DAY 69: finally getting organized.
"Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal."

As you know if you've been following me, I've been looking for a good way to achieve my goals and prevent laziness, procrastination and avoidance at all cost. Over the past few months, I stumbled upon several books/video that inspired me to get better at organizing my life and achieving my goals. Without plan, I have no direction, nowhere to go. With a plan and clear step by step actions, chances are, I will stick to the plan, avoid laziness and achieve my goals. Here's a post about how I'm starting to get organized.

Inspiring material.
The following material helped me, take a look at it!
- Video: The Strangest Secret by Nightingale Conant http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... 6921957619 (really inspiring)
- Book: Goals by Brian Tracy http://books.google.com/books?id=3H4mT4 ... &q&f=false (practical book on setting up goals and achieving them)
- Video: Achieving your Childhood Dream by Randy Pausch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo (inspiring material)
- Video: Time Management by Randy Pausch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTugjssq ... ure=relmfu (practical advice on time management)
- Book: 4 Hours Work Week by Timothy Ferris http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/ (practical advice on how to avoid procrastination, set goals and achieve them)

Making a U-turn in my strategy.
As you saw, I set up some goals in previous posts. I wanted to be a man, a real one. I defined what man I wanted to be and write down actions to achieve this goal. Yet, my definition was still unclear... and that's a problem. Without a clear goal, chances are I won't stick to the plan and lose motivation, as Kasabi and Hobbit stated many times in my journal.

Nevertheless, even though my goal was too general, being the man I described in my posts was what I really wanted... but I had no idea how to make everything come together: what I want now, what I want in the long term... That is the reason why I decided to change strategy. I used to set general goals and write down some general actions to achieve them. After reading several books, watching several videos, and getting feedbacks, I decided to completely change strategy.

Instead of focusing in a general goal, I realized that the best way to achieve this main goal (that I will call purpose or worthy ideal from now on) was to set several smaller goals and focus on achieving them. These specific goals are all related to my purpose: being a confident, self-assured, successful, attractive, social and consistent man. Here's the thing. Having several smaller plans and goals not only allow me to focus more on what I have to do, it also allows me to be way more effective at getting things done. This strategy prevents me from being lazy, lost and kills procrastination.

My road map.
I confess this is new to me. To do lists were ineffective, I needed something better to face the new challenges ahead of me... so I worked on it. I came up with an Excel sheet divided in 3 main parts: Having, Being, Doing. This is not perfect (yet), but it's already helping me.
- Having: this part is for the material goals -> stuff I want to have.
- Being: this part is for the self-improvement part -> who I want to be.
- Doing: this part is for the things I have to do -> what I have to do.

Each part has several goals that are divided into several actions with different. deadlines. Not clear? I know. Here's an example in my "doing" part of my Excel file:

Preparing the search for a job:
1 > Creating a Résumé template: 25/07/2011 (2 hours)
2 > Doing Résumé in French: 30/07/2011 (1 hour)
3 > Doing Résumé in English: 30/07/2011 (30 minutes)
4 > Taking a photograph for the résumé: 31/07/2011 (1 hour)
5 > Finalizing Résumé: 31/07/2011 (1 hour)
6 > Looking for cover letter inspiration 31/07/2011 (30 minutes)
7 > Creating a cover letter template 01/08/2011 (1 hour) ...

Here's another example of a "being" goal:
Improving my communication skills:
1 > Finishing reading The Power of Now (1 chapter per week): 31/08/2011
2 > Taking notes of The Power of Now (1 chapter per week): 31/08/2011
3 > Starting a vocabulary notebook (at least 2 pages of vocabulary): 31/08/2011...

When an action is in progress, I put it in light green. Dark green is for completed tasks. For every task (especially in the doing part), I set a timer and compare how much time I took to do a task and compare it to the time I thought I would take. This allow me to witness the time I'm actually saving (source of motivation).


