Right, first of all, heres about me. Im a 17 year old guy, living in UK, 18 in november. so for now daygame is all I consistently got. As a youngster I have always been very shy, for whatever reasons I dont know or care, but its only at about the age of 15/16 i decided I wanted to change this. this resulted in getting drunk a few times with a few other AFC's, and eventually led to PUA. PUA has helped me enormously, ive become more confident, able to get with girls and a much funner person.

However, I still dont consider myself to be where I want to be.
this realisation has been there for past few months, since starting college after a summer of practising PU, however yesterday it really bubbled over, when I saw the hottest blonde ever, and although I did approach and get attraction, when an AMOG came along, I let him take over and basically didnt fight to get her back. I am extremely angry with myself for doing this. time to change

this is not an inner game guide for coming out of extreme shyness/AFCness, more a guide from being a relatively confident/social person in some situations, to being THE FUCKING MAN IN EVERY SITUATION. whether it be to do with women, or fighting.

first of all, I think I need to define what "being the fucking man" is exactly.

of course, its natural to look at what we see in popular culture. Movie characters such as Tyler Durden, Tom cruise in Top gun, Brad pitt in pretty much any movie, Henry Hill from the goodfellas. But to really see what I want to become, I think the best thing to do is to imagine my "best self" in a variety of situations, and see how id love to handle them...

I want to be a man who lives by principles, pushing through any emotions when he knows he must do something that is right
I want to be a man who gives his power to nobody. who sees nobody as above him
I want to be a man who acts on his urges, does what the fuck he wants
I want to be a man who doesnt give a shit what others think of him
I want to be a man who is prepared to fight, who takes no shit.
I want to be a man who, when he wants something, takes it.
I want to be a man who others go to for help, who makes others feel safe and secure
I want to feel comfortable and at home, making my presence known, in any situation
to quite fight club, I want to be a man, who knows, not fears, but knows, that someday he will day.

these may seem a little extreme, but remember, just being confident and able to talk to girls in a certain circumstance isnt enough anymore. In blueprint, owen cook refers to "deep identity level change" maybe thats what I mean.

so what are the implications of this? it means, when someone insults me, no matter how big and scary they are, unless they have a gun to my head, I will not just laugh or act like a pussy, Ill tool them back.
It means when somebody tries to insult somebody im with, i wont just stand back and watch, ill tell them to shut up.
it means when i see a hot girl, ill go up to her without any hesitation and shame, and chat her up.
it means I wont just let somebody walk all over me, amog me, or take a girl im chatting up.
it means that when I feel fear/anxiety or any other emotion, ill tell that emotion to go fuck itself cos i know what needs to be done

update soon

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

Right, so now i know the man I want to be, how am I going to go about achieving this.

Im going to list all tools/techniques I know associated with inner game/nlp

-fake it till you make it
-anchoring
-belief changing by submodalities
-affirmations
-changing beliefs through journaling
-"feel the fear and do it anyway" (doing what you fear until you dont fear it anymore and have more self confidence)
-meditation

ok. so now i just need to figure out how I can use these to become the man Im ment to be

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

not sure if you meant for your post to inspire others, but it just inspired the hell outta me man. i'm in for update.

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The only way to get rid of temptation, is to yeild to it.....

cheers cornflakes, more just as a tool to help me but at same time would feel good to help others.

ok. so here is the plan to become who I want to be.

Each day, aswell as keeping up on my screenwriting and boxing, Im going to dedicate 30 mins to saying affirmations, and visualizing the person im ment to be in a variety of situations, aswell as meditation.

Aswell as this, Im going to make sure I approach one HB a day, not an easy "do you know where this is" but something I will fear doing, that must be key, i must fear the approach, and do it anyway.

During my day, Im going to make an effort to act like the fucking man as much as possible, this should become easier and easier as I keep doing the above things until it is natural.

Im going to keep a journal of all the times Ive been the fucking man, all the times I havnt and what I learnt from it. keep reinforcing times when I have.

Affirmations:
I am a man who gives my power to nobody, who sees myself as equal to all others
I am a man who acts on my urges, who does what the fuck I want to
I am a man who values my own opinion more than others, and only takes my own judgements of myself seriously
I am a man who is prepared to fight, who takes no shit
I am a man who takes something when I want it
I am a man who others come to for help, and who gladly accepts this responsibilty and helps all as much as is fair
I am a man who makes others feel safe and secure around me
I am a man who feels comfortable and at home, making my presence known regardless of the enviroment
I am a man who knows, not fears, but knows, that one day I will die

Ill update on how well this is working and any changes to the plan

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

Right, "day 1" of doing all this stuff. I notice some good and some bad in the way im behaving. I think in some ways trying to act like an "alpha" made me act like a dick which is just not me, probs because of anger from feeling insecure about my own alphaness.

So, after observing a "natural alpha" in class today, and this guy really was on fire, interrupting the teacher then actually negging her, being in control of the whole social interaction in general, I realised a few things.

