So yesterday we went out.

And my goal was to start getting used to opening again... and the possibility of getting rejected.

My wing knows how critical I can be of myself so he decided that the way to go would be to give me prepared line...pick a girl then force me to go up and speak to her.

It was working to begin with.

I got blown out most of the time...

Set 1: (Girl sitting down texting) Hey... who are you texting?
Her: Erm... no one... (She points that her boyfriend is on the dancefloor then runs away)

Set 2: (Girl Standing) Excuse me... What time does this place shut?
Her: She just totally ignores me and brushes me off.

Set 3: (Hen night out) Hey I wondering what all the T-shirts are about.
Her: What T-shirts?
Me: The ones you're wearing.
Me: Oh I get it... you're trying to be funny. (smile) So what's the special occassion one of your friends is getting married?
Her: blah blah.... Seemed to be better.

Set 4: (Girl sitting texting) I just plain out go sit right next to her and ask who she is texting. My body language is better. She responds. I asked her if I was a bit weird?

Set 5: Girl dancing...Hey does my T-shirt look too green?
Her: I don't know ...I can't really see it under your jumper.

Then I start to hit AA again. It's strange because even with 'Social momentum' I still can freeze at any moment. Then my wing man starts shouting at me... because I'm choking.

I guess he's doing it to push my boundaries and I go off to the toilet. When I'm back he's talking to a girl... I sit down a little bit sad cos I've lost my momentum.

Reflections
Then I wait till the night is out and go home. I'm happy I opened. And my wing man is right. I gotta start getting rejected. Doing something is better than nothing and I got to start this from scratch, starting with the basics.

My wing giving me lines and forcing me to open... Does break my AA a bit. It kind of takes the onus from me like it's not MY lines getting me rejected. At first it was difficult to open...then it got difficult...Then it got difficult.

I wonder what it will take to just go with flow ALL the time? Is it possible for me?
This is the start of a new chapter...Getting used to being rejected. Hopefully, this accounts for jobs as well.

_________________
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My Journal
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Tweeby: Two points.

1. Who is your wingman? I think you could really make accelerated progress with someone who already knows the ropes. A mentor, if you will. Maybe not just for game either.

2. Just a thought, try things that don't make sense to you, to her, to anyone really. Girls just won't know what to do, and that is better than normal things. You already have a game, you two can figure it out together!

Hi Lance,

Thanks for the reply. My wingman is kinda an rAFC. But now I would say he is quite successful with women. So he is definitely someone I can go out sarging and learn from. He knows the Game because I lent him the book so he knows the rope.
Yeah, I'm just trying anything really.

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Hey Tweeby,

There really isn't a well-defined task list for a good wingman but if all he is doing is playing the role of a drill sargent, he's probably holding you back more than helping. His involvement probably has more to do with you 'hitting AA' than your actual performance. Think about this a bit . . .

Secondly, you ought to go back to the drawing board and work on your openers. Start writing with the situations you've already faced. Plenty guys will say that 'anything will work' but this is simply not true. Words are powerful . . . and we're all programed to habitually react to certain words in our own ways. A person asks you, "How are you," and before you can even think you respond, "______ "

Asking a girl, "Who are you texting?" is intrusive. This is like looking over somebody's shoulder while they're emailing. The first thing that goes on in my mind is, "None of your business."

"What time does this place shut?" - My gut reaction is, "Go ask somebody who works here?" So, try to weed out openers that can easily lead to one-response dead ends.

Why not:

"Still firing off emails? A workaholic . . ."
"Your broker works this late? God bless him."

Sure, she could tell you, "Go away", but a girl could say that to anybody for any opener. So how can she reply to these two above? Easy to go with a one-response end or not?

Try out some free writing. The idea is to build up your repertoire but in the process, you will gain a better ability to quickly come up with on the spot, relative openers. Also, your openers do not have to be in the form of a question. Why not just a statement?

Tweeby: "Ah, so your softball team won the county championships. Congratulations . . ."
Girl: "No, this is a ...."
Tweeby: "Well, this calls for a celebration. Cheers!"
Girl "We're not a.."
Tweeby: "I've always admired athletic excellence... What does your shirt say, 'happy birthday Janet....'oh, so this is a birthday party. Why didn't you tell me?"

^This can be more fun than a quiz.

The question was not, "How do you FEEL about rejection." The question was "WHAT IS rejection?" I'd like to learn how you define 'rejection'. I wonder if you've ever even thought of it . . .

I guess I've always looked at rejection as being the emotional distress after an event. But I have never actually questioned what is rejection to me.