Applying to the game.
My work flow is too important for now, but I confess that I can't wait to apply this to the Game. The Game-related goals will obviously be in the "being" part of my road map. Setting goals with this tool will allow me to get better in social relationships. Soon, one of my goal will probably be to date a girl. You'll be the first to know about that obviously.

Limiting beliefs.
If I put so many time to adopt such an organization, it's because I had some strong limiting beliefs about all this... I thought that rationalizing my life like this will forbid me to do what I want when I feel like doing it. I love to have a walk "just like that". There's nothing wrong about it. What is wrong is to to think that planning and scheduling won't give you the time to do it. On the contrary, adopting a road map will surely allow me to free more time to do what I like.


Nothing will stop me if I stick to my road map!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

I just read all of your updates related to the Brazilian Brunette and I have a few comments and questions.

I'm going to give you some direction so that you can learn from your "mistakes," but do not regret anything that happened between you and her. Don't regret not closing faster or anything like that. Your romance with her was your own.

Remember when 60 Years of Challenge was talking about "need 1" and "need 2?" Need 1 is your lust for sex and need 2 is your desire for affection. They are numbered 1 and 2 to signify an order. 1 comes before 2. You should work on developing your sexual state so that you can access it easier and quicker. Practice it. You should also work on sexual framing. It all boils down to "putting your mind in the gutter" as we Americans say. Be a fucking pervert. Yes, we all want affection and love and rainbows, but all that mushy stuff is so so much better when you've gotten the sex part already taken care of. Be more sexual. It's not so much about having balls as it is just about being honest about your sexual desires... honest to yourself and to women.

I recently had a vacation romance, too. It was absolutely wonderful, we let ourselves fall into the romance completely, and I was very sad when she flew back home. A pretty prominent PUA named Aaron Sleazy read my Lay Report about her and criticized me for missing opportunities to fuck her sooner than I had (we didn't fuck until the third time we met). As much as I respect Sleazy, I didn't regret anything and I thought the seduction was perfect. No one knows the romance and seduction HBVacation and I had better than she and I do. No one knows the romance and seduction Brazilian Brunette and you had better than she and you do. However, I hope you will be open enough to accept that, next time, things can be different. You can be more of a sexual beast.

Also, don't let the "PUA" label hinder your enjoyment of women. If you and a woman are being affectionate with each other, don't confuse your affectionate feelings toward her as neediness. Enjoy the moment in whatever you can because you're never going to get that moment back. It is more important to be a "lover" than a "PUA."

I was very disappointed that you did not tell us what Brazilian Brunette wrote in her secret letter to you. What did it say?

Also, what do you/did you really feel about her? Be honest!

Another thing: If you only last 5 minutes the first time you fuck, and if you already know that you can eventually get hard again and fuck her for a longer time the second time in the same night, there's no need to worry. If you and the girl can still enjoy each other, it doesn't matter if you only lasted 5 minutes the first time. The memories that she will treasure the most are the experiences she enjoyed the most, which likely involve the sex from round 2.

@Chief.

Thanks Chief for posting in here
Indeed Chief. I don't regret anything with her. Yet, I can't lie about something, I was a bit lost. I was torn between the PUA non-exclusive/abundance idea and the affection I had for her. At some point, I realized I would feel uncomfortable kissing or seeing another women because I knew it would hurt her. Was this AFC? I don't think so... Yet, it's against the whole abundance theory. This is just a taste of how I felt... the need to game and man the fuck up versus the whole feeling guilty stuff?
Got you Chief. It was actually a sticking point for me at the beginning: feeling horny as your guide to outer game recommend it. I got better at it though. Even if it still a bit hard for me to escalate for a kiss... once I've kissed, I'm quite good at escalating to sex for what I've seen. Yet, being horny is a clear advantage when going for it. I'll focus on that while gaming.
Thanks for sharing. I do think it's not everything about sex, even though sometimes, it's better to cross the sexual rubicon as soon as we can. Yet, each relations are different indeed. To be honest, I was not looking for a relationship, but I was not capable of seeing another girl without feeling like an asshole. I did not manage the expectation as I should have done... mostly because a part of me wanted sex and other girls, another part a true relation with Brazilian Brunette.
I agree Chief. But being this lover made me stay in a relationship I did not enjoy and got my ass dumped. That's why I'm a bit cautious about all this. I don't want to fall into AFC mode again.
I won't write it here. As you've just said, it was a romance between me and her. I would feel a bit guilty about publishing that. But it blew me. I feel pretty stupid leaving her like that. It made it really hard for me to leave Brazil.
Truth is, I tried my best to be careful about my feelings. But yeah, even though I did not want a serious relationship in the beginning, I could not help. I quickly had affection for her. Was I in love with her? no, but I cared a lot. To be completely honest, the fact that I was leaving helped me on that. I was having serious relationship interactions while I was not looking for any engagement. I'm not used to non serious relationship... but I don't regret anything.
That's what I realized later. It was not a big deal since I was ready to get back on the horse right after. I was more ashamed for the ONS... lol. But whatever. :p

