Here`s the deal:

I usually come off as such a douchebag becouse I act like a know-it- all guy.
Problem is I try hard not to, I don`t really wish to be pedant or leave that impression on people; but truth is it`s the reputation I get almost everytime.

It`s frustrating as hell, I`ve been told that I`m starting to being hated by people at work and it`s only been a month since I started.

This makes me jump into a conclusion: starting from a generalization, if true, then this people are plain stupid that build criteria on a person and thinks they know him in only one month.
In the other hand, I don`t wanna be loved by everyone, it`s ok if some people hate me, but my main problem is I`m this really proud guy of himself on the outside, but actually on the inside Im insecure really.

What I`m trying to say is that being humble it`s a bitch to me, I`ve tryied and it`s very frustrating, specially when you are misunderstood by others that bealives you are saying one thing, when you are actually not that cocky.

I know I`m not there to please all my coworkers, I also know that these gossips are unavoidable, I wanna be cool with God and the Devil.

First month at work, doing SPAM for the government, and I find out there are some gossip about me already.

So tell me, anyone knows how to be humble but not wanting to please everybody? Actually, not wanting to please anybody; I go there to do my job, not to make everyone happy.

Thanks for reading.

The key to that is, try to give value. Every time you neg someone, piss someone off, etc. You're taking value. Being a value giver is one of the best things you can be. Dont try-hard for rapport, just respect other people's model of the world, and it'll work better. You dont need to be a dick. Just go be cool with people naturally, when they give you shit, just disarm them. In group dynamics, Try this model out. I made it .for when I fuck up in social circle, work, or school situations.

Group Rapport = Abundance, friends, people love you
Breaking Group Rapport = Attacks, negative gossip, etc.
Once you get a few more friends and change overall the gossip will change and they might like you even more due to the principle of fractionation.

People will gossip and make up an opinion about you even after the first day. What happens however is that their opinion about you changes.

When I started at my current job, people thought I was this insecure idiot who had to ask for help for even the smallest thing. This is not true at all. The reason I asked around was because I'm a perfectionist and I want to be good at my job.

Now after one year, almost everyone love me. They threat me like I'm the smartest, and most self-secure person there. Your co-workers are forced to work with you, and they will give you a lot more chances to prove who you really are.

And what MalisVals said is very true and important. People love being validated. And will validate you back for it, both directly and in gossip. The trick is to do it right, without loosing your own value while doing it. For instance when I talk 1-on-1 with someone and they tell me a story, I seem really interested, smile, ask for details and reward their good points, even though sometimes I don't really give a shit.

And also, for work situations, people hate whining douche bags who don't do their job. Don't ever fall into that category. Be positive and efficient at your job, and your co-workers will love working with you.

As for being too cocky; as long as you are aware of it, you can work on it and become more likable. Turn your attention on when you are talking to people that you like, see how they act and give & take value.

Good Luck!
/arn

Great point MalisVals!

You obviously do care to impress the people at work and that is cool. You need some social validation, we all do. The easiest way to balance out that stuff is by making people smile. Careful your body language doesn't show you to be a self indulging asshole.

Start saying thank you to everyone, it is very important that when someone does something for you in a work environment that you are gracious for their action.

Start complimenting people at work, not based on their physical looks but perhaps based on their style(they got a cool piece of jewelry or shirt or whatever). Maybe they said something funny or did something cool compliment them. Elevate them.

Start congratulate them. If they recently are showing off what they did such as buying a new car, say "sweets congrats, what kind?" then smile and let them enjoy the fact that they just got a new car. Do not compare cars or status merely congratulate them. If their kids were successful doing something congratulate them.

Start smiling at people. Consciously smile at people and bow your head a little to them(so you are raising them up a little). When you see people let your smile grow as eye contact is made. It will make people feel so much better.

Stop becoming defensive. If someone says something about you roll with it. Just laugh it off and forget about it. Hell I even confirm statements, that's true, even if it is false. It doesn't matter that much, just be cooler then the statement per se.

That should be enough for you to start changing your reputation.

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Thank you guys, I`ve got some good advices in here.
To be honest, I do thank a lot; people says I`m way too educated (the kind of a nice guy).
In fact, I do so so much some friends call me: "the thank you very much".
Main reason I`m asking for advice here is not what I say I guess, but rather how I say it.
Same problem I have with women, I`m starting to think that what I say its ok, its the right thing to say, Im just not saying it the way its supposed to.

Proper body lenguage should work wonder for me I guess, and be a little more interesting on the topics I use on a regular conversation.

Today a girl at work that I`ve been playing a bit like cat string theory said to me that I was frivolous. Nothing personal she said and I agreed.
I do present myself as a frivolous bastard, dont know if thats right or wrong.

It's time to go postal!