Hi

I have talked to this HB9 two weeks ago on a gig of my band where she was and booked us for her event in three weeks. Me and my friends talked to her about it for a minute, then I talked to her a few sentences alone, nothing big really. Even though I held eye contact and she responded (eye-contact-wise and talking-wise), I didn't really make any more advances that night because I was busy with the gig and the people really celebrated us.

Now I got the invite for her event on FB and want talk to her online before I see her again on the gig.
So, I want to open just with messaging her what time my band is going to be on and if we're the first or second band.
Then I wanted to put in a second opener with asking if she knows the name of the sound engineering because we need to contact him.
Then I thought I could try to neg her. All I can come up with though is to say something like "I've got the feeling we've met before, but you look a bit funny in your profile picture."

But I'm not sure if that's going to work and can't think of a better way to neg her or another way to turn the conversation from pure information exchange to flirting. The goal is to lay the foundation so that I can launch into flirting face to face when I see her without it being strange.

Also, should I wait with doing this until shortly before the date I'll see her? I've got the feeling that not-talking or talking online takes the erotic-energy out of any relationship to a girl.

Let me know what you think.

Best
YoungMan

I am not a fan of the fb close. I feel that if I don't get those digits it's a waste. If you had gotther her number it would have given you the opportunity to text her.

I will follow that up by saying that I am a musician too, and it doesn't appear that chicks are really interested in coming to a show. A party girl, maybe... but civilian girls... no luck for me.

I think it has something to do with us not adding value to the situation... Sure it's a great DHV for us if she likes our performance, but then she's down there all alone without anyone to entertain her... and that is our initial job right? We need to be attentive and add value to the situation...

I think a coffee shop D2 would be more effective... just my 2 cents...

Lovecraft...

I don't actually have her on facebook. The idea was to open on fb so that I don't have to open when I see her and can just talk to her. And have a headstart over my mates haha

By the way, I agree on the number thing cause to me numbers still have a higher value somehow. And with texting the job can be done by just sending a few good texts whereas on facebook you're supposed to talk and talk every time you see her online....

So maybe I'll just add her and start asking stuff about the night she's organizing and hope it won't come off cheap

I actually did this very recently with a girl I'd had my eye on for a while. I had a class with her and actually listened when the professor took attendance one night and discovered her name. (A little creepy I suppose sure, but whatever, it got the job done.) Went home and added her on Facebook the next day. Waited for her to accept, she did, and started talking to her on Facebook. Used the same things I would if I were in person; started with an opener (in this case I prefaced it with: "Aren't you in my ethics class?), DHV'ed a little, was playful and used some routines when the conversation stalled, showed disinterest by letting her know that I was in a room full of people and trying to do some homework as well (all true statements). Just basically got to know her a little bit and number closed with a line that shouldn't have worked, but I got lucky I guess. Waited a little while and then texted her later that night. It worked really well, it allowed me to talk to her when I saw her next without a weird barrier up. It gave me a chance to DHV a few times and kind of get her where I felt more comfortable, and then I was just able to hang out and have fun with her.

Give it a shot, it's a good way to do it. As long as you remember to transition properly from monitor to real life. That means no more multitasking, pay attention, escalate kino, etc... Don't meet her in person and then forget to add in all the other elements or you'll just become the guy who's fun to talk to online sometimes when she gets bored.

You could bring her up to the stage, I don't know...

Thanks Vito. I guess then it won't hurt to try it out.

The bringing up on stage is a big step, but will leave an impression.

Another fb related problem. On Sunday an HB7.5 I've been flirting a lot with recently came to our gig and brought along her two friends HB6 and HB9.5. Soon I was entertaining the group of them and each of them alone too. Of course I talked a lot to HB7.5, because I've known her for a while, but at the same time gamed HB9.5 big time. Told her a lot about her feeling and what she should do and so on and related a lot. Also found out she's got a b/f cause she told me she doesn't know if she should go home to her homecountry to stay with him because he might be the one.
Told her that I personally never commit to people but to where I think my dream and future lies. But also repeated what I had said before that the answer to all decisions is what her gut is saying, what she feels as intuitive.

