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| sterling11 | PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 1:00 pm | |
| Offline | | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Mon Jul 26, 2010 11:45 pm Posts: 3 | | So I created an OkCupid profile about a month ago and have been sending out a good amount of messages. I've gotten a few responses, and have met up with 3 girls. However, I've noticed that almost every girl I message looks at my profile but never responds. Does this sound like a problem with my profile or the messages I'm sending?
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| dlightmen | PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 3:08 pm | |
Joined: Sat Jul 11, 2009 10:48 am Posts: 844 | | Definitely the profile. You send a message to catch her attention, and you're making her interested enough so they want to know more about you. But it looks to me like the hitch is when they look at your profile.
Honestly, one can send out some pretty lame openers, and still get responses with a good profile. Women don't want to know the opener, they want to know the person who is sending it. I'm not saying its not good to come up with original witty openers, but just that a profile holds more weight than the opener.
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| mpuapua | PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:36 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast | Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:42 pm Posts: 78 | | when i first joined okcupid i spammed girls and got a few dates. then no matter how much i messaged and talked with girls (i tried different writing styles and experimented and a lot of the girls did reply) but after talking back and forth with 50+ girls, all of them stopped replying at some point and did not want to meet. even unattractive, overweight, strange girls did not want to meet! i don't think it's your profile that is wrong, unless you have something negative, pessimistic, or defensive sounding on it. i got dates from girls who just joined the dating site, but i noticed that they stopped replying after we went on a date or two and also i noticed that they quit the site 1-3 months after joining it. i think girls are generally not motivated to go on dates with guys from online and also they give meaning to your job, to how you spell and use comas, to how you use interesting words, and also it helps to be a great looking guy with awesome pictures. if you do something that they find exciting like dancing, then that might motivate them to talk to you and meet you. one thing that can help is if you take a few dance classes and post a picture of yourself dancing, than you might stand out from other guys.
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| GKS | PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 2:14 am | |
Joined: Thu Jul 08, 2010 11:16 pm Posts: 1166 | | From my experience, I would say 50% is profile, other 50% lies with the girls. With my bizarre openers I have about more than 60 girls look at my profile every weeks, however about 5-10 respond back. My profile is not amazing but good enough to make them interested.
I do see the trend that its either all or nothing. Usually those who are interested either exchange emails back and forth 4-5 times then flake or got really hooked and give me their numbers. The problem is the girls resolve to online dating for a reason, they can be insecure, shy, come with baggage or have their own issues or simply just there seeking validation. Don't forget the fact of fake profiles also. Also they get like 50-70 emails a date, a girl told me she lost me cuz she couldnt find my emails in that bulk. So there are MANY reason for them to lose interest and flake.
I would say improve your profile is good, try different openers and see it as an experimental process to improve your game in real life. Don't stress over it too much.
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| Mig | PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 3:55 am | |
| Offline | | Member of MPUA Forum |  | Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:15 am Posts: 170 Location: Maine | | I'd say about 9 out of 10 women reply to my first message. Make sure your profile is fun/interesting and short. Have a variety of pictures that show you doing things that would be cool for someone to join in on. And your message should relate to her, and engage her in a question that's not typical (ex. "what's up" is no good) but at the same time not weird ("if you were a unicorn, would you...")
I've had great luck with online dating and have slept with 2 women from it in the last 2 weeks (one of them is 8 years younger than I am...).
All of this being said...I'm pretty much done with it. The women are typically pretty crazy, and it's just not a good way to find interesting relationships. If you desperately need a hook-up, it works, but the best women don't need online dating.
If you need some profile help, post a link here, or send me a message with it.
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