hi guys

after about 5 months of dating, i'm currently about to commit to a girl.

I really like her. In all aspects. I get turned on by her, and she has a great personallity.

Yet, one thing bothers me. She doesn't dress in the way i like girls to dress. That is: tight pants, thongs, dresses, high heels etc. I really like girls to dress a little bit 'bitchy', to say. I get really aroused by it.

This girl on the other hand sticks to simple t-shirts. The issue goes so far that sometimes i'm looking to other, more 'bitchy' dressed girls, and start to fantasize about them.

Should i bring it up? How can i bring it up? Should i even think of not committing to this girl based on the above issue?

Thanks for any help

maybe you could start commenting, in passing, about how much you like a certain other girl's style?

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I feel you man. Other than commenting as Mack suggested, I don't see how you could do anything else. Any negative comment will bury you, so you can only hope she'll take the hint. The problem is, if she doesn't remotely like to dress the way it turns you on, it will be a problem for you long term. She may be terrific, but it will bug you. I've broken up with a girl who was ideal for me in all other aspects over this same issue. Call me shallow, but sexyness and sex appeal is the motor of a relationship. Well for my shallow self at least. I just love those summer dresses, the high heels, the makeup, the perfume, the soft skin from all the fucking products she uses, it just turns me on so much. If that lacks, the character may keep me there for a while, but for my GF, I just want the full package.

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

I told her already once i really like high heels and would love her to wear them.

She didn't got really offended by it. She told me the time she's in town (where we currently are) people don't really dress up (which is surely true).

Later she talked again about the high heels she have at home, so it seems like she would try it more often.


On another occasion i asked her whether she likes to wear thongs. She said they aren't really hygenic (or however you write that word). Couldn't really say anything on that.


I complimented her that single time she wore a dress (not the best dress, but at least it was an improvement).

thongs are nasty.

they rub all over a girl's asshole and twat.

then intermingle germs.

never really seen anything appealing about them, other than i wouldn't want to touch one after it had been worn for a couple of hours.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

just be honest. say "those clothes are ugly. take them off."

not really. just point a girl out that dresses like that and be like "i would love it if you dressed like that!" she may get defensive, but she will get the hint.

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In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

maybe when her bday comes around or holiday seasons. you can get the stuff you want to see her wear.

but, i'd think she'd take that as an insult because that's the person she is, its her individuality

Okay, from what I've just read I have drawn 2 conclusions.

1) Its possible that she is not comfortable dressing like that because she thinks that you and other people will judge her since she is in a relationship and she dresses up all sexy and provocatively. If this is the case you have to reassure her that you won't judge her for it and by doing this you will also boost her confidence.

2) She might feel a little embarrassed of her body- hence she doesn't want to show it off. She might also think 'what's the point' since she is already in a relationship.

Solution,

Has she always been this way? Did she wear sweats and baggy tees when you met her? Do her friends dress well?

Surprise her and buy her a dress that you want her to wear, get her friends to go with you and get them to help you choose and for godsake listen to them- cos unless you are a pro stylist they know more than you. Once you have bought her the dress/heels whatever it is tell her 'we're going out tonight and I bought this for you to wear' and also remember to dress smart yourself.

Hope this helps buddy!

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hootsmon

Go find yourself a girl who dresses better.

P.S. Keep the receipt but don't tell her you have it unless she forces you to return it.

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hootsmon

If this is how you met her and according to you, you like HER, Then why are you trying to change her?

There are several ways to achieve this. Classical conditioning, could work. The reason she doesnt like wearing the other clothes is due to negative reinforcement. Find a way to do consistent positive reinforcement whenever she shows i itiation towards dressing how you want it and try to punish her with "less attention" if she doesnt.

Then again if you do that you are going to be messin with her emotionally, negative reinforcement has been documented to have emotional drawbacks. If you play your cards wrong she will begin to feel you as being a conditional lover.

Second way is neruo linguistic programing. You could anchor some positive emotions to the type of clothing you want her to wear so that she will be in a good emotional state whenever she wears them.

Again this is messing with nature, if you truly cant be happy with who she is them i siggest you skip all the drama and look for a girl that would suit you better.

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Bow chika wow wow

All relationships require some compromise. You've already pointed out that sexy clothes are a turn-on, and the girl still won't dress up occasionally for you? I'm thinking she's too Alpha to consider making a small change and/or too inexperienced to see the value in it. You could make a date with her, go out shopping together beforehand and make suggestions or point out exactly what you like, tell her again that it turns you on and how hot she would look in that outfit or this outfit. Let her know that she would be in for some explosive sex that night If the chick can't step up, then maybe it is time to move on and find someone who will.

Does conditioning ever work on any human? Every woman and her grandmother has known about conditioning techniques since 5th grade. Too many people in general these days are so emotionally unstable that mind games can push them right over the edge.

To be clear: i havent really brought up the issue, yet i gave some small hints. I'll try continue doing that, and see if there is any progress. If she really isn't able to change even a little, i might have to look for another girl.

Oh sorry for the mis-read I know you like her, but unfortunately like you said you may have to move on. You probably want to be in a LTR with someone who is a bit more flexible.

Of course, I am biased on the subject of clothing. I have been known to greet my husband at the door dressed as anything from a geisha girl to a "slutty cowgirl" lol. Makes for extremely hot sex!

Truth is, some girls just aren't into clothing and product like others. Some just don't see the point and consider it being fake, some prefer to be comfortable, some just have low self esteem and some think they just look that good that they don't have to put forth more effort.
Personally, I love my jeans and t-shirts, but I also love my hair and make up. I dress up very well every time I go out, though. I didn't used to. My ex was pretty much a dick and wrecked my self image. After that split, it took me a while to become more comfortable with myself again and I took baby steps.
This might take a couple of months to pull off, but I would suggest trying this route:

1) Don't buy her something that is a far departure of what she normally wears. She will see this as judgement. It might not be a pretty result.

2) Instead, try to follow along her current style, just vamp it up a bit. If she like jeans and t-shirts, try to get her in a pair of jeans that are dressier. The trick is to get her more comfortable in her own skin.
These might work:

http://shop.guess.com/Catalog/View/Wome ... B0153D3100 .
Doesn't have to be the exact same ones, but look at the color and cut.

http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satel ... vsdWrapper

3) When you get her into something more form fitting and showing just a little more skin, give COMPLIMENTS!!! You have to give a little to get a little, right? You have to let her know she looks great or she won't keep progressing.

4) Go a little more bold, such as:

http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satel ... vsdWrapper

5) Hmmmm... more compliments! Also try suggesting espadrilles to go with them. These will be a little more comfortable because they give more to balance on and you can get them in lower height. Remember, girls aren't born knowing how to walk in this stuff, we have to learn and it isn't easy. They hurt more the higher they are.

6) Offer her a trip to the salon. Girl's don't like shelling out $85 + for that and it takes a lot of time to do at home. If you offer, she'll most likely take you up on it.

Her confidence will be higher, making her want to wear these things. Don't load these on her all at once! She will be defensive. Try one a week or so. She will get bolder on her own if you play your cards right. If none of this works, you've got yourself a woman that doesn't care about being a woman. Either accept that she just wants to be comfortable, or it's time to move on.

Good luck!