now, would that make her move on more? Or would that actually get her thinking? I love the idea though, and can make that happen.

Now here is the F bomb...

Bout 4 weeks ago... I (one way or another) accessed her FB account. Dudes were hitting on her, and she was turning them down saying "she only wants to spend time with her daughter and not a man" type of deal, then they would peace out. What I'm working twords here is being able to see her a few times a week, continual sex...basically all the good stuff without the actual commitment...which I sorta figure she wants to an extent. I've found no evidence of her having sex with anyone else, and to be honest she logs into FB fri, sat and sunday nights so I'm figuring there really isn't much going on. She has always been a push pull type of girl, or cat n mouse however you put it.

Now as far as FB goes, I havent posted a thing or done anything since we stopped talking, basically because I dont want her to know whats going on with me, and if she wants to know she can talk. SO would the productive approach be to take your advice?

I'm doing good not contacting her...but every second looking at my phone wondering if she has text me. I'm very tempted to tell her I just wana be friends go out and have fun.. I'm assuming thats counter productive?

Very confusing women. lol But I'm listening to all your guys advice and sticking to the plan so please dont stop posting and Ill be sure to update with results. If anything we can all get some real world result from this.

sweet sounds good man. You dont think this (facebook idea) will lure her to another guy? or will it do the opposite? Thinking back to when we originally broke up in like 09 a girl hit me up on myspace and it drove her nuts. lol I'm guessing this will be the case again? This girl is and has really always been a "push pull" type. I suppose cat n mouse is the same. The closer I get the further she goes, the further I go the closer she comes.

The F bomb here...

bout 4 weeks ago I (one way or another) gained access to her face book account. Basically guys would hit on her, and she wasn't having it, basically said "she didin't want anyone and she wants to spend all her time on her kid". and the doods just back completely off. Considering she generally logs in on friday sat and sunday nights.... i really dont see her getting to close to anyone. That's a good thing as far as I see it... and no im not lurking on her account lol I was at peak of retardedness and im done with that, for my sake of sanity.

i think if you display that you can get other girls or you can command their attention that she'll probably see it and it will either
1)make her jealous
and/or
2) show to her your high social value or DHV (display of higher value)

she'll see you CAN move on and you CAN get other girls ... that said it would be counter productive to have things like more explicit pics of you and girls or even you kissing other girls do NOT post that just post pics with girls flocking around you or being touch feely. also no stupid statuses saying how much sex you're getting or how many girls you're seeing. be humble because all of this is (as far as she will be able to see) effortless on your part you can go and get another girl whenever you want.

However if all you want from this chick is sex with no commitement, you could try (ONLY WHEN THE MOMENT IS RIGHT) saying it. shes a big girl she knows about sex and she has needs too...

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uve gotten alot of good advice there keefy, take it and use it. id like to add, never under estermate "social proof". like cheese said, take photos of u and girls and good time and put em on fb and she'll notice that you are like and wanted by other women.

or, fight the chemical reactions that want you to chase back to a woman, and the easyest way is, work on another girl to be a distraction. and if u then do meet up with the girl, you might not smell of desperation and will have a better chance

Play the game boys!

duckbill88

thanks guys.

I should clarify its more then sex, its the whole us being together thing to... not necessarily a relationship but lets say "dating" and see where it goes type of thing.

So girls posting on my wall "hey cody whats up?" should be ok also right? Considering there not saying something crazy..


hoping she hits me up this friday text in the morning, "happy Friday to YOU!!" (type of message) but i guess i shouldn't be counting on that. I just want the opportunity to ignore it for a day or so though I dont know how I should or would respond.



On the plus side ive really been reading these forums more...trying to be more Alpha male. I sorta realized I have some insecurities myself and am working on those type of things. I think I became to dependent on a person that is very independent. When her and i started i was a very independent person myself... somewhere along the lines I think I lost my ways..

''Hey Cody whats up'' or ''It was so much fun last night we should hang out more!'' things like that are exactly the kind of messages you want to be getting, its nothing explicit so you wont push the girl you like into a revenge fuck (assuming it makes her jealous) its just enough of a DHV.

Can i suggest that you honestly try to move on, i know you want this one person specifically but you ARE broken up and it WAS her decision, theres no reason you cant start working on getting her back while getting laid and who knows you might find someone else whos a better fit.

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Right on ty


LastNight went out with a new girl.and had a ton of fun. I was sitting at home depressed.and just thought.... Fk this im going out. I like this girl actually kissed her hung with her friends and seeing her again tonight. Then tomorrow night got a different girl coming over. Definately the only way to keep from going crazy is to experience something new.


I almost feel like telling my ex if you wana hang out have a great time with a great guy and non of that baggage crying emotional stuff then let me know and ill see if im not to busy.


