Winterfell

well she probably didn't asked her cousin if it's going to be small or not... she probably invited you first before asking her cousin which makes her a horrible communicator.
if im in your shoes i wouldn't feel accepted.. like you aren't her family or you aren't her boyfriend - that's how i think it feels. you are also over thinking this .. you probably feel bad and you started judging your emotions. try to feel your emotions without judging or thinking about them , just experiencing them and see how that feels.

i think you aren't feeling ditched .. i think you are dissapointed in her for making false promises to you.... actually she should make it up to you according to my opinion. you never have to make excuses for how you feel .. if it doesn't feel right then communicate it to your girlfriend - as long you do it in a non-judgmental way.
how would it feel if you communicate to her that you feel dissapointed about this whole thing. for example dissapointed in her ability to communicate ?

it could be she will start defending when you talk about it ... don't defend or fight back and don't judge her perspective.. just tell her how you feel about it - it's your job to make her understand how you feel.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Lode, first of all thank you plenty you do make things clearer although I still have heavy difficulties in understanding your point. Could you explain this in more simple terms? I have to mention that English isn't my primary language so it may be harder for me to understand than other users. Many thanks again!

P.S : You advised me to talk to her about this problem I am having, but I am worried she would think I am not over my ex which is the last thing I would want her to think.

LY1303

Everything that you are feeling is caused by you...the (external) enviroment does not give you emotions , your enviroment makes you create your own emotions.

your enviroment causes you to generate your own emotions
you always generate ( create ) your own emotions and feelingscreate a distinction right there

you must(should) face the scenario and fear of losing your girlfriend... you have got into a relationship without processing or facing the fact that it can end anyday.
probably you unconciously believe you are not over your ex that's why you are hiding your honesty and emotions from your girlfriend. Actually what you believe or unconciously believe is not the point that's just your own creation. You did not processed/faced your emotions that you have from your previous relationship.

so in some way you are not over your ex, this does not mean you aren't ready for a new relationship. maybe you are still heartbroken.. maybe the same loophole is repeating over and over again ? you cannot really be heartbroken if you aren't in love with someone ? do you see where im coming from , maybe you can tell something about that ?

you are controlled by the fear of losing her.. and this will destroy the relationship, the reason you don't want to tell what you think and feel is because you have created this thought you will lose her. In order to get over your fear you need to do the counter-intuitive on a emotional level... if you don't feel like communicating thruth, honesty about what you really think and feel you will not break that cycle. you need to communicate emotions in a postive mature way by acceptance.

you are just projecting your whole previous experience on your new girlfriend. you want it to be stressed so you don't have to face the same experience like your previous relationship...actually being stressed gives you control because it is a way to avoid to love someone . you told me you were heartbroken but you didn't really love your previous girlfriend...to me it is saying you are running away from your emotions and you are running away from experiences that cause these emotions.

i also see a bit of approval seeking , just because you care what she thinks in advance. your previous girlfriend... didn't you love her or were you just hiding and blocking your emotions ?

did you ever showed real emotions to someone or did you always thought how you feel by judging emotions with labels like anger or anxiety ?

You love this girl ? what is preventing you to communicate to her on a emotional level ? you probably fear the feelings and emotions that are caused by breaking up ( ending the relationship ), but you also fear emotions throughout the relationship

why can't you love her ... you want to know if she cares about you and you keep thinking that. why don't just accept the fact she loves you ? you feeling love towards her should be enough - you create your own feelings and nobody else.

if it doesn't make sense, just reply

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

I am still having difficulties understanding, if it's a bit too far stretched we may continue this in the inbox as I fear I might be taking over your thread.

Anyway I feel as you are helping me a lot to understand my emotions.

First of all I guess I misused the word "heat broken", you know what they say ; the bigger the expectation the bigger the disappointment, well I had very high expectations mostly because she was a good girl who I thought was looking for something serious just like me.

Second, you truly hit my character - I have problems showing and talking about my emotions but I believe I am facing this issue quite well with the current girl.

Third, I whole heartily believe I am over my ex. Instead of agreeing to "stay friends" and get stuck in a situation where she sees me as a friend and I am still crushed on her (seeing this a lot with my friends) I decided to tell her I don't want us to be friends, deleted her from FB, from my phone numbers.
I believe I got my closure when a friend asked me if it would bother him to hit on her and I told him I support it.

(For the record I believe you are correct and very wise when it comes to relationships but like mentioned I feel as I am over my ex but not over the feeling she left me with perhaps)

Thank you once more Lode

Is there a frame work for relationship game? Obviously being a PUA is fine for bagging a lot of girls, but I can't totally reconcile PUA game and potential BF game. The biggest being; you actually care in BF game and there seems to be more emphasis on comfort and rapport building. However, too much of that especially if you are just starting to see someone can seem DLV. Any advice? Framework?

Example: sending a text that says "good luck with (random bad life thing) if you feel down, just think of my fine ass and (random activity you have planned)

These issues also seriously come up if you are dating or just starting to date a girl with strong Alpha tendencies.

