Thank you all for the welcome and telling me about the women's section! I will make that my next stop I will also be sure to try out the chat section.

As for the analysis, I suppose it is rational to think that I would fall under that category. The reality is that I guess I got used to the attention at home. Both of my parents and my sister love me very much (and, of course, I love them right back). I rationalize that I didn't much care for the lack of daily attention after I flew away from the nest. Men were easier to gain attention from than women, as most women view other women as a threat. It was more work than I was prepared to take on at that stage. New job, new home, blah, blah, blah.... Again, my apologies if my answers aren't exciting

Pagan, you are the living proof that girls are not that diferent from guys. If i wanted to confort you, i would tell you "its not your fault, its the guys fault cause if they knew what they are doing they whould be able to break that unconfort of yours and bla bla bla"... well, i can see that that is not the case. I see that you are looking foward to change and become a more likeable person and increase your confidence... so im gonna be practical with my suggestion:
1- Ask yourself this question: would i have a date with myself?! If you had to spend a whole weekend with yourself (imagine there is a clone of you who doesnt have a clue who she is and you have to show her her identity), imagine in your head the places and activities you would take her to. You only have 2 days and you have to take logistics in account! Just picture it... breakfast...morning activities... lunch.... activities ... dinner... activities...nightlife... etc. Do you think that your clone would want to stick around?! What if your clone was another person... another female... another male... would you take them to the same places? Do you think they would think of you the same way as your clone? ... Think about it...
2- Take a step back and dont focus on being accepted around other ppl. Get The Rules of The Game by Neil Strauss and follow The Stylelife Challenge. This is a 30 day challange. I extremely recommend you do this. These are very simple challanges to be taken 1 day at a time. Some are so simple that you might find ridiculous... FOLLOW THEM! In your case (and in case you dont follow it every day, which is ok), i would recommend you to follow the challanges and only move to the next when you feel confortable doing the previous one. NO RUSH! This challanges will help you become a more confident person and overcome that fear of rejection, unworthiness, etc.

I could give you some more practical advice, but if you are not able to commit yourself to this 30 day challange and at least do your best to follow it, then you have to take 5 steps back and work on your commitment, and if you realy want to improve as a person.

If you do not believe its possible... i will show you how confortable on my own skin im now!

Good luck!

_________________
Im not a player... im a winner!

Great advice! I will absolutely spend some time being more introspective. Also, do you know if the book is available as an e-book? I am an avid reader and kind of a hippie, so I went green with it. If it doesn't, Borders is my next stop

So, I am planning on taking my research and putting it into action tonight. Any last minute advice for anything? Please keep in mind that I am going for the 25-30 age group. I will likely be with three other girls and I would be the alpha. I usually am, though I've always tried to pass it off to someone else. Now I've realized that it is what I should be to get to the level I am trying to attain, so I'll no longer try to change the natural order.

I am still trying to figure out how I can peacock, but I'm sure my girl friends can help. If you guys could say what kind of things you like to see on women, that would be amazingly helpful. I have a great body, I'm just a little shy about showing it off. Okay, so I'm really shy about showing it. It's stupid because I spend a ton of time and effort working on it to keep it that way, you would think I would want to reveal a little more. I don't want to come across as a hoochie! I'm bigger than most my size up top, so low cut automatically makes me look like I am looking for the wrong kind of attention.

Don't worry so much about what you're wearing clothes-wise. As long as it doesn't look like you just picked up out of your hamper, or at the 99c store, it'll be fine. (Yeah, I sound like I'm giving real "guy" advice, eh?) You don't have to show off skin to get attention, either. Guys will recognize you're in shape and attractive anyways.

What peacocking should do, is bring guys to you in the first place, not just keep them leering. Something that you may be able to pull off, is have you and you girlfriends dress up like it's a theme night. For example, old black and white movies. Dress up as your favorite characters, and you'll definitely stand out. Just a sample suggestion.

Good luck!

I love the theme idea! I think that is something I can get my girls to run with. They are pretty good at peacocking themselves, but it isn't my usual style. I've always blended in to avoid notice. Obviously, if I don't change anything I won't get different results, right?

And, yes... that was a very 'guy' response! So, what you are saying is as long as I change out of my gym clothes, I'm good, right? (joking!)

