Ex hates me for no reason.. or is there one?



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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 3:44 pm 
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I'll try to make this one short.

So, my ex dumped me 2 month's ago because she felt that I had changed, I used to be this badass PUA that didn't give a shit about anything or anyone to this little AFC that couldn't live without her. Basically I committed the #1 Mistake and she lost attraction.

She said that she really thought that we were going to last forever but then I started changing (AFC, being jealous, etc, etc) and she was, I quote; "Disappointed and just fed up and couldn't take this anymore and just wanted to be alone".

We almost got back together, but I fucked it up by hitting a douche-bag in the face.


I learned the hard way. Was really down on myself and had a hard time moving on. But i've learned from my mistakes and am a better man, and will be a better "lover" in the future. Since then i've been living my life, seeing other women. I've got hotties posting Hearts on my Facebook wall, commenting on my pics, etc. I hooked up with a couple of them, just living the life.

She on the other hand has met a new guy (I know for a fact that they met after we we're broke up - or else I would have thought she could have cheated on me). I'm not afraid to say he's a downgrade. He's 17 (i'm 20 and she is 19), is a regular pot smoker and does nothing else than just hangout with his friends to smoke pot. He's a high-school drop-out as well. He is also ugly. I personally wouldn't be afraid to admit if he was better looking than I am, in fact, most of her ex's are good looking guys, and she herself is a solid 8.5/10 (and i'm trying to keep it down to earth with this rating).
She is the 2nd most attractive girl I've dated, the first one being a Dominique Model.

So the fact that she got a new boyfriend really helped me to move on, especially since I view him as a downgrade (I probably would have cried like a wuss if the kid was 21, driving a Ferrari he bought by creating a startup company).


However, despite that I am almost completely over her (and I say completely because i'm not afraid to admit I still think about her from time to time), there is one thing that really really really bugs me. I don't know if it is because men have a natural will to always want to understand and know why, but I just don't understand why she hates me.

After all, she is the one who broke it off. I never cheated on her, never yelled at her (always stayed cold as ice) when we where in arguments. Her mother loves me and her sister claimed "I was the coolest boyfriend her sister ever had".
Even when we finally completely broke it off I was the most mature possible (went over to her house told her that I wouldn't chase her anymore and that she wouldn't be bothered hearing any stories about me).

The other day, she posted a picture on Facebook of some dude (later on I found out it was her new boyfriend) sitting in her couch at her house. May I state that she never ever puts pictures up her boyfriends or whatever on Facebook, especially if they've been dating for 3 weeks.
So since it popped up in the middle of my newsfeed, I asked a friend of mine if he knew the kid, and he told me about it, said he had knew for a week but since we hadn't seen each other and he thought I didn't care he didn't mention it.

The next day I get a text from her: "If you wanted to know you could of had just ask me don't you think it would have been easier?"

So at first I thought I would completely ignore it, then I was hesitant of answering something along the lines of "Hey if you wanted and excuse to text me you could have found a better one!"; but I finally went with a more classic:
"Hey didn't think it was useful to bother you with something like that. We can both do whatever we want, I was just surprised to see you had a new boyfriend "

She answered "Ha its because you didn't want to bother me"

But the icing on the cake was my birthday who just passed by, and everyone was giving me there best wishes, and I thought she would text me or Facebook or whatever (since when we where appart, her birthday passed by and I sent her a simple text she then proceeded to b***h because it "was lame"), and all her friends (who I barely know) texted me there wishes, but she didn't.

I obviously don't want to be friends with her, but I just don't like for people to hold a grudge against me, especially for no reasons.

So what do you guys think, why does she hate me, for no reason? A friend of mine thinks its because she is pissed off at how the whole relationship turned out.
I personally, have no idea. :wink:


Last edited by ChristmasWish on Sun Jun 12, 2011 4:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 3:45 pm 
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Is there a particular reason why my posts can't be longer? I don't know why but it won't display my entire post...


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 3:51 pm 
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don't use any symbols, especially the greater than, less than arrows.

it messes up the html

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 4:20 pm 
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Okay thanks Mack, it appears to be working now.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 4:42 pm 
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She hates you because she really wanted things to work but you just couldnt do it...now because of your afc behaviour, her dreams of being with you forever have been crushed. Oh well, nothing you can do about it now.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 6:57 am 
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get her the fuck out of your life altogether. dont even think about her. you dont have to hate her. just get her out. Its gonna do you no good. this whole post was a waste of your time thanks to her.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 11:16 am 
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Quote:
get her the fuck out of your life altogether. dont even think about her. you dont have to hate her. just get her out. Its gonna do you no good. this whole post was a waste of your time thanks to her.
agreed

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 12:09 pm 
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get her the fuck out of your life altogether. dont even think about her. you dont have to hate her. just get her out. Its gonna do you no good. this whole post was a waste of your time thanks to her.
I completely agree with your post. And by no means am I trying to get her back, if she was to comeback I wouldn't even take her, but i'm just pissed that she hates me for a reason that I don't understand.

1. Because I HATE no understanding things
2. Because she is in no position to hate me, she's the one that broke it off.

These are the two reasons that piss me off.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 11:04 pm 
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Quote:

1. Because I HATE no understanding things
2. Because she is in no position to hate me, she's the one that broke it off.

These are the two reasons that piss me off.
We dont know the meaning of life. I dont HATE not understanding that. I accept it and instead enjoy life more because of it.

