| I had just finished a fun night of coaching Night of Mayhem. Marriages were proposed, ninja poses were struck and students social freedom barriers were smashed. I decided some sex would be a good way to top off the night, so I headed to the Carlton Club alone. The door lady told me I was drunk, I told her I had just finished work and was stone cold sober.
"Why are you shaking then?" she asked. "Maybe pretty girls make me nervous" I replied with a grin. She hit me playfully and let me in (and remembered me the next night allowing me to queue jump).
I was on my way to the smoking area when I saw how packed it was and said "I think I'm just gonna stay here and talk to these girls sitting here". I sat down and scared the girl I approached, both by approaching her from behind and falling over the stool as I tried to sit down. Not a very graceful opener.
"HI...Sorry, did I scare you?"
"Yes!" she said tensely.
"Ok let me try again" I got up and re-approached, and this time was much more polite. She still acted shocked (as a joke). She was playing along and flirting with me.
I sat down and started chatting to them, we all introduced each other.
This is a great example of how the opener really doesn't matter as long as you are relaxed and able to read the woman's signals. In the past my nerves at this terrible opening would have got the better of me. I would have bumbled awkwardly and dragged out the tension, rather than gracefully admitting my fault and moving past it quickly.
I began chatting to her and was introduced to the other four girls, and soon we were all happily chatting.
Their friend came back from the bar and someone said "Hey you're in her seat! What would a gentleman do?"
"He would offer for her to sit on his lap"
"no! I'm not sitting on your lap!" said the blonde girl (who I would later take home and have bent over my bed, moaning for me to fuck her deep.)
I said "Ok well your friend can sit on my lap...and you can have her seat."
The brunette girl I was hitting on told me she was married. I whispered in her ear "oh sweet, that means you have to live through your friends. So you're gonna have to help me hook up with your blonde friend here" I turned and started chatting to the blonde girl.
She was very cold, sarcastic and standoff-ish. This is something that in the past I would have misinterpreted as her being disinterested, but now I see it for what it is: her being nervous because she's talking to a cute guy. After a bit of flirting I told her I needed some water and that she should come with me to the bar. Once I got my water we moved to a secluded seat, where things got really hot. We chatted for a while, she asked me who I was here with, I said I came alone.
"You must be very confident" She said. "Well...yes. But confidence to me isn't being fearless. It's the bravery to feel that fear and not let it hold you back. I knew I would feel funny being here alone but I came anyway. Good decision, now that I'm talking to you, right?" I said with a seductive stare.
We chatted for a while longer. "Ask me a question..." I told her at some point.
She paused, pondering, and I said "NO do NOT ask me that..." as she was about to say "so what do you do?".
"Ask ME a question then” she said.
I paused, then asked her "Want to come home with me?" She looked a bit taken aback and she stalled an answer while we discussed whether she should tell me her answer or not.
"I don't think you should answer. Because if its no now, you might change your mind later and it's easier to go back on it if you don't say it out loud".
"What if I said no then?" she asked.
"Then I'd ask you on a date". Her eyes lit up. "Really?"
"yeah. But it'll be something cheap, like you come grocery shopping with me. What are doing tomorrow?"
"oh I need to go grocery shopping too! Lets go at 3pm"
I took out my phone and wrote it in my diary. We kept chatting for a while longer, about sexual liberation, and the craziest place she had ever had sex. I ranted about the double standard women face when they have sex and how I like sexually adventurous girls.
Periodically during our interaction her friends would look over and yell "kiss!!" or keep peeking over their chairs at us. They were also sending her texts with "kiss him already!" and "pash so we have something to watch!" I had no intention of kissing her at the club and I told her this. She was not a big fan of public make-outs either so we were bonded together in our refusal to kiss for the crowd.
At one point they got some guys who were chatting to them in on it to yell "kiss!" at us too. The irony of being employed as a trigger pulling coach who had just finished work and having 8 people all yelling at me to pull the trigger was not lost on me.
I stood up and yelled ‘a true gentlemen does not kiss a woman in a public place!’ and that shut them up.
We kept talking, and every now and then I would run my hand up her leg. She would let it go until it reached her crotch then she would shoo it away. "You’re a creep." she said. "Yeah. I get that a lot. But I don't learn my lesson coz the girls who say that usually have sex with me shortly after. If women keep rewarding me for being creepy, I don't have much incentive to change."
She giggled. I slid my hand up her leg again. The reason I kept doing it us because I was paying attention to her signals: she stopped me, yet kept sitting with me and passively accepting my touch. After the fourth time she said "that's not fair! Stop it!" I said "It's not fair because you're enjoying it?"
"yeah! And I can't act on it in a public place..."
"Lets go shopping then. Let's go grocery shopping right now"
"Ok... I just have to go to the toilet" She left, came back, bid her friends farewell and I led her by the hand to my car to go "grocery shopping" at 4am. To my surprise, we drove to my place and had sex instead. This was exactly what I had anticipated happening. I’ve rarely had a girl agree to my verbal offer of sex, but it always puts it in the back of their mind so that when I offer a more subtle alternative later we both know they are agreeing to sex. Just like in The Ivy in Sydney when I asked the girl to ‘come to those sex bathrooms’ and she said no, but said yes to ‘going for a walk somewhere’ 5 minutes later.
This isn’t so much to do with the words I'm using but my overall frame: I'm clearly presenting myself as the sex guy, the guy they can go on an adventure with, the guy they can indulge with who won’t judge them for it. I'm presenting them something they are rarely offered so they jump at the chance.
After the sex, I could tell from our interaction and the lack of spark that this would be a one night stand and nothing more. I offered to drive her home, and as we were getting dressed said "so do you do one night stands often?" with a very clear subtext that this was one of them. This was a polite way of letting her know where I stood. She smiled and got the hint, clearly glad I had let her know but in a tactful way.
I then said "I was just thinking about something my friend said a while ago. He said that it's funny when guys get angry at a girl for "lying" about having a boyfriend, or "lying" by giving out a fake number. But they never seem to get angry when a woman invites them over to watch a movie and they end up having sex instead...no one accuses her of "lying" about the movie…And for a second I felt guilty about "lying" that I would take you on a date. But then I realized you also "lied" to me when you said you wanted to go grocery shopping at 4am. You didn't, you lair! You wanted to come to my house for sex!" We both laughed and I drove her home.
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CHAT
