Hey so I am currently studying abroad and have been here for almost three months. I met another girl from my country (U.S.), named Kayla. We hit it off the first few days and hung out, but nothing ended up happening. I think it is because when we were together, I started flirting with other girls in front of her to make her jealous. But I don't think that worked out very well. Eventually, our relationship (me and kayla) became very hot and cold. During the week, we would flirt but on the weekend, we would barely speak. We would see each other in clubs but never really talked. Actually I had chances to talk to her when we were out, but I didn't know what to say to her because I would just think too much. I can flirt with her when we're sober but not when we're out. I don't know why but I just freeze; I don't know what to say to her. Nevertheless, I am good friends with all of her friends and in good standing with them.

I have never had a girlfriends before and am still a virgin at 21. Thus, whenever I am talking to a cute girl, I get into this phase in which I think about every little encounter we have, just because I have a crush on her. I don't think I would do that if I had more experience.

My lack of experience with women is not really congruent to the way that I act. I look and act "normal." People that know me would be surprised if I told them I was a virgin or never had a girlfriend. I am able to communicate well with everyone I'm around and have many guy friends as well as friends who are girls.

Back to the story, because I think about every little encounter and whatnot, I thought it was interfering with my overall state of mind. I am only studying abroad for a semester and my main goal for the time being was to go out, get out of my comfort zone and have fun. And get better with women. Because I thought too much about her, I was straying away from my main goal. And that was not worth it. So then I completely stopped speaking to her for a few weeks, which was difficult because she lives in my building. It didn't seem like I was avoiding her, but rather we just never crossed paths.

But as of late, we started talking and flirting again. Last night, we ended up watching a movie. During the movie, an Australian girl took her top off. She then asked me if those were the first Australian boobs I had seen. I said no. (which is true because I saw a pair at a wet t shirt contest a few weeks back, but I didn't tell her that). I asked her if she had hooked up with any guys. She said yes, that she had just made out with one Australian guy. Right after the movie, she left and that was that.

I feel dissapointed that we have not hooked up yet or even made out. I feel like I should have enough skill to do that. We only have six to eight weeks left before we have to go back. Do you guys think I should still pursue this girl. Unfortunately, I have started thinking about her all the time again. Any suggestions on how to handle the situation??

Also, I always seem to get stuck here, whenever I'm gaming a girl. I can start out well, but I just hit a road block whenever I get to the mid game.

Please let me know. I appreciate it. Also general feedback on myself would be good.

Thanks!!! Let me know!!!!!

yea bro, the thing is that your an AFC, and that is a good thing cause there is space for improvement!!

you need to build yourself from inside, in other words, you need to improve your inner game, cause if you are not shore what you're doing with her, she ain't going to be shore either. so i recommend you to download a hypnosis from "wendi friesen - Core confidence", and listen to it every night before you go to sleep for the next 6 days.. the next thing what you should do to improve your inner (and outer) game is, download "demonic confidence" and DO IT!! with that you will get a new pair of balls and you will be able to predict the responsivnes of a woman when you want to open her..

and the situation with the girl, you just need to man up!! be a man, don't be afraid to show it to her, let her know that you have certain needs witch must be taken care of.. when you look at her, look in her eyes, so that she knows what you want, you have to radiate that feeling, that self confidence that you the man, and that you're FUCKING AWESOME!! don't be afraid, take every chance that you get and talk to her.. and always remember, it's always easier to get forgiveness then approval..

good luck

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You'll be screaming my name..

I agree, I do have a lot to learn. But I need more feedback. I have also been taking that perspective to heart (I am the man, etc.)

This is an update on our situation.

Last friday, I went out with her and her friends. Everything was going well, i was escalating and flirting with her (kayla). The last place we went to, however, 3 or 4 guys came up to her and started hitting on her - she knew them because they play frisbee together. I grabbed one of her friends (Carol) and we walked around the venue and played pool. I just hung out with her cause i didn't want to compete with the other guys - i didn't want to chase her because i felt like i didn't have enough experience in those type of situations to actually come out on top.

Nevertheless, she came to us (me and carol) later and asked where we went. She stayed for like a minute and left. When we all left, those boys who hit on her kept walking with Kayla and our group. I then went to bed once i got back to my room because i was pissed off (because at the time, it looked like she went off to one of those guys rooms). I found out the next day that the group stayed up all hanging out and that's all i know. She could have definitely hooked up with one of those guys. Also, on Saturday and Sunday, she hung out with the frisbee boys. It is Monday night now and we haven't spoke much since Friday night. I went to go watch a movie with the group of 6 girls (including Carol and Kayla) who i went out with Friday night, yesterday. But I didn't say anything, and didn't give Kayla any attention at all. I'm not sure if that's the right move I should have made, but that's what I ended up doing. I was still talking to other girls and laughing at the movie and whatnot, but i just didn't speak to Kayla (or look at her for that matter).

Anyways, tomorrow is Kayla's birthday and Carol asked me if I was going out with them to celebrate her birthday. I said, i'll have to check my work load (school) and perhaps I might join. I don't know if I should or not. Again, I haven't talked to Kayla since Friday night. I've been giving her the cold shoulder. I've done that because I had come to the conclusion that she isn't interested in me because she would have hung out with me Friday night or any other time in the weekend. But she didn't. And because she didn't, I decided that I was done pursuing her. Instead, I was going to pursue the other aspects of my life.