Thanks for your insights Chief. It's appreciated.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Being a PUA, being a lover, being a seducer, being a man, being a "real man" ... These are all really saying the same things.

I'm not sure how you were with your ex-girlfriend, but be careful not to confuse "lover" and "provider."

A lover of women... That's what a pickup artist is, as a musician loves music. A true lover is anything but an AFC. No average and frustrated guy has a genuine concept of love and passion at all.

I think those abundance-vs-exclusivity things will become clearer once you release more of your inner sexual beast.

After you work a bit more on sexual state and sexual frame, the next thing I recommend you look into is Zan Perrion.

@Chief.

I was indeed a provider in the long run in this relationship.

I guess everything (lover, seducer, man...) will soon come together as I gain experience in all this.

I'll take a look at Zan Perrion.

Daniel..

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

So this is the place where i can find you! lol jk


Great stuff daniel! as i read your post i also gain more knowledge..
keep it coming and goodluck





-TheNaturalPlayboy

_________________
Sometimes when i'm with my chick on the low, I'm a flirt.

Daniel,

Don't start with ZP yet, only after your sexual frame is strong. Else you won't comprehend his teachings and lessons. It's a really strong inner connection with your sexual side that you must have before you continue in this path.

As due to what Chief said - I agree with the above statements. Don't be confused about 'labeling' yourself or following others advise. Eventually - you shape your own world and it's filled with your desires.. sexual or not, don't be afraid to communicate them to the other personalita around.

≠ LD

_________________
Founder & coach at Dance 2 Seduce -- contact me for more information.

FREE coaching advice on Fridays from 22PM to 23PM at the MPUA chatroom.

Quick Update.

I feel great. As I told you before, I thought being back in Paris would be really hard for me. Truth is I've been surprisingly consistent and positive lately.

A tremendous change.
The negative voices are still here of course, but they're not affecting my state: I don't let them take control. There's no vicious cycle anymore. I've never been less insecure in my life even though I have to face a lot of new challenges. I went to a Brazilian restaurant with some friends. I was in a really good state: dominant, funny... I did not game though.

But something else has changed. I don't want to go back on gaming because I feel a need to do it, but because I actually enjoy it. It's fun to me and I like pushing myself. I'm actually happy about being single. I think this is an important change that will allow me to make my game skyrocket.

Having a direction.
I don't really know how to explain that. Stopping masturbation? Having a planning? Getting girls in Brazil? I don't really know but I'm still sticking to the plan and getting things done to improve myself. I work out, I focus on observing my negative thoughts, I do what I like... It feels good to have direction. I need to make it a habit.


I'm slowing starting to get things done thanks to my planning. It feels great.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Daniel,

Just one of many supporters here. I just want to say I've been reading stuff on this site for a few weeks now but your thread is by far the most insightful(to me anyways). Also seeing all the responses from the experienced members on here has allowed me to understand things more. I especially like how everyone does not really sugarcoat any reply(especially kasabi LOL). Anyways, keep on your path to accomplish your goals!

