Ok so I've been seeing this girl for a couple of months and we get on awesome, always have a rad time together, see her 2-3 times a week and she often stays over. We both seem pretty into it she always mentions how lucky she is blah blah.

Anyway my issue is she is going away on holiday in a month and she will be gone for 13 weeks, she has had this trip planned since before we started seeing each other so I always knew it was coming. The holiday is a trip through Europe involving sightseeing and also a lot of partying, drinking etc. I'm not sure what to do with our relationship when she is gone. When she first asked me what we'd do I told her we'd just be single when she goes overseas and then give it another shot when she gets back if we were both still willing, I also made sure to stress the point that I think she should be single because I don't want her to feel restrained or held back on this trip which she has had planned for ages. She didn't really say anything after this so I couldn't read if she thought it was a good idea or not.

I thought this was the right thing to do then I told my mate and he said it was a stupid idea and that 13 weeks is not that long to wait... But it is a fairly new relationship, by the time she leaves we would've only been together for about 16 weeks anyway.

What would you guys do in this situation?

i think you handled it brilliantly.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

You played Alpha male, good job.

awesome, thanks for the feedback. What would you say if she suggested we stay together and try the long distance thing while she's away? If I was willing and she suggested it do you think it would be wise? Personally I'm not too fussed either way.

so update on the situation, the last few weeks we've become even closer and things seem to be going really well, I know she's really into me. I haven't brought up the topic of what we're going to do with our relationship while she is gone however she brought it up the other night. She asked me what I wanted to do and I said that I'd be happy to break if off while she's gone so she can party and go nuts and I'd also be happy to stay together and wait till she gets back, do the whole LDR thing. I told her I don't mind either way.

She then said she doesn't want anyone but me and doesn't want to hook up with anyone whilst she's overseas and that the thought of breaking up till she gets back makes her feel sick. After she said this I asked her what she wanted to do and she said she didn't know... Do you think she was just wanting me to say "lets stay together"??? I was really confused by this. Should I just take the reigns and say "lets stay together" or do you think I'm misreading this?

If she suggests a LTR and you want then go for it

Personally an LTR doesn't sit with my current lifestyle and stage in life. I am a perpetual traveller so find myself saying good bye to girls around the world. Being constantly on the move basically precludes a committed relationship. So if I am with a girl I want to be 'with' her and see her often. If we are not in the same location then what do we have? Who knows when I will be back in that location again. I'm very much on my own journey which girls are welcome to star in. Or they are welcome to take on a more major role and come travelling with me

Last week I said good bye to a girl I've been seeing for a little over a month. We left it as an open relationship. Interestingly this was the 'contract' when we were living in the same city. I didn't get with other girls during this time though as I didn't feel the need (the sex was great and often). Now we are not living in the same place I feel a need. She is the same. So this work's for us in this moment in time and this relationship. But every situation and relationship is different.

If I was in love with said girl and saw a real future then my attitude would probably be different. However if this were the case and I was in a place where I wanted to commit I would shape my life so we weren't long distance.

Play it by ear, be open; you sound like you are already which is cool. From my experience girls really love honest, open minded guys.

LOL! She told you exactly what she wanted, and then right after that you asked her what she wanted!

YES. This is how some girls maintain a submissive frame. They'll tell you exactly what they want, but in an utterly indirect fashion, in order to nudge you in the "right" direction. Of course, then they refuse to commit to an answer. You're just supposed to get it, for better or worse.

You're trying to be the "alpha male" right? Make the decision! You know what she wants. What do YOU want?

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- Lux et Veritas -