Can a PUA out there tell me what's wrong with my profile? My response rate is kinda low. Thanks!

username:blazini67 (site won't allow me to link yet)

The first paragraph is a bit of a chore to read. It doesn't reveal any information about yourself, nor does it build your perceived value. The second paragraph is way too generic. I have all the qualities you listed. Everyone does.

You say you want to get into stand-up. Therefore, I would expect you to be funny throughout the profile. Don't be afraid to crack jokes as often as you can, just don't try too hard. Also, work on the generic-ness of your overall profile. There's really not a whole lot in there that makes you stand out from everyone else.

For example, the six things you can't do without: "Friends, family, air, water, food, & shelter." I haven't met anyone who can't do without air, water, food or shelter.