-Koa

@TheNaturalPlayboy & Koa.

Thank you guys. YES! I'm keeping on.
After slowing down a little, I getting back on tracks in the game aspect of my journey.

A new chapter is coming soon.

@LyricalDream.

Chief recommended that I work on my sexual state and I think he's right. Be sexually charged can only help me going for it. Yet, I'll take a look at 'ZP' later and try to figure out my own solutions.

On another note, going out trying to be a PUA is the best way to a fail indeed. But going out, having fun and enjoying myself is a winner.

Daniel..

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

This new chapter sucks. There's nothing in it

DAY 70: Planning the coming back on the Game.
I'm not that bad at it!

Welcome to this new chapter which is actually part of a bigger impulse to get organized and better at achieving my goals. In a previous post, I wrote about my U-turn in my strategy. Instead of having a general goal, I'll have now smaller goals and plans related to a general purpose (being a man).

To begin with, I would like to come back a little on what I've achieved and learned from friends in Brazil. Here's my to-do list for this report.

- What did I achieve? A look back on my journey.
- What did I learn from my "natural" friends in Brazil.
- What I learn from my success in Brazil.

____________________________________________________________________

A look back on my journey.
70 days. Let's take a look at the principal milestones I've achieved during these 7 months of "gaming". For those who are just beginning to follow this journal, you should take a look at this. (eg Chief?).

CHAPTER 1:
DAY 1:I join the community after a break-up.
DAY 2 to 4: I start approaching, trying to be more social but I have few results. I'm too negative and my ex is haunting me.
DAY 5: First (but ridiculous) number close. I tried the "indirect to direct" approach as suggested but was not confident at all. Got the number though. I send a text, that's all.
DAY 6 and 7 (Christmas): No sarging. I stay home, read material and start thinking about what I really want from this journey.
DAY 8 to 11: Getting back on sarging, first meditation session. I'm approaching, have "okay" interactions but still a lot of approach anxiety but I'm pushing myself. First big rejection, my state did not survive. I'm focus on the attitude: kino, smile, eye-contact... too much mechanical though.
DAY 12 and 13: I start to realize that day game might be too hard to begin with, I'm contacting girl friends to practice my social and game skills. I'm getting better at the push&pull, kino, and DHVing. I'm introducing my friends to other friends... I know it's giving me value to activate social dynamics. I start sarging with a friend, we start challenging ourselves to approach.
DAY 14: I'm seeing an old high school crush and apply what I've learned on her. She ends up criticizing her boyfriend for like one hour while I'm getting her investing in me. I have power.
DAY 15 to 17: I'm being more and more social. I go to a birthday party with my friend, I don't know anyone but focus on meeting everybody and being social. I meet a gorgeous girl there. I number close her by saying that I'll send the link to my facebook profile. I showed no real sexual interest in her. I found the balls to text her the day after: she pretends to not even remember me.
DAY 18 and 19: I meet with my high school crush again. I focus on being sexual and maintaining the tension. I'm making her nervous. I start to think I'm ready to go back on day game.
DAY 20 and 21: I'm way down in the hole. Day game was a failure and I start having serious family issues that brings me down like never.
DAY 22 and 23: My family issues made me more aggressive. I approach a set of three girls in a bar and spend more than one hour speaking with them.
DAY 24 to 26:I realize negativity and masturbation are burdens. I start thinking about what's going on in my head. I have no balls to go for it and it makes me mad. I make a personal commitment to improve myself. I won't give up.
DAY 27 to 31:I start having social interactions with hired guns and getting more confident about small talks but every time I try to be a PUA and focus on approaching I fail.

