with my fingertips. Touch her!!!

She might say no, but her body will say yes!!! Action speaks louder than words. If she says no, but her body is responsive, and if she tells you that she's tired, and you touch her and not push her too hard and she lets you, my friend, it doesn't matter how tired she is, she is turned on, her panties wet, and she is wide awake right now. You will notice by the way she breathes by the way she twitch, you would just know. This is when you stroke her more firmly, smell her neck, tell her how good she smells, show her that you're not afraid of being a man and show her that you can please her sexually if she lets you. Seduce the woman!!!!! Don't be the one to initiate the sex though, you initiate the foreplay, which is basically initiating the sex, now you gotta wait for her to make her move.

And when she fucking jumps you like a wildcat, because you've been tugging a yarn in front of her, sex will be crazy and it will be beautiful my friend.


Don't think too much, just be in the moment. You don't have to follow whatever I said word for word, but I want you to see an example of what to do. If you are in the moment and your objective is to please her sexually and tease her bits by bits not to feed your ego but because you HAVE the desire to please your woman, she will fucking love you!

I can guarantee 100% and no money back!

Trust me, and I am still waiting for your answer to my question.



- Nelson

_________________
F*ck it, let's do it

"In order to fill your cup, you must first empty your cup" - Bruce Lee

"Becoming great with women is a by product of becoming great yourself" - Cory Skyy