Prior to my own limiting belief that the alpha male is the "most badass" guy there, I realised, the most alpha person will simply be the most relaxed, at home, confident, authentic guy. thats it. Ive been seeing alphas as assholes and in some wierd way trying to aspire to be like that, but thats naturally just not me. I like to get along with people and learn new things from them.

So instead of all this bravado about becoming "the fucking man", I just want to focus on becoming, the man im ment to be. Part of being a man is going to be acting on urges and doing what I want/what needs to be done, and making no excuses for mysel/seeing myself as valuable and equal to all others.

but things like "who is prepared to fight, who takes no shit" and all this other bravado, are simply mixed up in my own ego, for one they make no sense as to why I would even need to mention them, Im a boxer, and am trying to learn how to be better socially, I guess it just shows where I was coming from.

I also noticed today how the talk in your head impacts so much. I found just by having a strong confident voice in my head instructing me to walk with confidence and not be insecure about silly things, this really helped.

So ive gotten rid of some limiting beliefs, mainly that other "alphas" are out to get me and make me look stupid at any time, hence the list of defensive affirmations. Ive also noticed Im very insecure about looking "low value" like walking somewhere alone, probs resulting from so much time reading MM and internalizing these ideas.

From here, there are 3 things I want to develop.
1) the skill to access "state", those of you who havnt been through blueprint wont understand this. if so its cool dw but I recommend it
2) building a strong reality: having these understandings about how the social world works very strong in my mind
3) to develop real self esteem, not an ego where I only feel good when Im looking good to others.

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

I love that you talk about the voice in your head. I'm reading the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and he talks a lot about how you shouldn't identify with that voice, it's only out to feed your ego and in doing so, weaken your true self.

You're on the right path, man. A big help to being the AMOG is being able to compliment another alpha initially, especially on the things that are genuinely positive about him. For instance:
"Dude, looks like you've been hitting the gym, good for you!"
Many egotistical AMOGs won't be sure if you're making fun of them, so they'll play it off like their muscles are nothing. "Oh yeah I have it from lacrosse practices this season"
Accept their explanation and change the subject. "Oh nice, I play __. *To HB* So I saw the cutest dog the other day blahblah" or "Yeah I never really got into college sports *change subject*"

A genuine, cool guy that you may want to have contact with will appreciate the compliment and like you more. A tool will feel threatened, but is unable to return to the subject of his muscles without seeming insecure, so he will often stay quiet or get aggressive, which won't help him with the HB. Never try to out-tool them, just be that cool, confident guy that isn't intimidated by other people's assets.

Good luck man, I'm working on the same goal.

Hmm interesting.

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR BREAKING RULE #2 and #9

Ok, so didnt need to be in college until 1 today, so had some freetime in morning.
I decided to use that free time by listing the 5 key beliefs I would love to have.
1)people are friendly, no matter who they are, unless exceptions, people want to chat and hear what you have to say. we are social beings
2) girls want sex. thus they want you to approach and chat them up
3) I am a man who can push through fear, and who acts on urges and takes what I want.
4) I have value. people want to hear what I have to day
5) I can handle it. whatever life throws at me, I can handle it.

From here, I went through and really thought about each belief, not only thinking of times when it was true, but the times it wasnt and explaining it, so to take on the belief on a deeper level. I only had time to go through the first belief, but doing this, aswell as using the alpha voice in my head and focusing my breathing in order to put me in the present, definitly made a difference.

I found I acted "alpha" naturally, but the best part is I had convo;s about all kinds of shit with people Ive never spoken to before. I still probs got a while to go, but hey the skys the limit right.

slip and slide i see what u mean, but I see the ego as trying to be the best you can pitted against others, so you can only feel good relative to others, whereas true self-esteem is simply reaching the best of your potential, and so surely you would want to have the best voice talk possible, when not in the present moment.

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

What you basically did in that first section was meditation, focused your attention on the present (you may know this and have experience with it, but either way I appreciate the tactic).

Sure, but why not be in the present moment all the time? The voice is a useful tool for solving problems but you generally don't need it.

yeah being full present in every/most moments would be the ideal, but thats gunna take alot of practise, i respect you if you have achieved this as. however while im stuck with the voice in my head, might aswell make it a empowering one.

Im really beginning to get the whole inner game thing, those 3 areas (meditation/present, beliefs, confident "head talk) have really given me a major improvement in what, a day, 2 max.

Im not saying im completly there yet, we could always be more confident than we are, but I feel like its actually pretty simple. have the right beliefs and reaffirm them regularly, be in the present moment and make sure your inner workings are empowering, and practise.
Still need more practise, but hey that'l come each day. I hope im not being naive in thinking "ive fixed it" though its bad to see yourself as broken in the first place, then again I hope there is even more ways to improve myself out there.

going out tonight for bit of night game, gunna try going direct which is unusual for me, so i gues tonight will tell haha!

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

I am cautious to state my opinions. I will observe first. However, your methods do reflect a lot of the concerns I have had lately. I will not bother you with this, but I am concerned...

