| Yesterday I received a very funny phone call from a close friend. He is court ordered to attend AA even though he not an alcoholic. Part of deal he worked out. So once a week he has to sit in a room filled with depressed people talking about how they fought the urge to drink a glass of champagne at their sister's wedding and such. But AA is not just, "lets talk about your day" they actually make these people do affirmations and exercises to help with personal issues. That part is totally cool on my part, good, help people.
But this day the exercise just got weird, super depressing and morally intrusive. He told me he was told, he would have to write his own eulogy. In his words, "The first said to myself, those to dumb blondes don't know what that is... and I was right 2 minutes later they asked what it was"..."Then I said I wouldn't do it because it was fucked up so I sat there with a grumpy look on my face hoping the breeze from outside would blow one of the blonde skirt up...it almost did"
I laughed and thought to myself three times, all different thoughts about this exercise. Now I am not a psychologist but I do know about this particular exercise. My first thought was, wow, how fucked up is that, you're going to be so depressed, wouldn't that make people want to drink after.
Then I thought, well it's obviously a way for people to look at themselves through the eyes of friends, family and co-workers. The idea is that the person looks at themselves and says, a lot of people love me, I'm a bad person who needs help and change. It's a self-image-actualization. How you perceive other people see you.
But then I thought, wait, self-image-acutalization is not the best way to go through life. Hey lets live life through a social conditioned image and the "perfection" image. Let's look at ourselves as imperfect with goals of being perfect. Here's where I disagree with the "inner game" AA was trying to teach. If you want someone to look at their core values, principles, and beliefs then a self-image exercise will only hurt you.
For example, S-I-A, I think my co-worker sees me as a suave, good-looking man, who bangs everything from here to mars, and is pig-headed. Translation, I need to work on myself so I can gain acceptance from this person.
My question is why does this matter? Yes people's opinion of you does matter, especially at an office or your job. I know guys here will say it shouldn't but go to hell, if your boss thinks your a dick, your not getting promoted. Way the world works.
Instead of this S-I-A why not just a Self-Actualization. How you see yourself. Who you truly are. Example 1: Bad self image: I suck at life, I'm ugly, I'm out of shape, I'm a loser. Translation, bad self image and the point across would be I have to work on these things for myself, these things are holding back my happiness.
Example 2: Good self image: I love life, I rock like superstar, I'm super attractive and women love me. Translation: large self-esteem, I don't want to change because I'm awesome.
I just believe AA can lear
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