If you decide to use peacock theory, I would recommend you to gradually improve. Make sure you are comfortable with what you are going to wear. Don't overdo it. Your image and your attitude should be congruent. If I tell you to picture a rock star, a business woman, and a doctor, and than I tell you to describe how you imagine they carry themselves at a nightclub, im pretty sure you will have a pretty distinct description of them... but somehow congruent with their look. If it looks like you are trying too hard, its going to work against you. You need to be comfortable with your image, and from what I read, that is not something you have a problem with. I see you are comfortable and confident with your physical appearance. Your main issue seems to be your attitude and the way you carry yourself, that impression that you give to ppl after they approach you.
A practical advice, use something on your hair such as a fashionable hat or hard headband with a flower, a bow, or feathers. From your description, looking attractive is not an issue, so you will get approach regardless. The point of using a cute headband or head accessory is to look less intimidating, meaning... the hotter a girl looks, the more intimidated and guy will feel about approaching her. When you think of a flower, or a bow or something alike, dont you associate it with positive feeling such as tranquility, happiness, warmness?! At a subconscious level, guys will respond to that. They will approach you with a lower energy level, gentler. This will help you feel more comfortable interacting with them because they are not gonna be as hyper. Im not saying that you want a very relaxing guy... but at this stage, I truly believe you need to work on your attitude and you need to interact with ALL kinds of people... men, women, young, old, attractive, less attracting. You need to learn how to calibrate and give yourself a chance to listen to ppl. Im not saying that you have to put up with every1 that comes up to you, but make their job easier and be more receptive... its for your own benefit! REMEMBER that at this stage, your goal is not to find Mr. Right or whatever you are looking for... the goal is to work on yourself, become the person you will want to be and overcome your insecurities.
I would actually suggest you try my advice and, some other night, try on a more sexier seductive look and see the difference on the type of ppl, the way they will approach you, etc.

Im gonna stop here... its now my turn to go get my sexy on ... its friday night!!! New York New York... here i come!!!!

_________________
Im not a player... im a winner!

I actually didn't get to read this one before I left. I really like it, though and will try a different look next time I go to gauge the different reactions I get. The way that I decided to peacock was pretty minute. I ended up going a little flashier on my makeup. I have very big blue eyes and that is what most people tell me attracts them right off. Since that is my second biggest asset, I played it up to the best of my ability without going overboard. I didn't want to scare people away! (my Avatar is actually me, though I don't know how well you can see what I am referring to) I normally take the safe route and everything is understated so I blend in more.
Besides that, I always look very unapproachable because I'm not smiling or looking open to the idea of talking to people. It comes from being insecure and nervous! Very nervous!! I smiled more, I talked to every person that smiled back at me and I used a lot of light kino. I learned pretty quickly that people were more relaxed if I touched them lightly on the arm during a natural part of the conversation. That was something simple that had a big impact that I didn't expect. I'm usually very hands off. I don't like being touched by people I don't know, and like most people, I assume everyone else feels the same way. That perspective has definitely changed. I found that when I touched someone else and they did it back later on in the conversation, I didn't mind so much. Then it became fun. I would kind of time it and, without fail, they would touch me back in a similar way within about two minutes.
Well, my night was pretty enlightening to say the least. I'll post what actually happened in the field report section since I think I've overstayed my time on the introduction part
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to my amateur questions! It really did help me a lot and I will be doing lots of reading and practicing. I can't wait to see how far I can go with this!

I kno im late but welcome to the forum! Noticed you live in Spokane, I'm from Portland Enjoy your stayy

"I've always been able to let my instincts guide me to people that were more like me until a few years ago. I'm just out of practice. I don't know how I used to do it, but this way seems much better than my way"

Wow now you sound like you're talking about me dude. I think its just about shaking off the old cobwebs and getting back to business as you put it. Glad to see you in the forum Pagan!

_________________
Just trying to shake off the cobwebs...

Thanks for the welcome!

I tried a different look last night when I went out with another girlfriend and got a much different response. I didn't approach anyone simply because I didn't have the opportunity to. I got hit on by five guys. Every time one left, another would show up. Not complaining, but I really wanted to try out some of the things that I have learned. I'm not sure if it was the clothes or the body language or both. I've worked really hard on seeming more welcome to the idea of conversation with strangers. I think it also helps that I've been making more acquaintances because we like going to the same place. We are trying some where new this week sometime.

Again, thanks guys for all of your advice! It really has been helping me get my confidence back and it is absolutely working! I'm actually really shocked at how easy it was, I just had to let down the barriers a bit and let go of the anxiety

It’s great to know that this whole "science" and community helps not only men but women as well. Women usually look at this Venusians art as merely a form of seduction and a kind of an unfair way of allowing men to get women. IT’S WAY BEYOND THAT! Im pretty sure that every1 of us knows at least one person who has lots to offer but doesn’t know how. Some1 you know that just wants to show the world how great he/she is... but doesn’t have the means to do it! This is about becoming a better individual, becoming more successful, achieving goals, growing as a person, etc...
I have been "studding" PUA material for over 2 years now. It all started with skepticism which soon chanced into fascination. It allowed me to meet people who had a great impact on me... and to make a great impact on people I met. I can, with no doubt, say that studding this for of art helped me build into some1 I admire, and that is why I decided to join this forum, so I can give my contribute to the community!
I hope this community helps you become who you want to be!
Keep in touch!

_________________
Im not a player... im a winner!

I agree with your take on how the majority of women would view this, but I don't agree with the action. There is nothing wrong with getting a leg up on the competition! Not everyone inherently knows how to do this.
I also agree that it can come in handy for other aspects of life. Some people really do just need a little guidance to set them on their path. I was also a skeptic for about the first five minutes. That lead to intrigue, which lead to fascination. And here I am