Hey guys, looking from sound advice from people who actually could build a real relationship.

I'm approaching 30, I've had my share of HBs and I'm ready to settle down. But that's where I have no clue how or what to do. I've asked advice before but couldn't really get anything worth as most of the replies were directed towards gaming even more girls (been there, done that).

What I'm looking for is how to get a relationship moving forward. Let me explain.

I was talking with a buddy of mine yesterday, he was one of my good wingsmen. He settled down a year ago so I figured I'd ask him what his process was. He said something like "If you want her to think of you as boyfriend material, you have to act like so. Meaning you have to be more present that with the other girls you were casually dating. Don't AFC on her but do contact her more often than girls you just want to hook up with."

Last thing he told me was "Take it easy".

Now, his advice is sound, but kind of opposite of what I'm used to doing. Usually cutting contacts was a good way to build attraction. Whenever I used to contact a girl more than twice a week, she would usually felt pulled in.

What my buddy is telling me is to actually pull her in, but not got AFC. How does this sound to y'all?

I mean so far, there's a girl I see I could settle with. Been casually dating for a few months (like seeing each other like once a month). I saw her this weekend, haven't spoken to her since then. Going by my buddy's advice, I should be contacting her more often, make plans for dating more often.

Advice I'm looking for is what does more often means? I mean I feel that if we don't spend enough time without talking, I will have little to say and quickly move to small talk... But then again my buddy said something like "you don't have to be super interesting all the time, just be interested in how she's doing, what she's up to. Show you care... again without going AFC".


So, let me know what y'all are thinking.

Cheers!

I guess I went through the same experience.. although mine was pretty clear cut. I dated a bunch of losers from online and found a great girl that was light years ahead..

I'm not sure how often is to often.. I think seeing her 2 times a week is s good start. Try for the weekdays, rather than weekends. Weekend nights are for friends and friends with benefits. Weeknights subtly say "let's dip our toes into a relationship."

I think one concept to adopt internally is where you want to make her feel secure. She's you're girl, and you want to take care of her. This is a gradual shift. Don't start getting all possessive right away... but start thinking that.

I think a lot of it's physical. Wrap your arms around her, give her a squeeze and a kiss on the back of the neck. Do that without foreplay in mind. Look into her eyes and brush her hair back. Do a romantic dinner date or two. Maybe work on these kinds of things for a few weeks until deeper feelings start to develop. Don't go saying how you feel. Actions speak louder than words. She'll likely confess her feelings at some point, and then it will be safe to agree.

I say this but everyone's different. I just hope there are some hints you can use. Overall, I think you need to relax and shift you focus to one girl is all. Lack of confidence will kill a relationship much like it will kill your game. Just start being more of secure, confident provider. Push-pull and negging and all that crap is not going to work past the first few weeks.