Last night I was at the bar hanging out w/ a friend and I was approached by a very cute HB8 - blonde, pouty lips, chubby cheeks... =) (Yes that's right... she approached me!! UNBELIEVABLE!!)

She noticed that I had been reading a Janet Evonovich novel before my friend arrived and we started talking books... She was clearly interested...

THEN I FROZE!!! I was thinking about doing the "ESP Routine" which I'd used to open two single sets earlier in the day, but I started thinking she'd think it was goofy... or what if it didn't work? So the conversation died - oh yeah... and she was with some guy at the bar, who I found out later was just a friend of hers although I also found out she's married... But since she wasn't with her hubby I assume that she wanted me to ask for her number, but I tried to save it by dropping my card w/her before I left and telling her to check out my website and contact me if she wants to buy a copy of my book...

So what should I have done..? I could have used the ESP and then done a "ring routine" and tried to # close on a palm reading get together...????

My friend was flabbergasted and couldn't believe I didn't get her number... but I was over it and felt it was an opportunity to post a great failure on here and get some feedback...

What do you think guys...?

Lovecraft...

The answer is ANYTHING to keep the set going! I don't care if you're talking about rainbows, butterflies, skittles, favorite brand of laundry detergent if you two are having fun and engaged in the conversation... The point is to learn how to think on your feet better.

She APPROACHED YOU... so you have to assume she's attracted to you interested in you. The GREAT NEWS is you don't have to do as much to build attraction...it's your job not to screw it up, and then build some connection with her!

Don't come down on yourself too hard, believe me I screwed up a WHOLE LOT before I got good with this. Give yourself persmission to goof up... the good news is the more you screw up the better you'll get.

I can tell your game is already screwed simply by you using routine as a tactic to get women.

Learning inner game should be your next step.

That sucks, dude. I've been there. And I don't quite agree that it's worth while to keep the conversation going at any cost. I find that you lose a TON of tension that way. The girl tends to snap out of her spell. She thinks, "I guess I don't have the strong connection I thought, because now I'm getting bored." Plus, most attractive girls have lots of bad experiences of being cornered by a guy at a bar or party who was just trying to filibuster until he generated attraction. Once it gets boring, the girl is thinking about a polite way of exiting the convo.

It takes some practice, but that "freeze up" moment is an excellent time to get her to qualify herself, to shift some of the conversation pressure to her. Anything you can say that carries an undertone of, "Impress me."

Don't be afraid to let that silence linger. If you're looking into her eyes, it can be a powerful tension builder.