Match.com



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 Post subject: Match.com
PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 1:16 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 5:12 pm
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Location: College Point (Queens), NY
Match.com has mixed results sometimes. It is usually good but can be pretty rough sometimes especially when opening with a neg. Most women there are primed for relationships and expect only the nice guy approach. I stung this girl below on the self esteem pretty hard and I can't decide if I want to continue juggling her or use as BS practice. Let me know what you guys think should follow: (the opener and part of the conversation was adopted from previous posts).

[me]
Are you wearing a wig...........or is that your real hair?
-Barron
[HB]
Excuse me?..I just wonder why you made such assumptions?.. first, I have no need to wear a wig ok and please do not ever write to me again.
THANKS
PS. If you think it was funny.. I find you with lack of humor!
[me]
Whoa!! I was just curious plus your profile does say you have a sense of humor. Anyway don't worry it looks nice. While I have your attention, I need a female prespective on something......Say, this guy is dating this girl, and she goes out with her friends, has a few drinks and ends of making out with a random guy at the bar.....Would you consider this cheating?
[HB]
I do have a good sense of humor,but girls are very sensitive when it comes to things that pertain their looks specially hair, skin, and weight. and yes in response to your question I consider that cheating. I don't believe on excuses and people's behavior under the influence of alcohol. THAT IS PLAIN CHEATING!
[me]
Interesting.....okay, let me ask you this......Take the same scenario, but this time the girl is making out with another girl, and lets say she does this almost every time she goes out.....would you consider that cheating?
[HB]
No matter if she is with a girl or a boy is still cheating. When the person is on a relationship and acts this way every time he or she goes out no matter who is she with either with a boy or a girl is still cheating. In other words, no respect for her or his partner.... No matter who you do it with.. is still cheating ( that if she is with someone)
[me]
Well, this is a situation that my friend Nick is in. He has been dating this girl for about 6 mos and he really likes her and then she tells him that she makes out with girls all the time. He's not really sure how he feels about it. On the one hand, he thinks its hot, but on the other, he fears that he can't satisfy her and that they will never get more serious. My opinion, I think she should have been more upfront with him from the beginning. I'm big on honesty. If you establish the relationship as casual then its fine.
I like your take on things. I have to get some work done and sleep, but we should talk some more, but only if you stop yelling at me. I promise I'll only send you creepy inappropriate messages 9 times per day ;-)
[HB]
she is BI and is not fair that she did not establish that from the beginning of the relationship
[me]
Ok, I can tell you are still a little sore over the wig thing. That's fine, I'll just have to adjust my tone to stay within the bounds of your sensitivity level. After all, you did say that you had "a good sense of humor, family oriented, inspired to succeed in life, and never afraid to accept a new challenge." So lets turn this conversation from hostile to awesome. :) I am confident that there is a sweet charming princess under all that anger, at least that's what your pics say with your smile.;-)

Quick female perspective opinion: I'm going to a themed party and can't decide......... purple leather pants or tiny black speedo
[HB]
None of the choices are sexy.. both are tacky.. decide for something more tasteful.
[me]
Wow. You're almost qualified to be my personal shopping assistant. Who said anything about sexy? You must be fantasizing about me in both outfits, which is ok.... I guess since it gives you a visual. Please don't drool though, it's not lady like! Oh and I've decided on wearing socks and a tie to the party. For the added tacty effect, the tie is pink and no you weren't invited.

What do you guys think?
-Mercan

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-Mercan

"If it squeals, mount it!"


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 Post subject: Nice
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 11:01 pm 
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Location: San Francisco, CA
Sounds good, but where did it go from there?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 4:14 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2007 5:38 am
Posts: 136
I agree about negging on match. You can do it though, just don't do it in the opener, wait for the second e-mail. And make the neg very mild and funny. When I get to my second e-mail post, I'll show you my canned neg that intrigues the hell out of the HB.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:55 am 
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Joined: Sun Sep 16, 2007 5:16 am
Posts: 42
Location: Florida
i have a match profle and my strategy is simply find something in her profile to bust her balls on, nicely, and ask her a question. i have found that you should never show interest in hr in the initial e-mail just act and write as if you want to get to know people.

example of my e-mail....she was a big Florida State University football fan, i'm a florida gator fan.

Florida state huh? .......I bet you Clemson knows who they are. I'm the only gator in my family, i guess i got the brains in the family. lol

Hopefully she will respond because i don't think it was too mean, but playful. and its a good ice breaker/opener.

we will see in a couple of days.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 11:49 pm 
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[quote="doc1983"]Florida state huh? .......I bet you Clemson knows who they are. I'm the only gator in my family, i guess i got the brains in the family. lol[quote]

I tried a similar approach in the openers but I think it was too much over the top.

"I heard nothing good ever comes out of [instert school/college here]!"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 3:29 am 
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Hey Merc,

Actually, no I'm not liking the post a whole lot. It follows the guidelines well, and that's good, but your instincts are right when you say this is an online forum with different female expectations.

Out in the real world, real-time social responses can be played off of, giving negs a chance to break down feminine defense mechanisms.

However, on a dating site, the girl has a chance to digest what you're saying, and respond more thoughtfully. Frankly, that's bad, we'd like it if they think as little as possible.

I would change up my tone slightly from wise ass to sarcastic. I know they're almost exactly the same, but basically the difference is don't get quite so personal with your neg. Neg them about something they said, "Oh really, you go to the library everyday, I call BS on that!" Something they can play off of in a flirty tone, that still is getting them to want to respond to it out of fake-flirt-anger.

Just my two cents


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 3:47 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:28 pm
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Location: Los Angeles
Mercan, i don't think you're going anywhere with that girl. Online game isn't the same as real game. All you've done is run a ton of openers in a row, and she hasn't shown any interest in you yet, which is a bad sign. Yes, just responding to your messages could mean she is interested, but that's not the vibe I'm getting from her.
online game != real life game...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 4:15 am 
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THIS IS SPARTA!!!

Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 9:56 pm
Posts: 300
Yahoo Messenger: xncxrockstar
I see you using the GAME but not understanding the game.

Opinion openers are used to talk to a girl in a bar without looking like you want her. You are suppose to use them followed by time constraint so she puts down her guard and you weseal in to her panties.

Now your wig opener was good considering you don't come off as showing intrest. Then you have her reply with its not a wig, her qualfying herself to you.

You have already opened so why open again.

I personally like using direct approach online.

If I can give you one piece of advice though, online dating is just to find the girl in no way is this how you date her. Get a number fast and meet her in person fast. If I dont get her number in the first 2 messages I don't even try to continue with her.


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