CHAPTER 2:
DAY 32:Thanks to kasabi, I start getting organized just before going to Brazil. I have directions, finally.
DAY 33 to 37:I'm going out with a plan now, my game is getting better but I'm still too insecure.
DAY 38:First day in Brazil. I stumbled upon a picture of my ex with her new boyfriend. It made me more aggressive towards my goal. I go out out and number close Little Miss Sunshine (but have no Brazilian number).
DAY 39 to 40: I call her but she had to end up the phone call. I'm struggling trying to get a date with her. I'm not putting enough efforts in it. When she's not flaking, I refuse to meet her
DAY 41:I facebook close a girl in the bus. I'm feeling really good. The interaction was so C&F that other people in the bus were actually having fun thanks to me.
DAY 43:I facebook close a cutie in a cold approach: Miss Sunset. One of my best approaches, I even seed an event.
DAY 44 and 45:I'm having fun in Brazil. I go to a street carnaval, approach 2 girls and number close one.
DAY 47: I go wild. I number close another girl. I'm starting to see it's to easy to be good game. Is something wrong?
DAY 48:I'm starting to make some friends in Brazil. Go out with a Canadian and approach three girls out of the blue.
DAY 49: I discover my ex is now engaged 6 months after leaving me. I relapse and take a break on journaling. I decide to unfriend my ex on Facebook.

CHAPTER 3.
DAY 50: As I did in DAY 32, I take a break to think about my goals.
DAY 52: I approach a law student and number close her.
DAY 53 to 54: I'm getting better in party environment. I do 3 numbers closes but realize I'm sabotaging myself when it comes to get dates. I grab my balls and call the Smiling Artist to ask her out.
DAY 55: I'm out at the museum for a date with Smiling Artist. She came with a guy which turned out to become her boyfriend later. I laughed about it.
DAY 56 to 58: I'm having fun in parties, tried to kiss close two girls. I'm getting close to Princess but I can't figure her out. I spend 3 hours in a date with her without doing anything. I'm getting more balls out of this though and try to kiss close another girl at another party.
DAY 59: New number close: Japanese Architect.
DAY 60: I have tons of numbers but don't have the balls to take actions. I number close Gerontology Girl and ask her out. I ask Japanese Architect on a date but she flaked. I go in a bar and meet U2 fan: number close.
DAY 61: I go on a date with Gerontoly Girl but I realize she's too young for me.
DAY 62: I go to Rio de Janeiro with some friends and have some fun there. I meet some girls but am unable to escalate. I number close one though. I'm feeling down and lose motivation.

CHAPTER 4.
DAY 61 to 62: I go out with friends, have fun, make out with British Girl and close her the next day.
DAY 63: I kiss close German Girl who left his boyfriend even though I'm in a AFC phase.
DAY 64 to 65: I'm out, partying with friends when I meet Brazilian Brunette, I kiss close and number close. I'm in a date with her the day after in a park.
DAY 66 to 67: I try to go deep and analyze what motivates me in general. I don't feel like gaming other girls while I'm in a relationship with Brazilian Brunette.
DAY 68 to 69: I'm back in France. Brazilian Brunette gives me a gift and a letter before leaving. I meet my ex for the first time in more than a year. I'm okay. My state survives to this but I'm disappointed by her attitude. She's totally indifferent and don't show any interest in me even though we've been two years together. Is it normal? Or is this rude? I don't really care anymore. I'm not attracted to her at all anymore. But I thought I could get a good friend out of this, I was wrong.

____________________________________________________________________

Some statistics.
Joining the community: December 18th.
Number closes: 17.
Girls I've asked out: 5 (29% of all my number close).
Kiss close: 3 (2 before even number closing, 1 after).
Full close: 2 (1 ONS, 1 relationship).

Now from the beginning:
Citizenship: French, Spanish, Brazilian, British (International pimp? :p)
Number: 4 girls (3 relationships, 1 ONS)

What I've learned.
- I fail when I try to be a PUA, I succeed when I'm myself and have fun.
- Night Game is easier than Day Game (even without dancing skills).
- An attractive lifestyle and a good social circle is a basic support of any good game.
- I have to be my own guru, find my own method and style.
- Hey... I'm not that bad at it damn! :p
- I need to improve my date ratio.

