Getting kind of aggravated. Posted a few of these that I thought were actually DHV and I get mostly guys commenting on them. lol

Reading through this and other threads like this the big argument of its a DLV or no its a DHV annoys me.

As long as it isnt attention seeking in a negative way ( as all status updates are realisticly attention seeking in the sense as it grabs your attention )

Stay clear of any status updates that have any of the follwing topics " Your dick" , " directly how awesome you are" , "how many girls are after you", "anything that is out right bragging" as these are called I have a little dick in real life status's

use " situational humor e.g. " the awkward moment when ........" , " I cant believe someone just ..........."

then theirs holiday specific situational humor " Oh god I hope I dont get any Fathers day Cards this year " , " just survived the end of the world , still got my two lives , onto level three !"(for your everday Rapture's)

and everyday situational humor " ran out of bread for my bacon butty , awell bacon on bacon it is then !", " I wish my pen had a spell check feature" ect

Then theirs the cause of making status where you outrightly brag about something but end up making yourself look like a fool on purpose " so i leaned in to kiss some girl and i ended up headbutting her , girls dig that right ?"

Also using different devices such as a mobile phone suggests that your out and about and not sat on the computer all day.

The use of using other devices to update your status with such as via a microwave or via mental telepathy can cause some confusion and laughs when people notice it ( rarely) http://funnyfacebook.org/status_via/979 ... epathy.php


Facebook status in no way help you pick up girls , however they may on the rare occasion spark up a conversation on facebook , make it easier for people to converse with you by allowing them to quiz you about these " situations " you have got yourself into. They do infact show a degree of wit and your light hearted views on the world. Facebook is a great tool but at the end of the day thats all it is , a tool .... like a dick im sure if you sapped your dick in peoples faces like the minorty of you do with your obserd status's you will eventually get a girl who's willing to latch on.

"that awkward moment when i'm drunk and your still ugly."

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In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

"Say no to drugs. If drugs are talking to you, you obviously have had enough..."

Clever, even I say so myself..

"I hate mosquitoes!!! I mean, I know I'm delicious and all but damn ... "

Fucking shit is gold man, im going to approach my facebook updates totaly different now. Its literally exploding and I even got a PM from this chick I was gaming a year or two back.

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Cogito ergo sum

A quote that's both chick crack and makes girls think.... they like to add comments to something that looks intellectual so they can feel intellectual as well... even though they probably are just bimbos, it seems to work pretty well.

For those of you who are saying updating your status DLV's you massively, I have a guy on my friendlist who regularly gets 15-40 likes per status, and girls therefore think "wow, what's so different/good about him!?" and he constantly has loads of girls in contact with him. So it definitely works to an extent, regardless of how arguably sad it may come across.

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Behind the lady who dances and the man who madly drinks, i'll show you the truth about love.

I just saved a bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms!.

This is pretty good.

Doesn't really work as an opening status, but if a girl ever posts "I love you" (whether she's a girlfriend or just a friend doesn't matter) or anything to that effect, respond with, "Ditto. And you're pretty cool too."

Not much yet for me but only 30 mins on the clock. I'll leave it for now.

TBH I say don't be too strict with what you post as long as it isn't a dlv and regardless of what it is, at the end of the day go back and clean up your wall so that only the posts you made with several likes or comments, and posts from others are on it that way when people see it they think "Wow people listen to everything this guy says."
Nothing is more dlv than going on someons wall and seeing like 5 statuses within one day that have no likes.

"Global Warming: It's gettin' hot in here, so take off all your clothes!"

Don't say I never gave you anything.

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Life is too important to be taken seriously. (Church of FSM)

About the discussion "should you or shouldn't you?"

If you are a business man and you want to be alpha in business, being Mr Secure.. the manager etc, you shouldn't come with weak jokes.

If you want to be Mr Chill, a fun having guy who doesn't give a damn, loves a laugh and is the leader of his chilling group: post some smart bit-daring jokes.

Etc.

I think you should decide what really suits the character that you are. What will strengthen the image you have? Do you want to have some clever, nice, discussion worthy statuses with things on your mind? Share them to talk about them.. an invitation to discussion on level.

Or do you want to be the Mr Chill as I described above? The secure-fun guy who you just love at your party. He will make the difference.

Anyway saw this website, some of them are hilarious.

http://fallenarmy.forumotion.com/t128-1 ... -love-them

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Hi, I need your female opinion on this...

good stuff man i like it a lot