so new I don't know the language very well. Willing to learn. Smarter than the average bear. search for resolution of what I now realize is oneitis. Attempted to implement the recommended cure. Realize that I was out-gunned immediately. Have some things working in my favor (decent looks & shape for 47, not afraid to speak, pretty smart, willing to work at it). Have a few things that work against me, introverted, this does not come naturally to me. the pupil has arrived. where is the sensei?

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none are so enslaved as those that falsely believe they are free.

Great thing about forums, is that there is not only 1 sensei. there are multiple points of view that can help you form your own balanced view of your situation.

Now on to my opinion. I dislike the term one-itis, for the fact that there's nothing wrong in having emotional investments in people. It allows for trust in friendship and more. But i see the caution behind the terminology, as it implies a 1 way street. where you're investing alot into one person, whilst they're not investing in you at all. That can be unhealthy as it can cause alot of suffering (as David D. Angelo explained, suffering is agonizing over things that are beyond your capability of changing[like things in the past. things than can't be changed]).

create for us the last time you were out sarging (going out for the purpose of finding a woman to create a connection with) What happened when you found someone worth talking to? did anything hold you back? what did you do to initiate conversation? the more details you can give, the more we have to go on and help out.

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