the thing is lads i know in my head i'm being an AFC about this i've got the
"but this girl is different" or "im not the same as all these other loosers" or "but our relationship was different" mentality and its stupid the bitch doesnt deserve a guy as good as me if anything she drags me down.
But in my heart i dont care. I guess its because its still fairly fresh and she rejected me but i cant help how i'm feeling...

i am trying to take everyones advice on both sides of this situation because i realise i'm getting some quality stuff and i've given some good stuff on how to get your gf back to others (which i promptly ignored in my own situation *sigh*) but when i'm not busy my mind keeps coming back to this girl.

time wounds all heal *farscape reference anyone?* so hopefully it'll get better.

Thanks for the input i'd still like to hear what people have to say so dont let this thread die

Sheps

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I seriously feel your pain on this as I've been there - there's nothing worse than feeling like your heart has been ripped out and she's dancing on it in her ridiculous heels that she could never walk down the street properly in in the first place.

But women in my experience tend to end things for one of 2 reasons:

1) she thinks she can do better
2) she's at that point where she's asking herself where it's going and can you give it to her?

Either way, moping around like a dog just took a shit in your gym back (assuming you have a gym back) isn't going to help.
You need to suck up all that wet useless energy that you're wasting in her direction and direct it at yourself. How could you improve?? Have you put on a few (or more) extra pounds since you've been with her? Have you stopped bothering to get your hair cut? Could you do with getting a tan? Were you so busy taking her out for dinner that you didn't have any money to spend on actually kitting yourself out in clothes that made you look good??

My advice is to work on yourself before you even ATTEMPT to get her back. Spend £150 going to a tooth whitening place and get your teeth bleached and get some dental trays to wear at night. Find a sun bed and have a couple of sessions - you don't need to be orange, just a "I went to spain for a ling weekend" kind of tan. Go to house of fraser or selfridges and make use of a personal shopper if you're a bit fashionably retarded and pick up a few new bits and finally find a gym near your work and enrol - or if you already go make use of a trainer, design a new regime and really start to see a benefit.

In a months time I guarentee you'll be attracting so much tail you wont even remember her names, she'll be looking at you thinking "what the fuck, he looks so good" and you;ll be feeling like a different person.

Good luck.

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I came, I saw...

Hey man, I am in a similar place. My GF and I just split because of the same reasons...I basically gave her all of the power in the relationship and became a AFC needy piece of crap. I've been reading "The Magic of Making Up" but I'm only in week one of a four week process. Based on what I've read in PUA, this book/process is spot on. In the end, if you don't get her back or decide to take her back, you'll be a much better person because the focus is on inner game and resetting everything during the no contact phase.

"the magic of making up" huh? is that any good? i checked on amazon but theres only one for kindle (whatever that is im assuming one of those ebook things) is there a downloadable one or something?

also my mate told me he used this guy Matt Huston's system for getting back your ex has anyone heard of it and if so is it any good?

Thanks

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I have both systems now. They are basically the same. They both are only available via their respective websites. Just search google and you'll find them pretty easily. I can't tell you about any results because I really just started the process. I'll know a lot more in 3-4 weeks.

alright mate thanks anyhow

post your progress in this thread though dude it'd be cool to see how you get on.
Good Luck though hope you get the best result mate

Sheps

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After breaking up with me, unfriending me and our mutual friends on Facebook, and completely ignoring me for a week she texted me today. She said she had been thinking of me and hoped I was having a good day. I waited a few hours and texted her Thx. I am having a good day, hope you are too. I simply left it at that. I am really trying to focus on me and get my head straight, will see what happens next. I'm not even sure that I would go back to her if she wanted to.

I get asked that question a lot since I am a Romantic Event Planner. I would love to help you try to get her back. All you need to do is show her that you will fight for her and do nice things to make her fall back in love with you.

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Marriage Proposal and Date Planner
www.theheartbandits.com
blog.theheartbandits.com

you're on the right path man. its the only thing that can improve your position if you ask me at the minute.
Keep texts brief be friendly but don't get drawn into long conversations.

Good luck bro

Sheps

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ok so 2 days ago i bumped into my ex we walked to where she was going and talked for about 10 minutes.
She kept telling me how good i looked and how nice i smelled but then she said to me i could ''do what i want because your single" which through me a little bit

then she wanted to come over to mine after work today for some reason and i told her no, she wants to meet up tomorrow before work but i told her it would be better to do it another day (thursday) so shes not rushing around from place to place.

What do we think, did i handle this right?

i DO want her back

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Don't even bother. Just move on. Girls just fuck with your head and want to know they could still have you. You'll hang out feel all great and at the end of the day she still won't come back to the relationship and you'll feel used and like shit. It happened to me and now I know better. Kick her out of your life. She dumped you so make her pay by becoming a great man and living a good life. Even if she wants you back just say you blew it and go get other girls. GL

my ex wants me back. lol.

she knows her man now is a player who "gamed" her with attraction.

the guy clearly knows pua from what i've heard.

although she doesn't realize it.

he has no inner game and has been exposed for a total douche.

i love it when i'm at the end of an uber-intense workout, covered in sweat, wearing a tight fitting nike shirt, hanging from my pullup bar with 45 lbs on my waist and she walks in to drop off my daughter.

the look of defeat on her face is priceless.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

sup shep

damn dood i lost my girl for the same damn reason.. i became a big emo pussy basically. I've been appreciating all your help man on my thread bout my ex. It's been eating me alive thinking of this girl. The most I've gotten is Facebook messages.. its like wtf? we lived together and were together for 5+ years and all you can do is fkn fb me? fuck that. So she messaged me saturday and i havent quite responded yet.

I started getting upset at work, having to take walks and all that type of stuff to keep my head together.. The last two days i just gained a new mentality. "be the man" not a man..but "THE man". When I find myself getting upset, or needy I just think "would THE man do this?" would THE man cry? or beg for a girl back? hell no. THE MAN would take it smooth confident, witty and slip under this girl when she least expects it shes falling for you again. Well... I dont know if i can get her back or not at this point. I'm trying. But THE MAN, never stops on just one, as much as that might hurt.

Someone said it here "the person least invested in the relationship has all the control" that is the biggest eye opener I have read in a while. To the point where I'm pulling my investments out of her bank and putting them back into myself. Spent 300 today on some clothes, been at the gym daily the past few months, strict eating habbits to gain muscle, and working on the tan. Can't say it's what i WANT to do...but THE MAN, would be..

good luck bro. HOPEFULLY we can pull this off, cause we stand in the exact same spot.

this is the exact thing that happened to me i must have ruined two good pairs of shoes trying to get my head straight lol but then i had the same realisation.
i can genuinely say that it doesn't hurt so bad now, and that i still want to give the relationship another shot because I want too. My mentality is (and i can say this with 100% honesty) "If she is not lucky enough to get back together with me, oh well, thats just tough luck for her".

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