I guess if I was to actually describe it in words I would probably be laughed at.

Hell, rejection is some girl who I've never seen in my life shrugging her shoulders when I ask her 'what times this place shuts?'

Rejection is going on a day 2 and not being able to kiss close.

Let's be fair this is ridiculous. I get rejected from a girl I don't even know and I take it all to heart. This is like me offering a mate a piece of chewing gum and them saying 'no thanks.' I don't take that so personally - why should it be any different with women?

I'm being completely unreasonable when it comes to rejection. I just don't realise it.

^^Absolutely. I am using my wing man to break my AA for me. I guess, it makes me feel better because, it's his line he gives me to open a set, so if I fail the onus isn't so bad for me. Again this is just another self-defense mechanism I have to protect my ego.

Sometimes you have to put yourself entirely on the line. But in the mean time it helps me to open. I want to be able to just open on my own. That is the end goal.

I like this idea. I researched a few threads and saw one where you suggest taking a few household objects and just free writing about them. I'm going to try this out.

Going out tonight

My Pal called me to go out tonight. He said, like the last night he was going to give me a few openers to try out. He told me to dress up because first impressions count.

First opener he gave me was to speak to a girl at the cocktail bar and ask her what was the deal of drinking out of a coconut. Even though I didn't fancy her I still COULD NOT do it. My AA was high.

Second set was a lot better. My wing directed me to open a two set and ask where is good to go tonight. My body was OK, I was sat on a chair and asked them over my shoulder projecting my voice.

A cute half british/iranian girl and black girl came over to engage. She seemed really chatty and we had a bit of a conversation as she talked to both me and my wing. We chatted about Morocco and other places. She seemed friendly and must have elevated our social value.

I was surprised at how well the first set opened. Just goes to show, if you don' put yourself out there you can totally miss out.

Next we went to another bar and I asked a two set where is good to go tonight. My body language was bad and I spoke too softy. Although I think the girl I was talking to was well in my league and possibly fancied me by body language let me down.

My wing said to make statements instead of asking questions and really start to engage if I get a reply. I guess I am too aloof because I'm afraid of putting myself on the line.

This is all about putting myself on the line. I guess, at the end of the day it is all about confidence and putting myself on the line.

I've almost completed my portfolio for work. It's time to start applying properly. Rejection is all part of the learning process and maybe... After all it's not so bad.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
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Went out today for my mate's wedding.

Tried to be more social and it wasn't so bad. Didn't really open any random sets at the wedding but spoke to the guys I knew.

Hit the town afterwards and carried on opening random sets. Things like just high fiving them or asking if they thought we were over-dressed for the clud(we were in our wedding gear) or if they knew when the club shut.

Managed to get about 6-7 sets, but no targets...

Sucks, my mate is complaining because he doesn't know which one of many girls to choose from. It makes me pissed because I would give anything to be in his situation.

I guess it's all relative...

Also got a few things finished for my C.V so hopeful.

Onwards we plough.

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Getting another job

Ok my internet connection is about to bail in one month.

Let's be more specific with my goals for employment.

By the end of play today

• Finish of template I want to create and upload to free lance website
  Write up documentation for usage
  Provide slider support from the back end
  Create pricing pages
  Tidy up shortcode functionality
  Include contact page
  Create just HTML/CSS/JAVASCRIPT version
  
  Pending...
  How to create portfolio

2nd August

• Finish writing up C.V
  Update Bar website

3rd August

• Create fully coded flash website for Embedded system I did and upload to portfolio

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Did he in fact take a girl home and fuck her or did you "FEEL PISSED" due to some fantasies in your head?

Look . . . we are animals. You've heard of "Pavlov's dog". There is no shame in salivating just because you heard a bell. What can we do? We've all been conditioned to behave one way or another. There is however a difference between Pavlov's dog and you. You have the ability reflect.

After feeling negative, pissed, or uncomfortable, you have the ability to REFLECT and judge whether your emotions/behavior are due to REAL LIFE events that just occurred or some harmless stimulus that triggers habitual responses.

I asked earlier, "What is rejection," and you directly responded by explaining your emotions. Logically, you KNOW that when a girl tells you off, she could be on the rag, she could 10 seconds away from ripping a fart, she could be having diarrhea or indigestion, her cat could have just died, you could share similar facial features as her raping uncle, she could simply be socially inept, she could be married but looking for harmless fun, she could be, she could be, she could be . . . And in fact, she could just be uninterested in a guy who comes up to her at a bar/club. . . Is this the time to feel ______, ________, and _______?

