I've got a date with an HB9 in a few nights, and I'm confident I can get her back to my apartment. But as I was picking songs for the playlist, I realized that most of the songs are by male singers with AFC lyrics. e.g. "I love you forever / Please don't hurt me" etc. I don't want to break state at the most crucial point in the night.

So I thought about putting a bunch of female singers in the playlist, leading HB9 to channel the desperation in those singers' lyrics. But then I'm this manly guy who only listens to female singers? That's a little weird. At the very least I think I need to break up the female singers' songs with some by male artists. Does anyone have any recommendations for singers / songs that will keep me in state?

What I have personally found is that the lyrics don't matter so much as rhythm and sound of the songs. One of my favorite "mood setters" is 'Breakin my Heart' by Mint Condition. Lyrics-wise, probably not a good choice. But how I play my music is simply soft and in the background. You will probably be doing things while its playing that you should be paying more attention to than distinguishing lyrics. And she will too. Look for soft and mellow R&B songs, that preferably have a slow but steady beat. That will get the temperature right more so than any sort of lyrics.... unless it's Karaoke night.

As for male versus female vocalists, I personally don't think it matters, although it's an interesting idea to have her channeling the female singer's song. Again, I'm going to argue that it's the sound they're putting out more than who they are. As an example, Luther Vandross and Diana Krall, meld together smoothly, because they're both usually soft singers. I just wouldn't be mixing Barry White and Pat Benetar, for obvious reasons.

i dont know if this is an AFC thing but i always have a dvd/movie/ tv series something to ''watch'' going in my room whenever a girl turns up so theres always back ground noise and i've never found it get in the way or be counter productive... music (to me) seems abit i dont know corny and cliché but thats just me

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Heh, good call on Mint Condition! Old school, but that's some classic R&B.

Sheps, yeah, makeout music is definitely cheesy; but the point is to get the girl in a romantic frame of mind, to get her lost in the moment. They watch a romantic movie, and they notice the music, and so when she's with you she feels like she's in a movie, playing a role that's exciting and maybe a little out of step with her usual moral code.

But it's delicate balance, because you can't make it too obvious. If you start out with freakin' Marvin Gaye "Let's Get It On," she's gonna roll her eyes. So I'm designing my playlist to start with some good, familiar but sexually neutral songs, just to get her to let down her guard.

Mind you, we're not gonna be staring at the iPod. This is just music that's on in the background while we're talking / drinking. And so it's an opportunity for subliminal persuasion. I start with songs that have lyrics that, if she channels them, will get her feeling attractive, sexy. Then a song or two to make her feel lucky to be with me. Then the more intense movie make out music (I've lined up Nichole Alden's "Baby Now" for this moment).

If she hasn't given a signal she's ready for the bedroom yet, then I'll let my comfort-building song sink in: "By Your Side." (Sade) Maybe I'll pop another song in there that's a combo of comfort and seduction, and from there it's just the sex, so no subliminal persuasion needed.

tenonine if you're relying on a play list doesnt that kind of put an extra pressure on you to escalate at a certain pace because the songs will change?
i guess thats why i go for movies

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That's not really the way I look at it. When the songs slow down and become more suggestive in their lyrics, I calibrate my speech, proximity, kino, as if I'm taking a cue from the music. So this way, the progression seems natural, as if we're hearing a soundtrack to a movie we're both in.

So for the first few songs, I'm fixing our drinks and we're chatting casually, because I want her to be comfortable, unthreatened about being in my place. We sit down, she takes a few drinks, and the music begins to slow and I've steered the conversation to more personal, intimate subjects. Then some compliance testing to see if the alcohol and music is having its desired effect. If for some reason she's moving slower than the music, I just get up and change it. (I have another playlist that takes longer to get intimate, if that's what I need.)

The thing I don't like about movies / TV is that she's living vicariously through the characters on the screen. Her attention isn't on you. And so the moment you touch her, it breaks that spell, in what may be an awkward, unpleasant way. She can't fully enjoy your company, nor can she fully enjoy the movie. It'll be annoying to her.

But by the same token, it's good to have something playing on the screen, so that you don't feel constant pressure to look at one another. So after starting the music, I flip on a Fellini or Godard picture, because they're visually romantic filmmakers. Shows that I'm cultured, too, and adds another conversation topic if things stall. But since the movies are in Italian / French, there's no real danger of her saying, "kill the music so I can hear what they're saying." She's watching a muted movie, listening to suggestive music and talking to me, all at the same time. Unless she's a great multitasker she'll have a hard time doing all these things at the same time as she thinks about her boyfriend, or the friend she promised she was going to pick up, or whatever else is the obstacle to sex.

Anyway, the one thing for me is that I have an impulse to tune in to the lyrics of a song and to do an emotional lip synch. It's hard to resist that, and that's why I was looking for songs with lyrics that could keep me in state. I think the problem is that I have mostly rock music; R&B lyrics tend to be more masculine, less needy.

OM Records!

Get any of there "Chill" or "Lounge" compilations, they're on iTunes or Text removed by moderator for violation of the forum rules. Your next violation may result in a ban from the forum. them. Not much in way of vocals, maybe a "oh baby i love you"

Girls compliment me on my musical taste all the time.

I also DJ

Last girl I f-Closed I had my computer on with music and she kept picking songs she liked when we weren't busy

"Slow Grind" CD

Check it out she'll like it

lol if you want some alpha music you can check out some lil wayne stuff

Along the line of instrumentals, I once had a friend who swore by massive attack and nothing else.

(I wonder if he accidentally trained himself Pavalov-ian dog style?)

I find this one always helps set the mood nicely;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LBmUwi6mEo

This one is especially good, particularly if you want to take it that step further;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU

Pop in an album by the American Dreammm

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Always down to sarge in NYC - Holla at me

Light my fire by the doors.
It's a killer when you want to turn the heat on.

And use this if you've got a dirty girl: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84E5-7brWdI

I really don't give that much attention to the music. It's just background music... If she's listenning to the music, not you, it's already fucked up. She should be giving you her FULL attention. She, should not remember a single song from that playlist, after you fucked her so hard, that she was hardly able to walk. Get what I say? Any slow, relaxing song will do a very good job, but that won't get the girl laid, because that is your job.

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