Went out with a guy twice. First date, perfect gentleman, only hugged me. A few days later, we hung out at his house, impromptu (I called him first for the record), along w/a few guy friends. He did romantic stuff like holding my hand, kissed me on cheek. But at the end of the night, all he said was that he'd let me know when he & his friends had their next party (never suggested a 1-on-1-date). it took him like 4 days to contact me after that night, & even then it was just 1 text (he won't talk to me on phone). He's busier than anyone I know between classes, soccer, & work, but still. 1 text the whole week... until next Saturday night, when he texted me at 1AM from the bar to ask if I wanted to come over to "hang out."

I agreed to come over because, like I said, he'd never been anything less than a perfect gentleman & I felt comfortable at his place. As soon as we started making out (our 1st time), he asked if I wanted to go upstairs. I said no, it was too soon (I wanted to clarify ASAP, so I would minimize the tease factor). Why did I say that? Once I arrived, I felt a bit turned off & cheapened by the whole idea of a potential booty call, so I didn't want to go through with sex. I had actually wanted a relationship w/this guy. We just stayed on couch and made out for hours. I kept offering to leave afterward, but he wanted me to stay the night & sleep/cuddle (seemed very genuine - wasn't trying anything else).

1 day he said "oh i had been seeing if u were free to meet us up at the blues festival" -- I responded to that text too late. Otherwise he will always respond to my texts, but only if i contact him first. He'll always tell me his schedule for the week (& it's incredibly busy and I know he's not lying about any of it). he'll say things about how we need to figure out plans sometime, but he won't initiate anything specific.

Wondering what to do from here. Maybe he feels so sexually rejected that he's keeping the ball in my court. Sure it seems like a guy who texts u from a bar, to come over in middle of night, doesn't want a relationship with you. But he hadn't been sexual at all the first 2 dates. Maybe he just had some booze & suddenly felt a lot braver/more eager about trying to sleep with me for the first time. If this were true, then I ruined the potential relationship by not sleeping w/him and thus, rejecting him.

So I invited him over my place for a specific night... and he hasn't responded to that text yet. Should I b specific and let him know that I'm looking to finish what we started the other night? don't know what else to do. don't know why he's still keeping in contact, telling me everything he's up to, if he truly isn't romantically interested anymore. And he's never been one to make advance plans anyhow... at ALL... even 3 days in advance.

You're doing fine. See if he responds to your invitation, if not, or he says no, give him one more chance. That second chance should be a text on the night you want to see him, but kind of early, between 6 and 8. Do something, some sort of activity, even if its just going out for a couple drinks then going back to someone's place for a movie. If you invite him to that sort of event, it offers the possibility of sex while still having a date. When the time comes to decide whether or not you want to have sex, decide based on how you feel in that moment, not by any obligation (that he's been expecting it, or that you want him to stick around). If he doesn't have the patience to have some foreplay and get you in the mood, he doesn't deserve it.

If he says he's busy, tell him to text you sometime to hang out and don't bother waiting around after that, it's on him to start it.

Hey thanks. I just got confused bc a few guy friends said, "after u stopped him from going further w/u last time, he'd never dream of putting himself in that situation again." Their advice was to send a very blunt text telling the guy that I intended to sleep w/him next time. I was worried about looking too forward... but yeah, maybe he'll only feel comfortable coming over if he knows what's on the table.