Really? Do you usually feel all these things when your buddy is suffering from diarrhea? Do you feel all those things when a guy is about to fart? Your emotions are playing tricks on you. Like Pavlov's dog, you've somehow picked up a habit of feeling/behaving in specific ways when certain stimulus is offered to you. First thing to do is to accept this at a logical level. What's going is not right. A dog shouldn't salivate at the sound of a bell and you shouldn't be feeling all that shit when a stranger or a new acquaintance behaves one way or another.

If you can accept this and at least 'reflect' to yourself the truth, then we'll be able to move forward to some next steps. Ignore this and I assure you that these tendencies will surprise you(usually with negative consequences) in many other aspects of your life.

I think this is the key to me moving on...

I'm a bit behind on schedule.

Here is what I have achieved
Finish of template I want to create and upload to free lance website 3/4
Write up documentation for usage 3/4
Provide slider support from the back end 1
Create pricing pages 0 will leave
Tidy up shortcode functionality 6/7
Include contact page 0
Create just HTML/CSS/JAVASCRIPT version 0

Pending...
How to create portfolio

Tonight I will get all the documentation written up and the shortcode 100% working.

_________________
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I was a bit over ambitious with those previous goals to do with work. Here are my revisions.

7th August

Finish of template I want to create and upload to free lance website [complete]
Write up documentation for usage [complete]
Provide slider support from the back end [complete]
Tidy up shortcode functionality [complete]
Include contact page [complete]
Create just HTML/CSS/JAVASCRIPT version [n/a]
Create landing page blurb [complete]
Create preview/landing page/screenshot photoshop files [50%]

At the moment I'm looking for work. I've seen a great website where authors can sell web templates for $. This seems like a great way to earn money tax free on the side.

I've done a bit of research: Each template sells for $35 and the authors take 50% of the sales. On average one template sells 30-40.

This means if I make 3 templates per month I get

$(3 x 35 x 40)/2 = $2100 = £1260 per month

Which is about £15,000 per year tax free.

I've noticed some of the more niche templates like weddings/environment/Child care templates sell a lot more. There also is a market for e-commerce which I'm sure I can do.

By the end of today I will have everything written up and the template site hosted for viewing purposes. I will have to submit my files for approval before I can start selling. I'm guessing they will get rejected first and a few improvements will need to be made.

Future plans

8th August
Create fully coded flash website for Embedded system I did and upload to portfolio.

Once this is done, this will allow me to link to this when I apply for jobs. It is crucial I do this first.

9th August
If portfolio still incomplete make sure I complete this. If complete apply for at least three jobs.

Further into the future
Assuming my free lancing plans work I will be earning £15,000 per year tax free.
Some of this revenue can be re-injected to fund extra courses I can take to get certification. This may be important in securing the job I want.

An certified asp.net developer is something I want to obtain.

Also I need to start advertising teaching maths again. Tutoring was another easy way to make money. Will develop a strategy by 8th August.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
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Went out with my wing tonight.

We were planning on having a few quiet drinks then going to 'Tinsel Town' which is like an American Style diner, where they sell coffee and ice-cream. It's normally full of students.

Anyway, we decide to go to a bar first... We're sitting down and we're having a few quiet drinks.

Next bar we go to we see that it's pretty full of hot chicks. We get our drinks and sit down at the table. There's a group of young ladies. And we talk to each other about what the best way to open them are.

A couple of minutes later one girl wanders over and opens my mate. I join in, it's pretty good. We both banter with each other. Then my wing goes to the toilet and one of her OTHER mates comes over and sits next to me.

She says,' Hey is your mate single...Because my friend really likes him.'

I play it cool, I know the Game I DHV him, after all that's what mates do... I even try to get her number for him, but her mate insists on taking his instead. The banter is really good, even a few negs. I'm proud of how well I can wing. I'm probably the best wing man in the world.

But deep down, I'm thinking "What the fuck? My wing already had three, no four, no five other opportunities... I have none a big fat zero, yes I'm comfortable bantering with a chick who is already married and trying to set her mate up with my mate."

This is easy... After all, my balls aren't on the line. I'm in auto-pilot mode.


I've been here many times before...Maybe I'm too caring... I always want to see my mates do well. I'm genuinely happy for him, 'Yeah he's getting another number...Another potential F-close' Whoop de fucking do... Here I am with Jack Shit...Nada... My role is to disarm the group while he moves in for the kill.

I play this role TOO well. OK even though none of those girls I could actually k-close or f-close (I'm being honest here, this is not my EGO talking) but I auto-pilot the role of the slightly AFC-under-the-radar- mate who is non-threatening very well.