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR BREAKING RULE #2 and #9

Ok, so really tired right now, just got in from work, after only getting few hours sleep due to having few mates round for mates bday. il try to make this as literate as possible!

so anyway, the real inspiration for this post, was seeing my older bros mate for first time in a while. when I last saw this guy, he was ok with women, in a course he didnt really want to do.

Now, hes got a job as a trainee stockbroker - if he does well could be seeing upto 90k a year, hes only 21, is seeing multiple women of 8-9 standards, i thought I knew what an 8 is, compared to these girls, just a 7, even 6!
at this point, a thought entered my head. Why cant I have this success?
then i realised...there is no reason.

Why limit ourselves, sure I want to sell screenplays and travel the world, but aside from that im still going to have to get a job. So why not become some rich mofo in the financial sector, why not just push through the AA and get out there and fucking improve my game so I too can enjoy these kind of women?
No reason, no no reason what so ever. Im a man just like this guy, if anything even more intelligent/good looking than this guy, so why shouldnt I be enjoying this.
you guessed it, NO REASON

so, I need to do myself justice, get out there and make the most of life! I know this motivation is deep, because im so fucked up right now, surface motivation wouldnt work.

Gaius, please share, Im always hoping people critisize honestly, only way to learn, PM the view if you wish

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

Hobbit has the right to criticize me. But I have the right to criticize a lot of practices in PUA. PUA has many many flaws all of which are too long to name. I, Hobbit, Chief, and the owners of this site will never get along. I am contempt with this. I am now an exalted guru amongst their eyes, this is good news .

Boxer my only words of advice are just be your self, you don't have to change who you are to become a better person. I see so many guys on this forum trying to change who they are when they don’t even have to go through all that. When I see you writing all this stuff you want to be it reminds me of my self months ago. Hell this may work for you and just wasn't for me. But the greatest thing you can do is find your personal natural talent in life and exploit that.

I have a wonderful skill. I am an excellent planner and bureaucrat. I take pride in that. I think well ahead and execute my moves accordingly. Life is like a game of Chess for me. I am always thinking and understanding 5 moves ahead.

This approach to life may not be for everyone, but it is what works for me. So my question is, what are you good at? Instead of focusing on everything you do wrong what do you do right? Being a broker might not be for you. It is not impossible but you might not like it. What's something that you do well and can use anywhere you go? It's when you find out your niche and can use your niche that you can go beyond it and become better. But if you don't even understand your strengths how will you improve your weakness?

I have weaknesses that I have to work out. But I am not ashamed to admit that I have a long way to go. However, I know that by the end of this I will be further along than most of the men in this forum, even my accusers and down casters. It is better to move at a moderate or slow pace in life and end up in a great position in your mid-20’s then it is to move fast have all this temporary success and get a reality check in your 30’s.

I have limiting paradigms because I lived and experienced both poverty and of wealth. My family has both lost money and gained it with in the past years.
We have been beleaguered with abuse, tragedy, death, incest, rape, and the like. Yet I am still here and I am still strong. I don’t know anyone else’s story but the story of my life is far from perfect. I am proud that I had a harsh up bringing it gives you a view of the world you can not understand with out it.

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR BREAKING RULE #2 and #9

Hobbit, I really appreciate that man!

and to gaius, I respect what you've been through and where you've come, and do focus on the good parts of myself alot, you gotta. Ive got a rich imagination and thats why I screenwrite, so i do focus on what Im good at, aswell as putting my determination into boxing.

I could sit happy with myself quite easily, and live a 'normal' life, theres nothing wrong with that. but the point is, I have chosen to have more, to improve myself.
Im not saying i want to be a broker to ignore who i really am, im saying I know who i am, strenghts and weaknesses, and I want to improve that. This whole summer is going to be spent getting sales experience in order to see how I would like a career as a broker so i guess ill find out.

Still feeling really motivated with myself and life at the moment, just gotta clear vision of what I want to improve in my life! feels great!

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees

cheers for heads up, ive had a little think and decided that brokering/sales is something I myself want to pursue, solely for the large money to be had in it

Ive never considered myself a money chaser, until now lol but i know im not after money because society has told me money=success or it will get me laid or w.e, im simply after money just for the fact that it can fund my other things i want to do, i.e travelling the world, having my own house and land etc,

when pursuing this career, i must make sure i remember these goals and that time is more important than money

Ive noticed, since starting this thread and making a concious effort to improve my "inner game", I can now just go out and act this way naturally.

its like i now have this constant "i dont give a fuck what others think" attitude, not in a bad way as i still try to be kind and considerate to people, but at the same time, in social situations, mainly college, ive no longer got that voice in my head going "oh no i dont have the most value" or "people are ignoring me" I guess ive just become more naturally confident.

anyway, point is, for those others who want to sort out inner game, ITS NOT AS HARD AS YOU THINK, in my experience at least, so not universally but just in my opinion, all it needs is pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and trying new behaviours, aswell as affirming beliefs to back them up

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I refuse to let fear be a problem

Id rather die on my feet than live on my knees