im fairly quiet/shy shes open, changing the dynamic



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PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2011 1:55 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 04, 2011 2:30 am
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hey guys, got into the game around a year ago and practiced and got hooked like im sure many of you did, although after some success abandoned it for some reason, now looking to get back into it after realising im worse with women than ever before.

started a new job a few weeks ago at a bar, I imagine that I come across as a fairly shy/quiet type of guy, after all I didnt enter the work place looking to hook up. I ended up going out on a few nights out with my work colleagues, I've ended up staying with a girl from work that ive had interest in, Shes very talkitive and open. Ive now arranged a date with her, at the moment I find it hard to open up and talk freely with her, Im a fairly backwards sort of guy. Just looking for any tips to help ease this process without having to get drunk haha?


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PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2011 6:32 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 2:15 pm
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here are some notes on attraction, building rapport, and number closing which might be of interest to you. enjoy.

one thing you should know is when to tease (push pull technique, negging etc). they should only be used if ur target is a 7.5 or above (or the girls who think they are 7.5 or above whereas in actual fact they are not). if you were to tease a girl below that rating, you would end of hurting and insulting them. in exclaimer for using negging and teasing is that one should positively validate their target before they negatively validate them. the reason to do it in this way is because one must hook their target in order to get their attention. so after the positive validation (for a set who is +7.5) you negatively validate them (tease, push) in order to put yourself at a higher level than them because at the beginning they are higher than you. the main reason why it is good to use negging is to challenge the ego of a girl of high calibre which is something that a typical afc does not do. and by doing this, it shows that u r a man that has high standards and does not go for just any girl and this will make the girl more interested and it will compel her to work harder to gain your approval because you have showed disinterest in her, told her that she does not fit your standards (negative validation). girls always want the guys that is surrounded by women and guys which are difficult to get, its a challenge for women to go after those guys.

building rapport is a very interesting process. in order to build a great emotional connection one must choose to talk about things which have deep emotional content. it does not matter what the girl does or likes, you can connect with her even if you have dissimilar interests. as you know all occupations and hobbies are completely different in their complexity, principles and structure, but there is one thing which all of them have in common/share "EMOTIONS". one must be empathetic and show a girl that u understand why she chose to do that job or hobbie by expressing the emotions that one feels when doing that activity, it shows that you're really trying to get to know her, and she will think "wow this is a great guy to talk to, he's making an effort to understand me, but wait, i dont know anything about him" and this will compel her to ask you questions and u can freely express yourself how ever much u want as long as u express urself passionately and positively. all the men dont do this at all and do not understand how much empathy is a powerful force and openly allow themselves to be perceived to see a girl superficially. you can use the concept of 'rapport' to ur advantage as well.

in order for you to build greater rapport with her, get used to asking more open-ended questions e.g. "what have you been up to?" or "What did u get up to today?", my one: "What monkey business did u get up to today?". dont use questions like "wats up hun?", thats a closed-ended question which the girl would simply answer and she wont give u much material to work on in order to reach the hook point.

and connect on her answers in a positive way. dont be afraid to tease her as well. dont be afraid to create impact. when telling a girl about a situation that happened to u on that day or in the week, give more details about it, women love details. it is also good to read the local news paper, women are usually very aware what happens in the world, u should as well. u can get her point of view on something in the news (nothing to do with which celebrity had sex with who) e.g. political, environmental, sociological etc and then she would ask you what u think and you can manipulate the conversation which can lead anywhere u want.

another way u can have an "endless conversation" is the principle of "Question, statement, Question, statement, Q, S, Q, S etc". so u ask an open question, receive the answer, and then make a statement about the last thing she said in order to ask a deeper question. this process can go round in a circle, it can go on for ages.

after you have the girl attracted to you and built rapport, here's how to make sure that you can get a definite number close and afterwards ensure a date in the future.

the way to ask a girl out is by 'offering' not asking permission, never ask "Do you want to go out tonight?" or "will you go out with me?" or "so what time are you free tomorrow?". They are all questions which AFCs do. they make a guy sound needy, desperate, dependent on doing something with her.

so before offering a date, let her know how busy and sociable you are. girls want guys who are difficult to get. usually in rapport with girls, to make sure she does not flake on u after the first meeting, there's a pua principle called 'seeding'. this is when u in plant an invitation in the conversation with her but u havent actually invited her. for example, you could say that "im thinking of going to this really cool bar sometime next week which i heard about". now usually when a guy mentions to a girl about going to a bar, club or party that u know, the girl will always expects the guy to automatically invite her. but what you would do is just to mention the party or the bar and continue on the conversation. this will catch the girl off guard and the girl will be thinking "hey, this guy is pretty cool (depending on the attraction and rapport), but he has just mentioned this party but why is he not asking me out?". she will think this and will be more compelled and desperate for you to ask her and she realises that she needs to work in order to get the invitation. women want to go to things that are hard to get into, exclusive and even more if they are told they cant go. people always want to go to things when they have been told they cant go. sounds so forbiden and interesting.

dont be in the position to be waiting for a girl to call you, women are lazy or busy but definitely unreliable. you make the contact. but when u contact, dont sound like you are too eager to see her, bad sign to show that ur desperate. in between texting a girl, act like u dont care if she ever replies back. i know it sounds crazy, but it does not feel good waiting, checking ur phone every so often seeing if the girl replies. have the frame of mind that u dont care about a reply, then u will feel less anxious, and more focused on ur game.

Hope that i have helped. happy gaming dude :wink:


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PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2011 7:08 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 04, 2011 4:33 pm
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Location: Greensburg, PA
/\do u just copy n paste that?? Its solid advice, but I feel like I just read that a min ago lol

Anyways...come out of your shell and hang out with the humans. We don't bite, unless that's what ur into lmao...anyways your problem is inner game. Build up alot of confidence in yourself. I personally love to be the center of attention n when im not, I feel out of place. Shy or quiet are the last words people would use to describe me. That's just me though everyone enjoys dif things. If you want to be more quiet n reserved, keep an air of mystery around you. Don't be quiet because you are shy, be quiet because they havnt earned the right to know you. Do you know what I mean? Anyways, you will get what I mean. I personally would be doing everything in my power to break out of my shell if I were you. It really is such a high to have huge groups hanging on every word you say...granted you have to be funny n confident, but you are funny and confident so SHOW IT. Donor be afraid. Fear is failure and the forerunner of failure. Guys get hot girls because they have the balls to go and get them. Think of the hottest girl in a club...every guy wants her, but how many actually try? You will notice its a small few who think "I can have her" then go and do it. Do not let your nervousness get the best of you. Spend time exclusively with good looking girls. You will realize they are just humans like the rest of us (or most of them, me excluded ;-)). As sic, there is nothing to be shy about. Be confident in yourself and do you. Some girls will dig it, some wont. Once you realize its a numbers game, you wont worry if you open a beat set. Shit happens. You will find sets that drool over you. The key is to just be your best self, and roll with it.

You have a date with this girl, so obviously she is entertaining the idea of you. Don't worry if you will mess up, cause if you think about it, you will make it a reality. Instead be the best you, and she will dig it. Play well my friend, hope this helps.


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