Hi guys,

So my gf and I just moved in together. We both got new jobs at the same time and moved to a new city we're both not familiar with.

Anyways, it was her bday and her male coworker called her at like 10 PM at night. I'm sure it was to wish her a happy bday but I feel like they are getting too friendly. This is her 2nd week of work and that person already has her cell phone number. Last thursday, she out out drinking with her coworkers and didn't come home until 12:30 at night.

I get insecure pretty easily. Am i just over thinking this? How should I handle this? Ignore it and blow it off or should I address it?

Thanks guys.

I feel like you're overthinking and that it's probably nothing. She's probably trying to make new friends considering you guys just moved into the city. You only need to start worrying when she doesn't tell you she's going out for drinks late at night.

How does she act around you? Is she the same or does she hide or keep things from you?

It's not really hard to tell if she is messing around, at this point if things are ok, then they most likely are. If you keep her satisfied and happy, you should be fine!

Of course there are those stories of women but I'm going to assume this is not one of them.

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I think that next time they all go out you should go out with them. Don't let some dude mack your girl. I trusted my gf of over 2 years with a 'friend' and then one day they kissed. Trust no guy that is obv. hitting on her. If they are going out tell your gf you want to meet her friend. Don't let him hit on her without going through you

good thinking! i will do what i can to meet and be friends with these guys.

Yea, maybe those guys are pick up artists and they'll run enough game to break her.... Seriously though, it is possible. : p

I always find it interesting when topics such as this get brought up. Why does some random guy from work have your gf's cell # after a couple weeks? Why is she going out drinking with these guys without you? I understand trust in a relationship, but there need to be boundaries as well. I would never commit myself to a woman that does not respect my boundaries, and I would not be trading phone numbers with girls I just met (at work or anywhere else), or going out and getting drunk with them without her. To each his own, but at some point in life you need to man up and lay it on the line. Let her know you are not comfortable with this.

I know I sound harsh, but to be entirely honest, I have been that "work friend" countless times. The guy is always at home being a trusting chode, and his gf is with me, drinking, and doing other things. It never starts this way, but it has always ended this way. I don't do this now, and I feel bad for breaking up all of those relationships, but we are here to help each other out. Be honest and firm with her, women respect that. Good luck man.

Because co workers often need to contact each other. Its not as though he's a random
You dont really bring your partner along to work drinks unless you work with them

Meet her work colleagues and then you can make an assessment whether they are a threat or not.

amen

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I'm pretty insecure myself,
I'd say, make sure they know your face, but never get friendly with them.

In my world, I like to scare them away, even teach them a lesson if needed, however I understand most people don't work like this, but certainly make sure they know where ground is no longer theirs.

And another amen to the above, get your chick in line.

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Always be one step ahead of your emotions,
Take warning signs seriously.

Good advice. Make it a positive situation, "babe you're friends sound fun, i'd like to meet them." Girls love a guy who gets along with all her friends, so be that guy, but amog them slightly so they know who's chief on campus. Adversely, whatever you do don't create a competition by bragging about the awesome time you had with your co-workers, that'll encourage her to spend more time with them thus dividing you two further.

you should meet her friends, but frame in a way that doesn't depict you as worrying about her faithfulness. if you make a big deal over her going out with her co-workers it will only re-enforce her behaviour, you actually might force her into his arms in a worse case scenario. also i agree with with BigRyana that you should stand by your own values and beliefs, not only will she respect you for being strong but it will also prevent her looking down on you for being weak and timid, it's a big turn-off

1. Definitely meet the friends, and be fucking awesome and cool with them

2. Let her have her own life, do her own thing once in a while, and trust enough in yourself that she chooses to be with you for a reason

3. Have YOUR own life, hang out with your own female friends, and know that she trusts in herself enough that you're with HER for a reason

4. Enjoy the time you have together whilst it lasts. You'll hold yourself back from enjoying life fully if you spend it worrying what MIGHT be happening and all the possible negative things that COULD be going on.

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Thanks for all the tips guys. Everyone has solid points. I really like what Ryan said in his 4th point.

To update the situation, I ended up going to lunch with her coworkers and meeting some others at a charity event. The guys I went to lunch with (3) are pretty cool. One has a long term gf and he's super chill/funny and clicks with me. i saw pictures of his gf and its pretty clear that he's way into her. the other one is fat and goofy and barely turned 21. The last guy, her manager, smokes. I don't feel as threatened anymore.

Anyways, we've been living together for about a month now. Rent is $1500 / 2 = $750. It's a long story but now she's looking for places to move out to cause the drive for her is too far (about an hr with traffic) each way to work.

I got really comfortable with living with her and saving so much money on rent. I'm so pissed that she's moving out on me now and sticking me with the bill,even though i've asked her countless times if she wanted us to move closer to her work before my 30 day grace period.

am i wrong for being upset about her moving out? i feel like i'm doing everything to try and please her and she just peaces out on me when she finds something better for her and doesn't consider me.

fuck no, you aren't wrong for being pissed off.

wtf.

she is screwing you over.

wtf.

should you be happy about it?

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!