Of course, because my game is tight, the entire group is disarmed, even the mother Hen, she's literally spilling her life story to me.

I just run a "ring" routine on her and she's putty. Even though she's married, and she's not a target... it's EASY.

But this is what I've always done... This is easy... It's not my balls that are on the line. I'm simply disarming the group for my wing.

It's easy for my wing. Her mate basically came over to me and said her mate was gagging for it.

WTF? Hello! Look at me... The quiet, slightly shy guy, not as good looking as the Alpha-male or the other guys in the bar, is sat here waiting for some action. OK she might have been out of my league. But what I wouldn't give to be the guy getting that kind of offer!


Reflections
Gaming the group is not so bad. When I need to be in social God mode I can be.

But can I be in this mode when there's a girl who likes me? Can I do this when it's me that has my balls on the line?

This is the question I need to ask myself. OK... It is a step forward. What I achieved tonight was good, in terms of social value. But being the "nice-guy wing" is a role I've known all my life.

I want to be the guy getting some action. How...

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

OK, I submitted my webtemplate but it got rejected.

No worries here, these thing normally happen.
So the plan for today. Is to add UNIQUE features to my template.

1) Add better graphics (which have to be my own -> 3D render seems the way forward)
2) Add buttons, I have a site where I can copy the CSS.
3) Add a logo for the graphic -> Check sites like dribble.com
4) Queue the scripts up properly and use the site url() function
5) Add Jquery toggle effects
6) Style tag images
7) Add two other non-flash sliders

If I get all this done today then get cracking on that portfolio. Install the flash suite on my laptop and create a little demo with a mySql database.

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*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
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Gym three times a week, but weights only once. Has it helped? I'm fitter, I'm half a stone of my target weight? Maybe that's because of the side effects of the medication I'm on. But I'm still not my ideal body type.



Let's see, where am I now. Nothing has come of that free lance stuff. I completed the portfolio and submitted my work. I'm way out of my depth, the code they're expecting is a far cry from the hacked version I've put together? Go figures.

Went out again, opened one set, got blanked... Then we went to Tinsel Town, and it was full of my ideal targets! Yet there I was sat in the middle with my wing. He was looking at me waiting to open. ... And nothing! I couldn't do nothing! I sat there paralysed.

Just be normal... Anything, my body language is all wrong. She turns away to her friend. They huddle closer together then leave! Great.

Even a rejection would have been better than doing FUCKING nothing. Story of my life.

_______________________________________________
Tomorrow my internet connection is getting cut!

I have one day to push out my portfolio! I'm such a FUCKING waster. What now, am I going to spend my mornings/afternoon down starbucks hogging up their wifi hotspots? Get going Tweeby, what happened to the plan?

The plan is there am I following up? I am not following it up! The girl at the gym is now back, do anything Tweeby, bump into her, say hi... But no... Act weird, shy, avert your eyes run away. God damit she's much younger than you and you're acting like a pre-teen chick. Why am I such a fucking chode?
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*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
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New Chapter
Today marks a new chapter in my life. Well my internet connection was terminated today. Probaby the best thing that could happen to me because wasting time everyday was a big issue.

If writing this up from an internet cafe. Today, I went into town with a few goals.
I'm trying to find other means to use the internet for free with my own laptop.

Wifi seems like the obvious solution and I have found four outlets which offer that service. Not quite sure what those limitations are but will find out sooner or later.

McDonalds, StarBucks, Another cafe and Cafe Nero all offer wifi.

McDonalds seems the best option, the location is huge so I won't be monitored as abusing it that much. The plan is to have a plan/list of objectives or tasks I need to complete before going into town in the morning to use their internet services.

To avoid any confrontations, I am going to go in suited and booted for 8.30 to 9.30, this will avoid the kids on holiday and peak periods.

There are four wireless access points where I live so if I rotate it I won't get accused of abusing their services. If I'm dressed up with a breifcase as well I won't get questioned either... It's all about faking it till I make it

Also, walking into town I approached the staff and asked about wifi and enquired about job vacancies... This is going to be another excuse to sarge...

Tomorrow, I want to finish my godamn fucking CV!!!!! and online portfolio. I'm going to get back into the routine. I'm not cooked for myself in ages and I'm slipping back into bad habits.

Having the internet was a serious waste of my time and I was jerking off way too much! This has kicked my ass into gear. Now when I'm out using the internet I will have a purpose.

Watch this space.

_____
*Edit, oh that cute girl who was working at the job office has moved to a different location, when I get my C.V checked over maybe it will be a good time to open her

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