I still want to hear your guys' opinions on what I did right, what I did wrong, if I should go out tomorrow (which I free and able to do, kinda want to as well), how I should act around Kayla. Because I really don't know how I should act around Kayla. I just hate the thought of me being stuck in the friend zone, which I didn't think i was in because we flirted a lot and hung out a lot last week. I guess it is very possible that she was leading me on, and having fun while she was out with other guys.

Let me know what you guys think. Thanks!!!!!!!!!

Sounds like you definatly have some IOIs. She might be have been intrested especialy when you watched the movie together. You needed to at least kiss close. By just wathcing a movie and nothing more she is getting bord. She needs some excitement. My suggestion kino and look up some good kiss close lines (there are alot out there).

Going to play pool with her friend was a good idea, and good sign that she came looking for you. Thats when you needed to grab her attention, she checked in nothing was going on, back to the other boys that might make a move. Let her take a shot for you. If she does well convince her to play the next game. If she shoots poorly, giver her some shit in a friendly way.
A line I like is "oooohhhh, not so good at pool huh? How long ago did you turn 21? (smile, maybe kino with a light push)"
If she says something like "3 months ago" then respond with something like "Oh then you have plenty of time to lern"
If she says "10 years ago" then you say "and you still don't know how to shoot? This is an important socialization skill." Keep it going and don't forget to kino.

Go out with her for her birthday. Know that she is going to get alot of attention because its her birthday. Don't make it obvious that you are competing for her attention. If you cant win go off with one of her friends like you did eairlyer and think of some way to catch her attention when you return.

Dont give her the cold sholder too much, she will just go home with one of the other firsbe dudes. Good luck!

Yeah she is defiantly into you, Adrino is right you need to c-close because she might think your just being friendly. Go for it and try not to make to big a deal out of it just play it like a game and the next levels c-close, She sounds like she will react positively.

It sounds like to me u r reading way too much into shit n also ur a virgin so u don't have the confidence to push the situation. I highly doubt u escalated much at all because you are probably scared n nervous. Also...why the fuck would u leave if other guys are around?? This is another big issue im seeing. You want to be this girls friend n have her like u more than u want to fuck her. I bet this is really not the case, but u r playing as if it is. Like u r in "good standing" with her friends?? Who gives a fuck. I remember when I was real young n a virgin, I was constantly unsure if I should make a move and instead of really building n being sexual I would try to make the girl comfortable. That is a huge mistake. You do not want her to be comfortable. You want her sexually charged, and you want to create alot of sexual tension. People that fuck always have that little bit of tension. Girls are only 100% comfortable with friends they know they will never fuck. Chances r this girl chalked u up as a friend a long time ago. Its no issue tho buddy, no issue at all. Gain a little bit of confidence in yourself, and don't be scared to make the vibe extremely sexual. Also u said u would text all week n not on the weekend...hmm wonder why?? I know what it was like to be a virgin, but at some point u just have to go for it. Fuck...if NOTHING is working for u...just find ANY random girl n pop ur first one off. After you realize sex isn't some scary thing, you will be on the right track. Instead you will realize its the greatest thing possible. Finally...MAKE A MOVE. This girl probably wont be into it, but go get some other ones. Hope this helps buddy. Make it pretty apparent that u want to fuck the girl after u have build up some sexual tension. Its ok to be sexual man. You don't have to pussy foot around testing n trying to get close with a girl. Whats close than inside???

I totally agree with kinorc on this one

This girl has probably already decided you are not a potential sexual partner, unfortunately. You have created an image in her head of you, and that needs to be framed from the onset because once the image is there, it's hard to change. It doesn't mean that the image will NEVER change, but there has to be a paradigm shift in your confidence and also time in between - since you are only there for a semester it's really gonna be tough to make that happen. GO ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR SEMESTER ABROAD... guaranteed there are a ton of good looking girls around you right now that you could be meeting!

That said, this is an important exercise to help you grow and gain confidence. You should definitely try to make a move on this girl next time you're out with her- and i mean push the situation sexually and don't be afraid to make your intentions known. You are probably too smooth at this yet, but you should start understanding that uncomfortable feeling of stepping out of your comfort zone - it gets way easier with practice. The worst that could happen is that you get shut down, and then you can get some closure so you can start focusing on other things

When it comes to the movie part. She definitely showed IOI's by asking you if youve ever seen a pair of australian boobs. Its a sexual topic so thats a good thing. Honestly man, you probably could have made out with her then just by trying. If it was me, after all those questions she asked, i would have said something cute/corny like "So have you ever kissed a cute guy while watching (name of movie)" not let her answer and slowly went in for the kiss. If she had an interest at all i strongly believe she would have been completely ok with it. Or i would have just kissed her without saying anything. Those situations are easier than you think.

As for her birthday GO OUT WITH THEM. That is your time to make your move, on her birthday.... as long as shes not to drunk... you dont want to wait a long time with a girl you like, then hook up with her the first time when shes completely fucked up. But i say make your move when your out with them then.... i believe you just have to make your opportunity, grab your balls, use them, and kiss her. Everything will go from there. You said your bad at talkin when ur fucked up, so dont get to fucked up.

Also at this point i feel like its useless to ignore her and flirt with other girls to much, i think thats more of a when you first start out getting to know eachother thing.

GO FOR IT ON HER BIRTHDAY. ISOLATE AND DESTROY!!! I BELEIVE IN YOU..... post results

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FAIL PROOF PICK UP LINE: excuse my, im sorry to bother you but my father beats me, can i have your number.