Coming next.
- What did I learn from my "natural" friends in Brazil.
- What I learn from my success in Brazil.


It was time to take a look back and meditate on what I've achieved.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

LET DO THIS!

I'm proud of what you've gone from and where you are now AFCDaniel, maybe you should change your name to KingDaniel or PrinceDaniel or something clear that AFC cuz you know it sets a negative tone meyng. Even though I don't post much here anymore I was there in the beggining cheering you up and I always read your updates all 70 of em and I became a fan of you like how someone's a fan of a sports team. You've grown up a lot and I wish to experience the same growth as yours. What you've gone through is probably what 80% of men are afraid to go through in their lives and you've better yourself. I'm here for the future, of all the fun your going to have I feel like I'm with you, though that sounds weird. Anyways congrats and let the fun begin!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGzq2HQ2YRs[/youtube]

_________________

"We Go Truly Hard, Styles Like Julia"-Hoodie Allen

DAY 71: Learning from the success of my friends.
Being dominant, social, and leading?

I've met some really cool people in Brazil. Among them, there was four guys from whom I could learn some stuff about the Game. All of them had success with girls, yet all of them were really different from one each other. Truth is, I've always wondered about my general attitude: am I too nervous? am too serious? What is a good attitude to game? Well here's a small post on this.

____________________________________________________________________

The French Natural.
He was a social leader. He was the one who organized all the parties. He was having fun and opening like crazy. His style was not that good, but he was the first one going for it. He grabbed girls hand, dance with them... he was not shy at all. He was all about having fun and organizing events. He dated several girls and, even though some of them were not that beautiful, I saw him make out with some models. I also saw him getting rejected a lot, but he did not care at all. Sometimes he would say some really stupid jokes... but whatever, he was saying what came through his mind: he's always entertained people around him.

The Italian Emperor.
I wouldn't say he was shy, but he was introverted for sure. I quickly noticed how calm and mysterious he was. HE was in a relationship at the beginning but he left his girlfriend while he was in Brazil. He had a great style and was a model. I've only seen him with top quality women... but he was not in a "pimpin" attitude. He was quite serious actually and only dated a girl at the time. He's the one who would let you lead the conversation and just participate when he's interested. He did not open at all from what I've seen, he let girls come to him.

The Cool Canadian.
He was really social and everybody liked him. He knew how to party but he was not here to game since he had a girlfriend waiting for him in Canada. Yet, some girls loved him. He was funny and was handsome (I feel a bit gay right now :p ). He has been a really good friend and I totally picture him as the nice cool party guy.

The Italian Technolover.
He was (and still is) in a relationship with a cute Brazilian girl. Like the Cool Canadian, he was fun and social. People came naturally to him. He loved to party and I confess I had a lot of fun with him. He was not shy at all and did not hesitate to friendly open people. He smiled a lot. He had a nice style too now that I think about it. Girls came to him a lot.

____________________________________________________________________

Reflections.
Well the first thing is none of them are boring. They're all fun and know how to party (the Italian Emperor a little less maybe). Most of them were really social and entertaining. While the French Natural opened and got rejected a lot, girls came to the three others. Yet, the French got the most girls out of it. He was the only one with dance skills. When it comes to style, only the Italians were really nicely dressed.

I would say I'm closer to the Italian Technolover. I dress well and can be really friendly. I still have some difficulties to have fun has much as I would like but I will definitely work on being more funny and smiling on all circumstances. On another note, I would like to have the balls of the French Natural when it comes to open and get rejected. His dance skills were also really useful. Something I'd like to definitely do is organizing events and improve my social circles. The Italian Emperor really impressed me whit his attitude. He was calm but introverted, yet he drove the girls crazy. I really liked his style also.

What I've learned.
- Being fun is mandatory to succeed in the Game.
- Good social circles are the support of all great Game.
- Finding my personal style of Game is the best way to suceed.
- MORE FUN DAMN IT.


The French Natural was definitely the life of the party most of the time.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)