You need to do the same.

Instead of seeking answers for them, because they 'piss you off,' you need to stop worrying about these things.

You will never move on til you do.

It will be a test of your character. Prove to yourself that you can do it.

Stop letting her get the better of you

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 11:46 pm 
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life BEGINS when you stop asking WHY

and just start dealing with WHAT

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 10:45 am 
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Quote:
Quote:

1. Because I HATE no understanding things
2. Because she is in no position to hate me, she's the one that broke it off.

These are the two reasons that piss me off.
We dont know the meaning of life. I dont HATE not understanding that. I accept it and instead enjoy life more because of it.

You need to do the same.

Instead of seeking answers for them, because they 'piss you off,' you need to stop worrying about these things.

You will never move on til you do.

It will be a test of your character. Prove to yourself that you can do it.

Stop letting her get the better of you
Quote:
ife BEGINS when you stop asking WHY

and just start dealing with WHAT
Good posts, thanks.

I'm pretty comfortable with not knowing the meaning of life, because there are some unexplainable things that happen all the time.
But I hate not understanding something that can be understood (if I ask her).

Anyways, i'll accept it and not give a shit, like I did before I met her. Was much more of an alpha male before she turned me into an AFC :) Back to old times!


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 11:07 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:

1. Because I HATE no understanding things
2. Because she is in no position to hate me, she's the one that broke it off.

These are the two reasons that piss me off.
We dont know the meaning of life. I dont HATE not understanding that. I accept it and instead enjoy life more because of it.

You need to do the same.

Instead of seeking answers for them, because they 'piss you off,' you need to stop worrying about these things.

You will never move on til you do.

It will be a test of your character. Prove to yourself that you can do it.

Stop letting her get the better of you
Quote:
ife BEGINS when you stop asking WHY

and just start dealing with WHAT
Good posts, thanks.

I'm pretty comfortable with not knowing the meaning of life, because there are some unexplainable things that happen all the time.
But I hate not understanding something that can be understood (if I ask her).

Anyways, i'll accept it and not give a shit, like I did before I met her. Was much more of an alpha male before she turned me into an AFC :) Back to old times!
good son.

A breakup can bring out the worst in you sadly, but it will also create the best of you.

You dont know how strong you are til youre put in a situation that requires all of your strength.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 10:27 pm 
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Quote:
Good posts, thanks.

I'm pretty comfortable with not knowing the meaning of life, because there are some unexplainable things that happen all the time.
But I hate not understanding something that can be understood (if I ask her).

Anyways, i'll accept it and not give a shit, like I did before I met her. Was much more of an alpha male before she turned me into an AFC :) Back to old times!
I was through the exact same thing. (Except my girlfriend was my first girlfriend and that she was a 7)
The first three months were awesome. Best in my life. I became an AFC again, and it worked during this time. In the beginning of the 4th month, we went to a one-week course (violin playing - which we both do) and she used all her time with her friends, leaving me behind in torture :P

Since she occationally hinted with signs of love, I didn't believe that she didn't love me, I continued to think that it was in there, somewhere. Well, this lasted for ten months, and being thorugh depression and torture, I finally broke it up at the beginning of this month.

She wanted to be my friend after this, but I don't really want her as a friend after this, so that's upside down.
Did I mention I never had sex with her?

So, I have decided to become better at PUA and not go for anything less than a 9 as a relationship, and also require intelligence :P

What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger! :)

Also, I registered on this forum so that I could post this as my first post.
(Let's just hope this post is on topic..) :)


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 10:43 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Good posts, thanks.

I'm pretty comfortable with not knowing the meaning of life, because there are some unexplainable things that happen all the time.
But I hate not understanding something that can be understood (if I ask her).

Anyways, i'll accept it and not give a shit, like I did before I met her. Was much more of an alpha male before she turned me into an AFC :) Back to old times!
I was through the exact same thing. (Except my girlfriend was my first girlfriend and that she was a 7)
The first three months were awesome. Best in my life. I became an AFC again, and it worked during this time. In the beginning of the 4th month, we went to a one-week course (violin playing - which we both do) and she used all her time with her friends, leaving me behind in torture :P

Since she occationally hinted with signs of love, I didn't believe that she didn't love me, I continued to think that it was in there, somewhere. Well, this lasted for ten months, and being thorugh depression and torture, I finally broke it up at the beginning of this month.

She wanted to be my friend after this, but I don't really want her as a friend after this, so that's upside down.
Did I mention I never had sex with her?

So, I have decided to become better at PUA and not go for anything less than a 9 as a relationship, and also require intelligence :P

What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger! :)

Also, I registered on this forum so that I could post this as my first post.
(Let's just hope this post is on topic..) :)
Welcome aboard!

But did you say you where with her for 10 months and where depressed for 6? Why where you depressed?


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:34 am 
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you will drive yourself crazy trying to figure out "why" people do what they do.

she broke up with you.

why?

BECAUSE she wanted to.

if you can't accept ^that^ reason, you are not at a good place with emotional maturity.

no offense. but i've been there.

it's not about "knowing the meaning of life" (as you said)

it's about being able to accept things for what they are, instead of dissecting everything.

any psychologist/psychiatrist would agree.

trust me, i had my fair share of them early on.

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