2 weeks ago, my girlfriend met a guy online and they've become friends quite quickly, after 2 days she already had his number and accidentally sent me a text that was supposed to go to him, there was nothing incriminating in the text, but I was surprised to learn that she texts him until she falls asleep, because he has trouble sleeping. This pissed me off a bit, but I didn't really show it and I let it go.

Now today, she has told me that hes coming down this weekend to see her and that he wants her to go up to his in a couple of weeks and stay over, so she can watch his band play and shes really wants to go. Now, shes known the guy 2 fucking weeks so obviously I wasn't happy about it, and I said that I don't trust her with him, she reacting by cuddling up to me, but didn't really say much about it.

Now, what am I supposed to do here? Facts;

1. She hardly knows the guy
2. Hes coming down to see her
3. She wants to go up and stay at his place

what is her age ?
describe her personality in a few words.
how long are you together ?

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Shes 18

Sounds like he might be the dark mysterious type who is appealing to her. He might even have the Natural badass I'm a rock star and I don't give a fuck attitude. I hang with guys like this all the time and I see chicks lining up for them 6 deep. If you've started to get AFC or soft or catering to her in any way, you are slipping. You may need to freeze her out for a little while. Whatever you do, do not express any form of jealousy or controlling, or she will be sure to bolt straight into his bed.

i'd tell her to hook up with him, and text you to let you know how it was.

i mean, really, what could go wrong if your girlfriend goes away for a weekend with some awesome guy from a band and stays with him?

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So really, there's nothing I can do :/ I can't tell her not to go, that'd come off controlling, jealous and needy which means I'd end up losing her anyway.
I've started freezing her out and she's definitely noticed, shes been saying how quiet I've been. The thing is, before we got together, she cheated on one of her boyfriends with me, so there's every chance that shes going to cheat on me.

This thread just got retarded.

No offense, lol.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

you did not point out alot of specific important factors but i think we all know where this is going. i got one solution.. im not saying it's easy .... look she will fuck this guy , lets be honest....

1. either she goes and fuck this guy and you accept it and your relationship continue

2. you walk away....

no you cannot have serious conversation with her , she is 18 .. she isn't mature - probably more immature. If she was 23 or older i would tell you to talk about it and set some boundaries.

here i what i want you to do... delete her number , delete her facebook , delete everything regarding her , don't call her, don't talk to her.

she is not into your life anymore....how can you call this a girlfriend ? now you get a chance to cut her out of your life - it's a chance to not get AFC or emotional. Look if you have a million dollar business you need to make choices , most of them are hard but you got to do what is best for you - you are your business and act like it is.

the longer you keep her into your life the more emotional damage you will get because you will constantly ask yourself if she's cheating constantly. she is bad news .... she is not contributing to your life.

im talking from experience ... if girls do this kind of stuff especially with this kind of history they are going to cheat. this is just an example of a stupid unconcious dumb blonde creature which is walking earth in reaction jumping on everything that seems to have superficial value.

dude she crossed you boundaries.. you should be pissed about this ...ignore her ...don't even break up with her just cut her out of your life.

like mack said this is getting retarded ... it is just obvious what is going to happen...
this is even more retarded because why do you want to keep her ? jezus i would want to lose her .... she's a fucking retard ... i mean cmon everybody knows and we don't even know her... lol.

why do you want to keep her ? so you can read her ferrytales bedstories every night ? do you want to parent her or something ? because to me it's obvious she is going to cheat and here is a big clue ... maybe she already cheated on you before without you knowing ? she comes of like a professional , someone who jumps on dick from 2 miles away... this is number one reason why i tell guys to not pickup chicks who are cheating on their boyfriend.
1. you get emotionally attached
2. she's going to cheat on you as well

i mean lol ... you starting to freeze her out ? lol! you want control over something which you cannot get control off , do you want to hold a grenade which is cooking ? why in earth do you want control over such thing ? just throw it away.

you deserve to be cheated on because she cheated on her previous boyfriend with you... you are responsible for this in one way or another. it started with you and ends with you , what comes around goes around....

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Yeah, she's going to get fucked by this guy.

Cut her out. Choke back that inevitable pride sting. NEXT.

**EDIT** or accept this is gonna happen, and not be bothered in the slightest. Game some other women.

I don't know what makes me more angry - this girl trying to avoid responsibility and childishly trying to cuddle up to you as a way of attempting to diffuse the fact she's essentially planning on cheating on you, OR you actually allowing yourself to be treated like this.

