Hey,

Just on phone to my HB and she was really quite down and miserable.. I tried to think of interesting stuff to say to cheer her up but it just didn't come to me! I said I wish I had a magic wand to make things better etc.. but I think it just made her more miserable!! I have this habit of making women cry unfortunately.

Anyway, after ending the call, I texted her with "I'm useless sometimes.. I rang to try to cheer you up but it all went wrong.. "

Didn't get a reply.

What are your reactions to this... should I not have bothered to try to cheer her up in the first place...? (She's not miserable with me by the way!!)

What should I do next... if anything?

Zanny

_________________
"The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step"

- Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu
Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

if you wanna cheer her up dont ever verbalize it and dont talk about her problems with her
if shes being a downer sometimes you mite wanna leave her alone who knows what happened? dont try to figure it out you gotta give her space sometimes. most importantly if youre trying to cheer her up and shes continually bringing you down youd wanna talk to someone else cause you dont wanna feel shitty yourself do you? just cause shes sad doesnt mean you should be too that doesnt seem fair.

dont talk about her problems or annoying her with "whats wrong?" thats gotta be the worst cheering up technique ever. you wanna completely ignore her feeling sad and talk about whatever you wanna talk about just make it fun and interesting something positive and just get a good vibe going something you should already know how to do as a pua. interact with her if you can and talk to her like nothing happened thats whats gonna cheer her up.

dont aknowledge that you are or were trying to cheer her up cause thats a dlv and putting pressure on her which is gay. from here on just text her a regular hey and start a normal conversation

In the text you dlv'd yourself. I know you were trying to show you cared, and were just being honest. Next time try something like:
That might not be the best, but you get the idea...

Thanks guys.. some nice ideas here.

I'll probably leave it for a few days before texting again (if this is a good idea?) then just take your advice.

Is it always a good idea to not acknowledge when a woman is sad?

Zanny

_________________
"The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step"

- Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu
Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

I disagree with not acting on and showing care for how a girl might be feeling. But, do not over do it. Be careful, you could come off as needy, and too eager too please.

I'm not trying to be a dork, but when they choose not to talk about it with you, that is a big indicator of dis-interest.

For example, before being w/ my current gf, I took an hb 8.5 out. It was a first date. The next day no text from her. At this point I pretty much knew she was turned off fgor sone reason. I texted her, asked about her day. She told me she lost her job and was kinda down. Whenever I asked she avoided the question of what happened. At that point I gave my good byes, said i woukd text her later, and deleted her number....

Why waste too much time trying to get her? My time was better spent on a woman that was interested....

As people said already you don't want to annoy her show her that you care but don't overdo it. Also NEVER send that kind of text again. I know you did it with the best intentions but it was horrible (not trying to be rude).

You should have just told her to come around and then tried to fu....comfort her. You cant comfort a girl when she is seriously in need of TLC over the phone only for minor stuff.

As for that text wtf - you tried your best (bad as it was currently) seriously why apologise for that?

What you need to do in situations like these is to get her mind off of the situation that's bugging her. I usually tell her simply, that if she wants to talk, to let me know, and we can meet up and she can talk about what's bothering her. When you meet up, don't choose a coffee house, because you'll be stuck listen to some story that's often times overly dramatic and that you can't do anything about. Instead, make it fun, like mini-golf, etc. where she has the opportunity to talk, but instead, you comfort her a different way: By showing her a great time to get her mind off of her troubles. If she just talks about trouble when she's with you, not only will you be friend-zoned-ed, but also these little neurons in her brain will be making connections between "bad time/trouble" and being with you.

Bottom line, comfort her. She needs someone who will make her feel better. Best way to do that isn't to dwell on the past though but to live in the present. Have an awesome time, and she will be actually comforted, instead of just talking her feelings out.

Be the guy who knows what she actually is looking for instead of what she says or thinks she's looking for.