Well anyways, she invited me to her party on Saturday and said we should hang out, but I'm not here on Saturday and after that she goes home. So I told her to add me on facebook and we'll sort something out. After that I went home with HB7.5

Now she hasn't added me. And even though she has a b/f I can't just let a 9.5 off the hook like that. So I just added her. Thought if I'm waiting for her to add me I'll think about her too much. Now I feel a bit like asskissing, though. What do you think?

Kind of had to get this off my chest because I think I still played a good game overall, but please feel free to comment

Cheers

I love the line you dropped here about never committing to someone unless they are where your future lies. I may steal that from you and tweak it a little.

I agree that it would be a bad thing to wait around and wonder whether or not she's going to add you on Facebook. That has a nasty way to turn into one-itis FAST! At the same time, I don't think you should have necessarily added her either, but it was the lesser or two evils so it's not a big deal in my book at least. Although, (I must have cut it out of the quote by accident) letting the 9.5 off the hook like that isn't a big deal. Why? Three big reasons: she's going to another country, she has a boyfriend and you didn't mean to meet her the night of your show anyways. You were there for the 7. Granted, I would've gamed the shit outta the 9.5 too; however, you're also out there to get a girl, and the 7 was your initial target and (unless you forgot to add it) isn't moving to another country or debating about getting with you or her boyfriend.

I say keep going with the 7 and see what happens...

Well after she accepted me I sent her a message saying: "Hey
we had a really interesting conversation the other day. we gotta hang out some time"

Two days from there I haven't received an answer yet, so I've probably blown it.

I agree Vito, that this would be difficult anyway I just kind of tried to proof to myself that I can game a 9+


Now, I don't really want to ask what went wrong, but rather what I could have done differently (after having met her). I just want to know for if a similar situation should come up again where she's being like that the next day

You didn't blow anything. The problem with texting and e-mails and all other similar forms of communication is that you don't know what the person is doing at the time. They could be sitting in front of the device (phone/computer/etc) waiting like a puppy for your message or they could be running around the house doing chores and checking in only once every 20 minutes or they could (in your case) be one of those people that has a Facebook because they were more or less brainwashed into getting one. She might check it once a week or practically never...who knows.

Proving to yourself that you can game a 9+ is like proving to yourself that you can run for president. If you want to bad enough, you'll be able to. Just because she's hotter doesn't mean the game has a whole new set of rules. The only thing that changes is you have to neg a little more and you have to remember that the feeling of anxiety and worry all comes from YOU. It's you who's uptight about it, she's just having a conversation with you. If you want her bad enough and do the right things you'll have her. Also, keep in mind the number one rule of The Game: If you want to play, you HAVE to be ready to lose, over and over and over and over and over again. You're going to get rejected or shot down so many more times than you succeed, especially at first.

If the situation comes up again, you play the game again. The next 9+ you meet isn't going to be the same girl that this one was. She'll have a whole new set of characteristics because she'll be a whole new girl. All 5's 6's 7's 8's 9's don't behave the same way as all the others. That's part of what makes it so much fun. Every time you meet a girl you should be starting over from scratch more or less. You may take a few of the same steps and build certain routines, but they're each different people.

Don't worry about this one, it's not a failure, it's an experience. neither bad or good. Just an event.

Thanks for the advice.

I felt a bit bad about it during the day and tried to build myself up again with reading material (I'm at home at my parents' this week so no chance to go out for game and don't fancy fb at the moment)

I found something in The Mystery Method called Buyers' Remorse that might actually vaguely apply here.
That night, before I talked intensively with that girl, she also talked to a few other guys - may have been flirting. For sure, she was definitely pretty drunk.
Cut short, what Mystery says about Buyers' Remorse is that a girl feels uncomfortable with something she did the night before and therefore feels uncomfortable with the guy(s) from that night.
So, she was probably just that open because she was drunk, but actually loves her boyfriend. Now, sober, she wants to forget about it.

This explanation kind of makes sense to me and actually now I don't feel bad about it anymore. I feel like I learnt something from it.

Any comments on Buyers' Remorse?