M2

you mean if there is a relationship game of which it's values can be combined with a relationship ? pickup and relationships share some aspects...but for the large part they are very different from eachother.

to make a long story shot .. there is no system.. there is no manual for relationships... when im approaching a woman im not thinking about the approach , im not focussing on fear and all that crap. im just thinking if she's relationship material and how she would fit into my life...
im more or less focussing on qualifying , what she's about....

the biggest mistake people make with BF game is showing their emotions in a inproper self fixating way .. they aren't interacting with their emotions. You need to calibrate to the girl on a emotional level in order to find out her emotional needs...

all rapport and comfort building should be focused on founding out who she really is...you don't want to find out 2 months later thats she's a usless zombie when it comes to relationships...all rapport should be done from a '' who are you ? do you fit my needs ? are you relationship material ? i don't want to be wasting time if you aren't'' all things that can DLV you should be done from a position of power.

everything that is '' caring '' should be done because of you .. not because of someone else ..

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

No worries, but there does seem to be a balance between showing interest (which is technically DLV) and maintaining attraction.

One of my biggest problems with this girl is: she is just as Alpha as I am , so I not only have display interest, but also be dominant and somewhat autonomous, which makes getting her to chase me a little harder.

Any advice?

you know what .. tonight im going to talk to a woman who is very very dominant and alpha. i have already some new ideas and im going to test them out. she also is aware of Pu and game thus it will be very hard. i don't want to give the same old answer based on old experiences..im going to test new things out

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

So what did the results reveal?

well ... in ''comfort zone'' i just stimulated her emotions by making jokes, trying to find a common experience... and following up by expressing myself... more like ''BF game''. first i opened her and myself up by having genuine playful conversation.. second i try to find a common experience where we both experienced the same genuine emotions - once we have a mutual emotional interaction i expressed how i felt freely in a more mature way.

i was amazed how she turned into this nice being ... she probably felt i was honest and secure, there was still playful flirting going and some negging but the conversation changed...she probably felt very understood because i focussed more on emotions and less on game - woman are more emotional than men. .. i felt understood as well ... i almost run like zero game ... im amazed. after i while i noticed she was getting used to me communicated emotions. i also think that if you run too much game she will get used to it , and she probably start expecting it.... so instead of getting girls attracted to you ''PU'' side you let her get attracted to your more mature emotional side.

interacting and having fun was my main goal...
trying to maintain mutual attraction while expressing emotions ( more like how you behave in a relationship) was my secondary goal.

seems finding emotional commonality through experiences is a good one...talking and focussing on how you both feel ...still i really recommend you find out what works for you , you need to experience different level of communication.
switching from dating to relationship is all about understanding eachother on a emotional level .. once you got this handled it will go naturally. you can use a simple mindset like i described above or you can just focus and learn massive inner game and mature mastery of your emotions.

you have to understand your emotions and you have to know how to experience you emotions without judging them , if you don't know much about how your emotions work you cannot really communicate on a emotional level to others.

sex bonds on a physical level ..
emotional connection is like a deep level connection...it can be friendship or love relationship.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

hey, so for about a year now iv been learning pua and have become experienced, trew this hole time i was only studying the pickups and never the serious relashinship, so then 5 months agoo, i connected with this girl at school, and we had a thing for a while, me at the time not knowing yet if shes good enaugh for me, made me still date around, and hookup around, which caused lot of drama, long story short, we started dating 2 months agoo, and since i never took interest in relashinships, i was acting all pua, like negs, lot of mindfucking, which lead to me getting dumped after a month, with the reason of being the biggest dick:/ so the day after we broke up, i hooked up with somebody,( mistake obviously) and now she hates me, but still loves me, after all this fkin up is their still a chance for the future, for a healty and long relashinship with this girl?
thanks,
EzAlex

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16 years old, Experienced, and looking for a pickup buddy!

This makes perfect sense. Mystery goes over the road story, that he starts in c1, c2 or, c3. Basically it is this very elaborate stacking storyline about how he became a magician. How he had the guts to do this and that ect ect....takes like 30 minutes. By the end the girl thinks she "knows" you. He says to not rush it, keep it based on emotion and shows your quality. He says never to do it UNLESS you really like the girl because it is instant girlfriend. I would keep up Kino, neg, playfulness (in a limited capacity) throughout otherwise you run the risk of the friend zone. And DO NOT hit on her while you're telling it. It's more about creating emotional intimacy. I am going to try it this weekend, Ill let you know how it goes.

Move on for like a year or two. She will not trust you and even if you do get back together, she'll be super jealous and hold some resentment, plus you both have to work through the issues that caused you to break up before you try again....

just my opinion.

m2 let me know how it works out.

ezalex.. the whole thing you are going through is just a natural universal thing everyone is going through...you make some mistakes - then you fuckup , you improve your life - and again you make mistakes ... it's a constant flow of failing and learning and you have to accept this.

the worst thing that could happen to you is getting back with your ex, you hooking up with other girls isn't a mistake..it's ok .. it's completely normal to be a man and date woman...

and like m2said .. their are too many issues with your previous GF .. just move on

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Lode I would like to tell you that just talking about my problem with you and some other friends has really helped me to change my way of thinking and fears. Hopefully it will stay that way. Once again thank you for all of your advice