I don't know what your relationship is like, but if it's a standard monogamous one, then she is clearly not respecting the boundaries of that at all. Why the fuck is she meeting other guys online, and planning on meeting them in person? How is that ok?

1. If monogamy is what you want with this girl, then you should lay down the law pretty clearly. She must think you're an idiot if she doesn't understand how the situation looks to you (regardless of whatever she says her true intentions are). If she wants to be with you, then this online bullshit and meeting this guy stops NOW. If she wants to meet this guy, then wish her a fantastic life with him and show her the door, forever. It's her responsibility and she's making a CHOICE she has to live with - you or him.

2. If you are willing to consider an open relationship with this girl, then sit down and discuss exactly what that is. Say you're totally willing for her to see other guys if she wants, but you don't want to hear about them. When you're together, it's just you two, and when you're apart, that's each others' business. HOWEVER, she must accept the fact that there will be days when you will be seeing other girls and that's the CHOICE she's made that she has to accept by being open with you.

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Perfectly and straight to the point.

Its like she is saying to you : "I want to fuck this guy I just met online, but I still like you"... WTF? Set boundaries for yourself and stop accepting bulsh*ts from girls. You are the catch, not that guy, and if she doesn't see that then go and find a girl who does.

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With great power comes great responsibility.

Mr Oceros is indeed correct.

To expand on my post a bit - there's no way that if you see this relationship as mutually exclusive that this kind of shit can fly - just do Ryan's point 1 - no drama or hissy fit, just say 'I don't tolerate this' and walk.

Or yeah, if you wanna go open relationship, then it must be clear both side that this is what's gonna happen.

Thing is, this whole thing with you and her STARTED with her cheating on someone else with you, there's no legs in this as an exclusive thing IMO.

I kinda get the feeling that she isn't gonna be mature enough to handle the 'rules' of an open relationship though, so I would be NEXTing to save on drama and spending some of this new time on gaming others

talking to her about boundaries will not work ... she probably will start verbal fights with you just to give herself a excuse to cheat.

i've had 3 girlfriends who were like this ... don't talk .. just take action - show them the door.

options
1. delete everything about her and never contact her again
2. text her you are dumping her and never contact her again
3. meet her and break up ...

2 sounds reasonable ... i always choose number 1 because if i simply don't like the girl anymore ( cheating material or other red flags ) im not going to take time explaining her why i broke up with her. whatever you say won't register anyway and the woman won't change anyway.... tried to change several woman and all stab me in the back ... don't be that nice to other people you are number 1.
3 sucks because she could try to hurt you emotionally ... she will try to manipulate you or try to make you beleive you are overreacting.

i don't understand why you should be nice to her ? because she is your girlfriend ? look she set up a date with this guy and we all know what is going to happen , she doesn't deserve respect - don't be nice to her - just dump her ass. if she comes crying to your house screaming in front of your door - GOOD... let her humiliate herself, she can cry it out on this guys shoulder .. or dick.... just be clear and be honest to yourself.

3 times i tried and 3 times they tried to hurt me emotionally ... i just tried to be good to them , big mistake... one threathened me to hurt me physically and told me to take my life ... just because they couldn't stand the fact i was right about them and our relationship. What im saying is that it saves you alot of time and emotional energy if you just break up and avoid contact.

why you should avoid contact and delete everything about her ? because she won't take it lightly .. she probably will become angry. keeping her on facebook , msn is horrible because she probably will tell you stories how she met other guys and post pictures of her and other guys on her facebook - just to get to you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwIefHIbfEU

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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Yeah. It's not being petty - I've found that any time you try and talk it out and reason things through during a break up with a girl like this, it inevitably goes sour. Cutting her out completely ensures the perennial BS-storm that will follow, doesn't cover you in its shit.

I know and agree with what you guys are saying. Let me clear up a few things because they may have been confused

1. She cheated on her boyfriend with me 2 years ago, we then lost contact, got into contact about 5 months ago when I began gaming her, we got together 3 months ago.

2. Shes only slept with 3 guys, including myself

3. I'm pretty sure she hasn't cheated, shes very honest and if she had done, she would have told me, just like she told her ex.

I have set boundaries with her at the beginning, not directly, but we were talking what constitutes cheating, and what we'd do, I said any cheating and I'd walk and I'd definitely stick by that. Her "excuse" was that he wants her to see his EP Launch. If she does cheat, then that's it, I will cut her out of my life completely there and then. Thanks everyone, I really do appreciate your advice, but until I have proof that she has cheated, or until she tells me that she has, then I'll just act indifferent to the whole situation.