GoodOr bad idea? So far your guys advice really is helping awesome

dont initiate contact with your ex for a little while, you need to build your personal confidence back up and your safety net (knowing you can be with other girls).

if she contacts you great if not give it a week or two then you can text her and ask her if she wants to hang out with you...
im assuming you still want her back that is.

if you dont want her back then dont bother contacting her but equally dont push her into someone elses arms for two reasons
1) if you change your mind you'll be screwed
2) its not your problem or business let sleeping dogs lie.

Sheps

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Excellent advice. DO NOT CONTACT HER! If there is one thing i do know (i dont know alot) is that if you want to get your ex back you have to show her that you do not care. It sounds harsh and all but SERIOUSLY (to her at least) you honestly dont care whether or not you guys get back together. I have been in this same situation (minus the kid) and if you dont care she WILL text you or call you crying or whatever, Eventually i got over her and moved on to other girls (and were still doing it 8 call me an A-Hole or whatever ) but for you you dont want to move on so as long as she see's that you are having a good time and are a cool guy to be around, she will also want to be around you. If she does not contact you in like a week or something, maybe text her a serious question, not an emotional one, something like hey do you rememember where we were when BS BS BS....okay thanks bye and hang up or something.

FYI!! Im new to the community but, from what i have read this may be the best thing for me right now because im so bored!!!! And from all of the posts i have read, everyone seems to be really cool and not Alpha D Bags....sorry if i offend anyone.

well I have a new girlfriend now.. but im already bored of her lol.

Still missing my ex, and want to contact her in some way but haven't. Since our last text thing all she has done is "like" a thing on FB and thats bout it. I'm not obsessing over it... but it's definitely racking my brain. I dont even know how to get to being friends like hang out with her again...

fuck.

tryin to stay positive.

how long has it been since you last saw your ex?

why not contact her and see if she wants to hang out or something like
"hey we haven't hung out in ages lets do *that thing she likes* it'll be fun*
or
"i just wanted to say i think the break up was for the best, it would be a shame to throw away a perfectly good friendship though." and continue from there

the reason i said about the break up thing is (and i have to say this mate im not trying to be mean or anything but) she is obviously over you. By saying you agree with the break up you're letting her know she doesnt have to worry about you trying to get her back (even though thats your real motive) so you can get to spend time with her as a friend while showing her how attractive as a partner you are.

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i think i last saw her about may 20th. last text communcation was june 3rd.

I hear ya, she is over me as a relationship standpoint... i agree actually. Waaayyy back in the day when we first started seeing each other she just wanted to keep us as friends even though we were having sex and seeing each other a few times a week.... i had to build up that relationship with her, not just "enter" it ya know?

so do you think taking your advice would be to soon? or appropriate? I basically wana say "i think us being friends is a good thing and i dont want you to worry about me going after more with you, if your schedual can fit an old friend in i'd like to take you and lex to rubys" (ok that just sounded so lame...) lol Not sure my route on this one...?

last time you spoke was about 20 days ago so its not a rush or anything.

i'd go with something similar to my previous post so or something about wanting to be friends and friends hang out, that sort of thing. Personally i wouldnt mention the kid, after your relationship she knows you like the kid and get on well with her so you want to be your Exs mate. She needs adult fun i.e. going to a bar and relaxing that sort of thing and thats the best way for you to get her thinking about you but if the kid is around she'll be focused on the kid (cos shes a mother) and thats the reason she said she didnt want to be with you.

Do NOT become a baby sitter for her daughter under ANY circumstances.

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(I just have to say, you guys are GOOD!)

As a female, the things that would work to make my mind start going into overdrive have mostly been posted.

DON'T initiate contact. Wait a few hours, day, whatever. Then noncommittal answers work best. You'll try to get there, you might be little late because something else is going on, too, or even, I already have plans, I'm sorry! Maybe next time! Those would drive me nuts, especially if you were fawning over me such a short time ago.

Post a few new pictures every week of you having a great time! Try to do group pictures that are co-ed where you just happen to have a hot chick on your arm. If she asks, go with 'she's just a friend, but she hits on me all of the time. I completely understand now how you felt when I was pestering you now!' That will throw her for a loop, for sure!

You said she was a flake. Next time that happens, reply with, 'that's okay! I was actually going to ask if we could reschedule, too.' Don't give details!! If she asks, it really isn't a big deal. The imagination makes better scenarios than your mouth ever could!

Keep in mind, you would have to remain aloof forever to keep this girl's attention. Do you plan to make this a lifestyle change or just get your girl back and revert?
Either way, good luck!

THAT! That is genius, it never occurred to me to do this. I bow in the presence of greatness lol.

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