First of all I don't want to be her friend, I love her and really find her attractive. I've been on and off with her for 3 months and although we had a few dates we were really close and got on well. 2 weeks I asked if I was like family, and she said "do u want to be in the family" when I said "ya never know" she was like "what u meeean u never know!"

Some guy at our work got between us and even the last few weeks different guys who want her tried to put her off me and because of our history if a guy says I'm a certain way she believes them and thinks I'm probably jealous of them. A month ago she broke it off saying she didn't want a boyfriend but still called for like a week later.

She slowly stopped talking to me like a girlfriend. I told her how much she means to me and that I would like to know if we are going to progress then she tells me she just doesn't know what or who she wants right now. I tried talking about sex alot in person and in txt and even though she loved the conversations it still never changed her mind. I asked her this week what she really thought about us on because I was tired of things. I came on strong and told how "we shouldn't let it go" She said "I'm not letting it go, but this is early still"

So when I see her at work today she was giving mixed signals but was 85% not interested sometimes friendly face othertimes blank and cold. I thought I would test her and said "it's alright us being friends" and she said "shuuuut up lol" in a jokey but whiney way. She still flirts and seems to care but is desperate not to show it. When she moves away a bit from me as I flirt with her it's more a game. She has always done it.

Is this because she knows she wants more? prior to this day the girl always has warm and interested looks in her eyes. Today was awkward for me and her, because I didn't know how to be, I still wanted to touch and joke around, but I wanted her to feel comfortable, and she looked like she was brushing me off at times but didn't mind when I put my arm around her. I got out my phone and played with it too look like I was txting a girl, she watched from top of some stairs, and looked down really serious at me. She just kept staring it was weird.

She was in a 5 year relationship before she got with me, so she says she wants to clear her head and be single. I find it weird how she rushed to get with me though. Can I get her back? believe it or not she is very loving and kind.

anything's possibile. and you probably wont like that I would do in your shoes...

but if it was me, I would start acting distant. and then date other girls, maybe find one that didn't care about the shit other people said.

also if she see's you moving on and treating her like a dorky little sister and being with other girls there is a chance she might react to preselection and negs and want you back. but maybe not.

just learn from your mistakes this time. from what I'v read I get the feeling you got too serious for her, specially after her just leaving a massive relationship.

I never try to be the one who define's the relationship, I just enjoy a girls company and if were hitting it off she eventually brings it up and thats when i usually decide if i want to get serious, but usually not lol.

hopefully someone has better advice.

The worst thing is her brushing me off really has ruined my confidence with her. I'm doubting our chemistry and starting to think she doesn't really like my personality. These thoughts are putting me off from even bothering with her, when I know there isn't any harm in a txt or call.

She went from calling me every other day to nothing in the last 5 weeks. I was contacting her quite a bit up intil last week when I could see she wasn't really bothering with me. It feels awkward just giving up, it's like I'm letting her know I feel like I've lost. She is perfect for me, but I really can't tell what she thinks of me anymore. It's like she likes the shell, but because she knows I'm not a challenge she has no interest now.

As AllTime_ said then... make yourself a challenge. You saw how she reacted to you when you were pretending to text a girl so why not actually do it? Go and meet a couple of girls and date them. This will give you options, show her that she is at the back of your mind and then see how she reacts.

If she thinks she has lost you and wants you she will come running! If she thinks she has lost you and doesn't then you know there was nothing there. But then you have other girls to fall back on

I saw her at work briefly and my god guys my heart was pounding. If this is onenitis then I think it's justified!

She was smiling and friendly and walked with me. I kept up kino putting my hand on her back and the side of her waist and even kissed her on the cheek when I greeted her which isn't something I would do as we are at work but I didn't care. She told me her ex boyfriend was around her house and tried to attack her or some shit. She was telling me how he was saying he loved her. I said "if you love someone you don't cheat on them"

I showed alot of emotion in my eyes and looked at her and told her I care about her. I only froze her out for two days but I feel like maybe she could be a fuck buddy although I would love to be in something long term. I just don't know how I can keep gaming her when she has all this shit going on in her world and she has stopped contacting me and I only see her at work.

Woah man, slow down a bit. You want to make her a fuck buddy but you obviously love her, that would never work out. Take it easy with her for awhile, start seeing some other girls. I'd also stop telling her you care about her and stuff. I know it's hard to distance yourself from a girl you're in love with, but I think it's for the best. Like you said she is busy and apparently in a whirlwind of emotions. Don't wait around her while she tries to figure that stuff out. I guarantee if you freeze her out (really freeze - two days isn't a good freeze) she'll come crawling back. If you stay around trying to help her, telling her how much you care, all that junk.. you'll probably just be getting yourself a first class ticket to the friendzone.