Girlfriend & Past Sexual Partners



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 2:04 am 
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I am with dark on this one.

I believe that the reason most men have a problem with it is simply human history. We have been programmed to find the woman who will be the best mother for our children. And we have those keys have been developed in our culture and religion to a set of morals that help ensure happy babies and families.

If you don't believe in religion...that's fine....but you can't ignore the basic set of guidelines that are prevalent all over the world


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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 6:06 pm 
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holy shit.... look at your initial question.

its was something like: my girl has a had a few sexual partners

" a few sexual partners"

if it actually is a few, you should be thankful! unless your young as hell... like below 18.

and like the others said, if she is going to be faithful... it's irrelvant. im going out on a limb here, but im going to guess her number is higher than yours, the nature of how it was brought up at all makes me think that's what it is


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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 7:47 pm 
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At least you know she puts out... (I'm only kidding) :P

Honestly man, it shouldn't matter. The past is the past.

Think about it this way...her first few times (like with most girls) were probably uncomfortable and awkward. Aren't you glad YOU weren't the guy to make her feel like that? You're free to enjoy her in a more 'sexually liberated' state. Isn't that better...?


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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 9:45 pm 
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You are messing with fire and you will get burned. I went through this in my past relationship. I was very confident in myself and had a great girl. Then one night we talked about our numbers and it went down hill from there. I dug and dug and it just ate me up in side. Curiosity does kill the cat. Do NOT dig or you can say good bye to your girlfriend. It is in the past, leave it there.


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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 10:07 pm 
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find a virgin


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 1:53 am 
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"36 dicks... (for all the Clerks fans here):"

The real question is "why does it bother you"? Is it because you are afraid that you won't be able to measure up to the guys in the past, the mental image of other guys doing what you are doing to her, or something else? I'm not asking it to be snide or trite, but am asking in all honesty, as it impacts what kind of answer to give.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:23 pm 
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Only time I'm concerned with past sexual partners is if I believe the sexual energy is due to daddy (or emotional) issues. :lol:

Some of the best sex I've had, but without a doubt the most roller-coaster of a ride relationships.

Seriously, if she's a normal girl it's nothing to worry about it. However, something I've learned is if a girl has started to build or slowly escalate into something with you while having a boyfriend or seeing someone, this is an enormous red flag. You should consider her as having the propensity to cheat easily...you shouldn't expect this type of person to be faithful.

For example, I was talking to a girl who clearly became interested while seeing another guy. It eventually got to the point where she was talking shit on him, calling him a pussy, and would have cheated on him at the first chance she had

The end result was her dumping him to sleep with me for a month (I knew this girl wouldn't be relationship material and wasn't that interested anyway.) And when I showed my lack of interest and wouldn't give into her BS and drama (an obvious sign she wanted more) she threw a fit.

Guess what happened next? Back to the guy she was calling a pussy and left to fuck around on. I feel bad for the dude, though. He knew this girl dicked him over and he doesn't have the backbone to move on.

Anyway, long story short, beware. Consider the circumstances.
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it might be some insecurity on my part. i don't like to think about my gf banging another guy before me, even though it's in the past.
so in your opinion, how does one get past this issue?
thanks
Well man, I am glad that you can admit it, because many guys can't. How does one get past this issue? Well, #1 you have to realize that it's just your mind fucking with you.

The problem with information like this is once you know it it's hard to get out of your head. Personally, I don't ask what a girls # is and don't tell mine. If it's more than 1 then it doesn't matter cause she's not a virgin anymore, and as long as she is disease free I'm cool.

Now that you have that info in your head you just have to tell yourself it's no big deal. What's in the past doesn't matter. She is with you know because she cares about you and that's what is important.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:56 pm 
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If you love her it shouldn't be a problem, just try not to let your insecurities over come your relationship.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 12:48 am 
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Why is it ignorant? I have a high set of moral standards...I want my gf to have the same. So you can sit there and tell me that you would rather a whore then a "good girl" lets say you had a choice beetween a women who has had 3 partners in her like all of which she dated and a women who has slept around with 20-30 randoms you would pick the sluty one? common bro thats a joke! I know that trying to find a virgin is unrealistic but finding a women with self respect is not.

I have no shame in what I posted.
You think the number of people you fuck correlates with moral standards? Some women LIKE sex. It matters why she did it rather than how many she's had. If she was sleeping around to feel good about herself, because of daddy issues or to fill some emotional hole then that's a whole different can of worms you need to deal with. But if she knew what she was getting herself into and did it because she was horny or whatever, then fine, that's her choice. It's in the past. You weren't there so you have no right to judge her. I go for a don't ask don't tell policy, but if a woman chooses to tell you then get the fuck over yourself and recognise that sex is a part of human nature.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:28 am 
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If you love her truly. Just forget everything about her..neither past nor future... Just love her..


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:44 pm 
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Get over it.

_________________
-Bedrock

"The society that separates scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting done by fools." - Thucydides

Seize the day with love

Sometimes you succeed, and sometimes you learn.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:59 am 
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Why is it ignorant? I have a high set of moral standards...I want my gf to have the same.
That's great but...with the utmost respect, kinda bullshit. You can't really talk about high morals when you yourself are willing to overlook them because you're in love with your girlfriend. How are these standards working for you now, other than giving you anxiety because the person you've chosen doesn't live up to them? People never live up to our every ideal.
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So you can sit there and tell me that you would rather a whore then a "good girl" lets say you had a choice beetween a women who has had 3 partners in her like all of which she dated and a women who has slept around with 20-30 randoms you would pick the sluty one? common bro thats a joke!
It's not about preferring "sluts" over women with more modest pasts, but choosing to accept a person's past because you love them. After all, you made this choice!

Let's be honest, there's only one real issue here: We get bruised egos even imagining our women with others. We want to be the best, the first, the only one that matters. If a gal has been with a lot of guys, how could the sex she's having with me truly be special? And the real fear: how do I stack up with all these other guys? But it's not a number that makes sex special, but the relationship you have with that person. That's what really matters, and if you're getting that right--including taking care of business in the bedroom--you really should have nothing to worry about.

Some women do use sex in a negative attempt to fill esteem and may be at greater risk of seeking validation (worst case, sex) from others, but in that case you're dealing with a much bigger issue than just the past/numbers.

My gf and I know each other has been with a healthy amount of people through general conversation about the past, but we agreed in the beginning not to exchange actual numbers, precisely because someone almost always loses in that game. I too have been somewhat intimidated sexually knowing she was experienced, but there are only 2 possible outcomes to that: either I manned up and focused on being the best lover I can be, or I let it eat away at me and psych me out and thus virtually guarantee that I'd be disappointing. [/i]


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